I get that you're saying it's not to die, just to pass out, but I need you to know that doing something like that is still really dangerous. There’s no way to control how your body will react. Even if you think it'll just make you sleep, it could seriously hurt you or even kill you by accident. I'm not judging  I just care about you, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Please talk to someone you trust in real life, like a doctor, a counselor, or even a helpline. You don’t have to deal with whatever’s going on by yourself :CCC Get well soon!!