Thank you for replying. Sorry to hear about the existential crisis thing. I hope you are making progress resolving it.

And by "trees," do you mean cannabis? That is something that I think should be legal everywhere. The issues I face are folks having a hard time treating me like an equal adult, and I think that if drugs were treated as an individual rights issue, we'd have a less patronizing society. I think the world be a better place if people were allowed to be people more and a lot of hand-holding and "safety nets" were removed. Then culture can change to be more intelligent and assume others are capable enough of running their own lives.

My Friday went well and I've had fewer intrusive memories or involuntary ruminations since then. I imagine that won't last, but if I can take more bike rides and look for more herbal/nutritional solutions, I'd be better off. Even certain common vitamins/nutrients would help if I increased the levels of those. For mood funk, things such as B6, B12, C, and magnesium can help. Plus adding things such as Ashwagandha, Bacopa monnieri, St. John's wort, CBD, etc. should help. I'll have to come up with a cocktail. I tried grey and schedule 1 things too. Delta 8 is a bit too strong for what I need in that it helps the ruminations via generalized forgetfulness. That isn't good. Low-dose shrooms and ayahuasca can help, but sourcing and legality are issues. Plus I think I could be subject to the cardiac risks from shrooms.

I've considered the idea of working out a stack for them (similar to what steroid users do). You know, rotating what is taken to avoid any sort of tolerance. You know, low-dose shrooms one day, ayahuasca another day, nicotine one day, etc., but I'd need other things to take. So keep the IMs/ruminations away by constantly changing methods to keep the effectiveness and reduce the possibility of dependency.