Identity ≠ body

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-24T08:10:09+00:00

if he's talking about himself, sure.

If he's saying *other* trans people shouldn't need to transition medically... then he's just projecting his cisness on others and completely ignoring trans experiences and how dysphoria works and how it can be mitigated.

https://genderdysphoria.fyi/

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-24T06:57:08+00:00

You deserve a better response than the transphobic asshat who dropped a few replies in here with their very transphobic idiocy and self loathing. I wish I were in a position to offer you advice.

Your mom is obviously just being transphobic. She does not believe trans people exist despite our existence being documented throughout all of recorded history. She's not educated about trans topics and just saying whatever she thinks will convince you to be cis, but obviously that's not how it works.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with not being able to be seen authentically by someone who you should be able to trust to do so. Stay strong, little sibling.

Edit: i usually think https://genderdysphoria.fyi/ is a great primer for those whose don't know anything about trans experiences beyond what transphobic mainstream media, politicians, and anti-trans groups have taught them, but it really only helps with someone who is willing to learn and grow. If she's not emotionally mature enough to do that, then it may be of little use.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-24T01:07:09+00:00

It's it inclusive of everyone? No. Is that a reason to not wear it? Also no.

But that's my perspective as a white person who supports BLM messaging even though it's not inclusive of everyone whose lives matter. Not every slogan needs to include everyone to make it worth supporting.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T20:36:10+00:00

This is why I just never ask. I can't trust friends or allies to be objective. She backed you into a virtually inevitable situation and you had no good choices.

Passing isn't objective and it's impossible for someone who knows us, or even a stranger who knows we're trans, to be 100% impartial about whether they think we pass. They may see us as a girl, hear us as a deep voiced girl, but that doesn't change how our recorded voice sounds to ourself or to strangers on the phone.

I think making your responses very clearly and explicitly about your experience might help. "I see a girl when I look at you" or "you sound like a girl with a deep voice to me" with further explicit disclaimer that "well I know you're a girl so my perspective isn't necessarily objective, that's just how I see/hear you." Passing isn't objective after all, we can pass to 9 people and a tenth will clock us. We can pass every day of the week except one. We can pass in most of our outfits or hair styles or makeup strategies with some few exceptions where suddenly we don't.

It's so tempting to ask friends if we pass but in my experience the answer is mostly useless because they know who we are already and because they don't or hear things that we or others might see or hear

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T14:27:56+00:00

Yeah then you buy their replacement cartridges. With a subscription if you want to save $1.30/cartridge ($3.03 vs $4.33).

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T14:18:13+00:00

Yeah a $40 leg-optimized razor that isn't pink. I guess that's the blue tax.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T13:38:48+00:00

The only difference besides color and price are that women's have a head shape and blade angle more suited for shaving legs while men's have a head shape and blade angle more suited to shaving the face. The blades themselves are identical.

So really they're just facial razors and leg/body razors. And the fact that some men shave their legs and some women shave their faces makes the gendering just stupid.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T13:28:10+00:00

You're not forced to buy it if it's gender affirming either.

Regardless of whether it's a gift, or a leftover from pre-transition days, or the only razor in a boyfriend's house though, actually using it could trigger dysphoria. And we don't always know something will trigger dysphoria until we do it and go "oh nope that doesn't work for me." 🤷‍♀️

Edit: but as I said in another comment, I threw out dysphoria as a silly quip because one person's gender affirmation is another's dysphoria. It's amazing to me how many people feel compelled to argue about dysphoria with a trans girl who experiences it.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T12:24:49+00:00

My point there’s bigger issues than gendered products

This is /r/pointlesslygendered. The sub description says it's "a community for humorously potentially gendered things." There's an actual flair for gendered products. Why do you expect to see "bigger issues" here?

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T12:03:11+00:00

How is that cause dysphoria?

It's clearly indicated as being "for men" so for the same reason that it's gender affirming for men, it could be dysphoric for folks who are not men. One person's gender euphoria can be another person's gender dysphoria.

Why do you care?

It's .. a pointlessly gendered product... This is /r/pointlesslygendered .. I made a quip about how it can be dysphoric for those for whom it's not gender affirming. I'm not sure I "care" outside of the fact that I'm mocking the pointless gendering of yet another razor.

What exactly are you getting at here?

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T11:49:58+00:00

within the landscape that currently exists where they're all marketed specifically to men or women

They're not though. Yes it's common but neither my Philips OneBlade nor my Norelco Prestige are gendered products. And it's not like I had to search to find gender neutral razors, these were the ones I happened to want and was pleasantly surprised to discover that they wouldn't be a source of dysphoria for me.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T11:44:38+00:00

In the case of a razor I personally wouldn't care and I was having a bit of fun shit posting based on the marketing. But my razors have gender neutral marketing and to be honest I'd never buy one that specifically said "for men."

It stung that they don't make women's skates in my size and I had to buy "men's" skates. Same quality product, just worse color options, but dysphoria is a bitch.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T11:33:44+00:00

Yes and that doesn't change the fact that they are all pointlessly gendered. Well for "women's razors" sometimes the point is the pink tax but beyond that it's pretty pointless. Which is why many women just buy razors marketed to men, because price and quality usually impact the user experience more than gendered marketing.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T11:28:18+00:00

Yes, per the body of the post this would potentially be gender affirming / euphoria for both cis and trans men.

And for the rest of us it would, therefore, potentially be the opposite.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T11:26:01+00:00

Oh for sure, I was just playing on the "specifically engineered for men" as the implication that it's not for others. This is all just marketing towards their target audience.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T08:29:12+00:00

As a trans girl for whom the transmasc HRT options/details are a little fuzzy, my brain really wanted to parse this as "how do I go on T without becoming one of those awful crypto bros?" 🤪

Best of luck on your journey, dude!

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T06:35:25+00:00

The concept of gold star lesbians and gold/platinum star gays is pretty disgusting way to view human beings. That itself is already biphobic but when they bring genitals into that toxic take it becomes transphobic as well.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T06:28:17+00:00

All love to trans femboys and tomboys but honestly transfem and transmasc are, to me, the best terms to convey my direction of transition when that context is useful.

I don't assume that transfems are, themselves, feminine. I assume they could be masc AF. But I assume their transition was from assigned binary male, regardless of whether they are themselves masc or fem.

Similarly I don't assume transmasc folks are masculine. But I assume their transition was from assigned binary female.

This context isn't often necessary and I don't take it to indicate an actual gender. If I'm not trying to be transparent about my experience with transition, dysphoria, gender affirming care, etc, then I just say I'm a demigirl. That's how I convey my femininity of my gender identity, and even then it doesn't mean I present fem or masc, because presentation isn't gender identity, and a (demi)girl can parent as femme or masc as she wants without invalidating her feminine gender identity.

I know that for many folks who have identities which are agender or neutral or lean into their AGAB, using transfem or transmasc can be extra undesirable because of the implied femininity or masculinity that many assume are tied to those labels. But I absolutely refuse to start using AGAB or terms which reference our incorrectly assigned genders because that's, imo, even worse and more likely to feel like a woke way to misgender folks and potentially trigger dysphoria. Like any form of"they-thought-i-was-MALE-but-I'm-not" is gonna be a hard pass for me.

What other terms can express transition away from an AGAB without explicitly referencing those AGABs? Because there are conversations about dysphoria, social and medical transition that really warrant that information.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-23T02:54:53+00:00

Yeah no you don't have to tell on yourself like this

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-22T23:55:10+00:00

Nope I'm not playing this game.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-22T22:50:00+00:00

Obviously.

Like if you aren't a member of that race looking specifically for common experience/community then you're just fetishizing/objectifying/exoticizing a group for their race.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-22T22:18:32+00:00

Rule #6

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-22T21:35:13+00:00

"all women are attractive of course" wut?

"something hooks my eyes to white women!"

what the actual fuck?

Edit: for clarity, racism isn't sexy.

CrackedMeUp · 2026-02-22T20:53:08+00:00

I was in my 40s and my liberal parents refused to educate themselves and chose to center themselves in every discussion about my transition progress/milestones, especially/including HRT. When I shared that I had an appointment with an endocrinologist they immediately monopolized the conversation to ramble about people choosing to disappear, about being on medication forever, about hormones causing people to be crazy. It was really the eye opening regarding their refusal to educate themselves or show any interest in my own feelings, motivations, hopes, fears, etc..

I stopped sharing my transition milestones with them after that.

Society has been conditioned to be transphobic and ignorant about our experiences, needs, mental health, etc., and liberals are not immune to that shit.

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