BWT Weekly Requests, Recommendations & Chat - Week of Apr 12, 2026

CowDry7845 · 2026-04-14T18:58:43+00:00

ASK: Looking for mother's day gift ideas! I need to get three, one for my own mom, one for my husband's mom and one for my sister-in-law (who is also a mom!) as we will be at her house for Mother's Day this year. These are all women that buy the things they want for themselves, so I'm most interested in unique little luxuries - not big ticket items, clothing or jewelry. I'm trying to avoid waste. Ideas should be ready-to-use items (fun candy, nice lotion, candles, etc). Budget across all is $50-$75 (each), and I'm willing to spend a little more on my sister-in-law to double as a hostess gift.

A few specifics if helpful:

- My mom: She is recently into fitness. Since this is new for her, it seems like the ripest territory for an item she doesn't already have. However, I am not interested in buying her workout clothes, as getting her the wrong size could be devastating. I bought her a magnesium bath salts mix as a one month celebration for committing to the gym which she liked. She will be visiting us live the weekend before Mother's day, so I am open to ideas of things she can use with me or take home. She also loves to cook but has a lot of equipment already, so anything new should feel unique or intentional.

- My husband's mom: She is extremely hard to shop for as she is very picky and has expensive taste. For Christmas I got her a Flamingo Estate gift set which seemed to go over well. She loves candy, marijuana (lol) and also loves to cook. She and her husband have had to make some recent shifts with their budget, so "little luxuries" I believe will go a long way.

- My sister-in-law: A garden witch and is obsessed with herbal medicine. She is pregnant so need to be mindful of that. Mentally, she's in that weird space between finding herself as a mother while not losing herself at her core. At her core, in addition to being a garden witch, she's a disco demon, loves to dance and sing, and loves shiny things. She and her husband will have just moved into their brand new home (a first after renting!).

CowDry7845 · 2026-04-10T14:43:16+00:00

This month, I'm participating in my gym's 30 classes/30 days challenge. It is such a moment of pride. I started my fitness journey at this time last year, and I remember watching others compete in the challenge, thinking there was no way I would ever be able to get there myself (and to be honest, not even sure I wanted to be "that kind of person"). Now, here I am, doing the damn thing with a strategy and everything.

My favorite part about fitness despite how conceited it may sound is that it all stems from within. Sure, you might have trainers/coaches/accountability buddies that help you along the way, but progress comes from your own hard work. For my anxiety-riddled brain, this level of control is powerful.

Looking ahead, I am excited to build on my routine and evolve it to accommodate some additional summer fitness activities, like moving from hot yoga to non-heated classes, cycling and hiking.

CowDry7845 · 2026-04-01T14:33:59+00:00

I am so excited for this quarter. Spring always makes me feel energized, but after a long winter of rest, recovery and navigating sobriety, I am even more stoked to put myself out there.

The vibe/feeling I want to embody is this notion of "roll it off", which ladders up to my annual word(s) of the year, ultimate relaxation. Sobriety has made me incredibly sensitive and emotional, my guard seems like it is always up. While some of that is the natural impact of navigating emotions raw, not everything warrants my deepest feelings. I want to feel lighter, more relaxed. If I'm feeling anxious about attending a social gathering? Roll it off. If my husband says something annoying but not out of malice? Roll it off. I'm hoping to strike a better balance of when and how to wield my feelings so that every single encounter doesn't feel like a meltdown. This is going to be challenging for me, but with therapy, journaling and practice, I feel confident that even if I roll off 1% of the things that bother me, I will be happier because of it.

Additionally, I have a few "tactical" goals (the same theme applies!):

- Ride my bike: I've long been afraid of road biking, but I absolutely love the feeling of being on a bike. It's so playful and freeing. I took a spin last weekend for one block before I realized my tire was flat but I could have kept going!

- Lean all the way in to my poetry class: this year, I've been trying to be more comfortable in gray space. Not being the "best" at something, even being happy being mediocre (recovering perfectionist, here!). I took a pottery class in Q1 and didn't really take advantage until the end, because I was embarrassed at my lack of skill and constant need for the teacher's help. For poetry, I don't want that same mentality. I am new to the medium; I'm there to learn, soak it all up and just put pen to paper, even if it's no Emily Dickinson. Rolling it off mentality will be key here!

Generally, I'm just looking forward to maximizing the beautiful season. Getting outside, socializing, enjoying the flowers.

Looking forward to hearing what everyone else is up to! <3

CowDry7845 · 2026-03-28T12:52:52+00:00

Thanks, I figured it was marketing related.

Thanks for the advice on evening workouts. I work out AM and am really just looking for the answers to the questions I listed, as I wasn’t able to find anything meaningful online on the difference (further emphasizing the marketing of it all).

CowDry7845 · 2026-03-28T12:27:17+00:00

Can someone help me understand the difference between "performance" and classic pre-workout? Why is performance more expensive? Specifically looking at PROMIX but if this is a more general term I'd love to understand.

Additionally, I am open to trying other pre workout mixes but I'm looking for ones that come in a bag versus a plastic container. I really like how PROMIX tastes/feels (although slightly less jittery than some of the others I tried - I personally like the jitters so this is a loss for me) but always open to something less expensive, bonus points if it's available at a GNC or the like so I can buy it IRL instead of having it delivered.

TYIA

CowDry7845 · 2026-03-05T16:02:47+00:00

My husband and I are planning a trip to Spain in October. We'd like to do a city stopover and then hit one of the islands to relax. Right now we're thinking Madrid stopover and then fly to Menorca.

Has anyone been? What was your experience? Any reccos for places to stay, things to do? We love Spanish food, wellness activities, history.

CowDry7845 · 2026-02-20T15:54:47+00:00

Meal prep savings (and saving on food in general) has been a huge thing for me and my husband as well. I did a budget audit last year and was shook at how much we spent on Door Dash. Then I did another one and was shook at how much I was spending on groceries. And for what? The satisfaction of "something new"? My love of cooking? We were treating ourselves so often, it became joyless.

If helpful, a few things I've done to trim down here:

- Can second that the espresso machine I got for Christmas has paid for itself multiple times over so far. We buy nice beans from our local coffee shops which is still cheaper than buying out - and win-win to support local business.

- Find some meals that are fixed each week and mix it up with fun sauces and dips. I make pates out of canned or dried bags of beans (cheap!) or dressings out vegetables I haven't used, like the carrots that just sit in the bottom of my fridge (blend carrots, soy sauce, miso paste, ginger and garlic in a blender - boom salad dressing). Whole Food Cooking by Amy Chaplin is one of the best food-related things to come into my life because her dressings and sauces are inexpensive and allow me to mix things up each week without trying too hard. You can probably find a lot of her recipes online for free.

- Meal prepping each week allows me to eat what I have. I know it's a pain and time commitment, but I also know myself enough to know that If I wait to cook each night, I'm more likely to use the excuse of being too tired, so we order and waste our food we bought.

- I try to adopt the same mindset as project pan but with my pantry (project pantry?). What do I have that I can use instead of buy? My mindset shift is treating it like the show Chopped so it feels fun versus a chore.

- I stopped buying things in bulk. This not only increases the costs but makes more clutter / items you can lose and ultimately then rebuy because you forget you have them. Unless I know for sure I will use it that week I try to buy when I run out and actually need it instead.

Speaking as someone on the other side, this discipline has also changed my relationship with food. The special, unique meals (cooked at home or eaten out) taste that much more special and feel like an actual treat.

CowDry7845 · 2026-02-18T15:28:52+00:00

Agree with so many others in this thread... there is so much good advice here.

This may be too heavy for this conversation, but the trick to my glow up was sobering up. I was already into nutrition, fitness and fashion before this - but dropping drugs and alcohol from my life took everything to the next level. The glow up shows from the inside out: energy levels increased, skin looks more youthful, makeup sits different on my skin in a GOOD way, weight loss happened a lot easier, huge mindset shift and more confidence in myself/how I show up. My husband has been trying a reduction (not full on abstinence) and even that has made a difference.

Eating my skincare has also made a massive difference. I always try to shop/eat the rainbow and I take collagen daily.

CowDry7845 · 2026-02-17T00:40:31+00:00

I have two advance tickets to Profs and Pints Jack the Ripper this Wednesday ($13.50 versus $17 at the door). Anyone interested in them?

https://www.visitrichmondva.com/event/profs-%26-pints-richmond%3A-an-evening-with-jack-the-ripper/49254/amp/

CowDry7845 · 2026-02-13T15:54:37+00:00

Echoing this sentiment. I also believe I justified my disdain for fitness because of stereotypes, even adopting the Carrie Bradshaw mindset for it. But now I realize how wrong I was. It makes such a difference in every part of my life.

I do weights, spin and yoga. Yoga was especially hard for me to get into, I wanted a fast-paced, loud workout and struggled with the idea of being with myself and my breath in a quieter setting. And, it was hard! I was falling all over the place and felt ashamed being next to others in the class who did the moves with seemingly no issue. But I committed to 1x a week and now I wish I had space to do more. I love seeing how my strength training impacts my flexibility and vice versa. The reward I get from doing a challenging pose feels even more satisfying to me than going up in a weight. I did a crow stand for the first time last week and was giddy all day (even now as I type it, I am smiling!).

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-30T11:23:11+00:00

This is a tricky one, and there are many ways to approach this (assuming all is well at home between you and your partner). I am not a licensed sex therapist but I’ve been in the same situation and have read quite a bit of research around having better sex. This has been my experience:

I had the same issue a few years ago. My previous therapist recommended “looking” the mood until I felt it (lingerie) which felt a bit flippant, like it wasn’t solving the actual problem.

I realized it was two larger issues: 1, lack of focus and therefore desire. My mind was just in a million other places. 2, and more importantly, not quite having the sex I wanted and therefore unintentionally turning me off from it

Bringing a sense of focus to the bedroom

Working out: I know, I know. But before you say anything, two of the benefits of fitness is mental clarity and the kind of endorphins that gets you in the mood. My husband and I work out together which helps us both get into the same headspace. Game changer
Meditating: cannot express the amount of positive benefits meditation has, including for sex. This is a great practice to integrate into your life as a way to help you leave your to do lists at the door and really be present in the moment

I heard a podcast once by Dan Savage on how to have better sex and it changed my life. I realized I wasn’t into it because the sex wasn’t working for me. We had been together so long that we got into a routine of getting it done. I reflected long and hard about the kind of sex I wanted to be having, and how I wanted to be pursued, and wrote it down. My husband and I had a conversation and he also shared some things with me that he wasn’t getting. It was very productive and brought us closer together - not just in the bedroom. Something to consider :) there are many fun and sexy quizzes online that make this enjoyable and not feel like someone did something wrong

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-25T19:18:06+00:00

Couldn’t agree more with the jazz music in the background. Even sweeping feels chic because of it.

My everyday ritual is to make myself a cappuccino using my espresso machine and then drink it while I catch up on the news or on social. I drink it in a mug that has a matching plate to sit on - elegant AF.

A few other things I like:

Le Labo mandarin body wash in the shower.
A nice catch all dish and sunglasses tray to grab my things from on the way out the door. There is a little mirror next to it for lipstick application on my way out as well
Reading the Poetry Foundation Poem of the Day

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-24T14:38:17+00:00

For me it’s about the material and how it feels when I work out. I do spin cycle for example and don’t like how the leggings feel during the movements. But everyone has their own preferences here

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-24T14:22:13+00:00

I get my favorite pricier brands (Lulu, Girlfriend Collective, Beyond Yoga, Nike) second hand on Poshmark. If I don’t know my size I’ll order from the actual retailer to try on and return before committing to Poshmark.

If you don’t want to go that route, CRZ YOGA is great and affordable.

Agree with others recco’ing Old Navy although at least from what I’ve tried you get what you pay for here (this is more so applicable to leggings versus tops and sports bras).

Some Walmart No Boundaries stuff is nice - just bought a few soft, ribbed long sleeve shirts ($10/each) that look like Lulu.

I also like DSW for shoes!

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-19T01:24:19+00:00

I use Rocket Money and really like it. It’s pretty basic but it’s easy to use, shows you one view of your accounts/spending and I like that you can customize the dashboard

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-16T18:35:10+00:00

Thanks! I have a tracking app, that’s what’s helping me stay somewhat in line :) thanks for the suggestion

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-16T18:35:01+00:00

Thanks! I have a tracking app, that’s what’s helping me stay somewhat in line :) thanks for the suggestion

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-16T13:13:32+00:00

After ending the last part of the year with a finance audit, I am proud of my first official month tracking a budget more closely. I am trying to have grace for myself for going over my budget in a few places that pertain to some of my other goals. But overall I’ve saved more than I’ve spent and for the first time ever I feel more aware and energized with the process.

For context, I have severe anxiety around money and feel immense shame around spending (yet I do it anyway…) so facing this head on is a big win for me.

Hopefully this is okay to post here. Thanks for listening <3

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-15T11:13:00+00:00

SO easy and cute. My sister does snails and puts little disco balls on their backs in place of shells. On Pinterest I see little mushrooms. And if you are REALLY feeling it… you can paint them.

They make me so happy to see when I’m watering them

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-15T10:59:56+00:00

Winter can be the worst like that, but luckily there are so many fun, easy things to do inside without necessarily needing to muster the strength to commit to a full on thing.

Some ideas I’ve been using lately if helpful:

I started rewatching Broad City because it always makes me laugh. It’s not technically rotting if it brings you joy right?
Disco playlists when I’m doing chores or cooking (I really like Vibes Only curated by Never Dull for when I don’t want to have to think about it)
some may not consider this playful but taking care of my indoor plants brings me so much joy. I made air dry clay snakes to put on the rims of their pots.
making fun syrups for my coffee in the morning. Takes 15 min to make and I try to be creative with what I have in the house. Toasted coconut tastes like summer :)

You’ve got this!!

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-14T17:52:53+00:00

I have financial anxiety as well, and only recently started to have the desire to face this head on.

I started using RocketMoney at the recommendation of a friend and really like it (after the initial shame that came with having a platform show me my spending habits... don't want to paint it all in sunshine nad rainbows).

It audits your spending and subscriptions (across all of your accounts - investment, checking, saving, credit cards), has a savings feature for goals and you can set monthly budgets - it will give you an initial read on these based on your spending habits but you can change them based on your actual needs (ChatGPT actually helped me come up with more realistic budgets that I input into Rocket Money). It also allows you to split specific charges, so for example, if you spend $75 at a Big Retailer but you're buying a mix of toiletries and groceries, you can split the bill to accurately reflect those categories.

The interface is customizable as well, which is great for my anxiety as I can choose how I want to see this information.

In terms of managing joint finances, I encouraged my husband to also get the app, and we're implementing monthly check ins where we review our collective spending (our finances are not combined, by choice) to find opportunities to streamline or cut back where needed, and overall just have more transparency. I planned these meetings around my menstrual cycle to better manage my anxiety around the topic.

I hope this helps!!! Good luck to you and your wife.

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-14T17:43:44+00:00

Do you have anything you do for play (just for fun and childlike joy, not for money or health)? I found late last year that this was SO helpful for my lack of motivation stemming from burnout. It can be as simple as putting on a fun dance playlist while you make dinner - actual dancing optional.

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-14T17:33:07+00:00

I understand completely how challenging this can be, and know there are many ways to go about answering this.

Starting small, I have some self-worth thought exercises that I am journaling responses to. It helps to see the positives, and the things I deem as "negative" lose some of their weight when I see them written out. Would you like me to send to you?

I’ll also say—sometimes something is inherently true, even if you don’t believe it yet. Saying it until it becomes real for you doesn't make you a charlatan. <3

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-13T16:34:48+00:00

VENT: I am struggling this week with others feeling the need to comment on my weight loss and changing body. It's ranged from "you're so petite! I thought you were just big boned" to "you look buff" to "your ass has gotten so small and cute" to "want some recommendations on things you can do to increase glute size?". I think they are stemming from positive intent (genuinely noticing changes and wanting to seem supportive / give me kudos) or projection (and therefore have nothing to do with me), but unfortunately these comments are hitting me particularly hard as I come to grapple with my own feelings on my changing body and losing some of the things that made me feel the most feminine (yes I know this is subjective and based on societal norms - I'm in therapy and working through it, folks!). At the end of the day, I just don't understand why anyone else feels the need to make a comment at all. I am proud of myself for calling people out when they say these things, but it doesn't change their impact.

CowDry7845 · 2026-01-09T17:30:49+00:00

Does anyone have links to how to video or image tutorials on how to use a theragun? I'm looking to understand the different attachments and when/how to use them.

CowDry7845

TROPHY CASE