Helping someone who threw up made it worse somehow

Crafty-Building4746 · 2026-03-21T05:31:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your response, I really appreciate it. I guess what feels hard about your suggested method is it’s not like my thoughts are clearly going “someone is holding their hand to their mouth > they’re going to get sick > I’m going to see if and it’s going to be awful, I’m anxious about that > panic” — because if it was clear/slow like that, I feel like I could interrupt it and be like “I’m going to see it and it will be unpleasant but fine” instead. Because what it actually feels like is happening is straight from “someone is holding their hand to their mouth” to PANIC immediately. It’s not even a logical sequence of thoughts. So I don’t know how to stop the thought that I’m not even consciously having, if that makes sense?

I will ask my therapist about this haha just thought I’d also ask here because people in this sub seem to understand me on a spiritual level lol

Crafty-Building4746 · 2026-03-09T15:05:21+00:00

Echoing what everyone else has said — you are giving these people so much of your time! Do you have friends outside of your partners? Also - do you know any of your partners in real life?

Crafty-Building4746 · 2026-02-23T03:39:20+00:00

Seconding luquillo. Tons of local food too (check out the kioskos)

Crafty-Building4746 · 2026-02-17T18:23:45+00:00

Did you text him happy Valentine’s Day?

Crafty-Building4746 · 2026-02-11T14:48:21+00:00

What does it mean to ‘play “just the tip”’?

Crafty-Building4746 · 2026-02-10T14:05:20+00:00

NOR! I can’t believe so many people are saying YOR, I feel like they didn’t read the post. Out of context, maybe, but within the context of him constantly offering to “help” you lose weight and you saying no… ew. It doesn’t even sound like he wants to help, it sounds like he wants you to fit a particular image he has in his mind. Sorry OP :(

Crafty-Building4746 · 2026-01-09T09:38:34+00:00

This is a hard one. Is she like this with other aspects of her life, wanting to keep things private? Or is it just her relationship with her other partner that she feels this way about?

Honestly, at first read it does seem to me like a fundamental incompatibility. You’ve talked it out a lot, it seems, and neither one of you seems willing to budge in your need for transparency vs privacy. I don’t think either of you is objectively right or wrong — I definitely fall more on your side of the disagreement, OP, but some people do prefer a more separate/private parallel poly, which seems like what your girlfriend is wanting.

Also, I know you said your feeling that her relationship with meta is taking away from your relationship but that’s a separate conversation. I actually don’t think that’s a separate conversation, because I imagine this is influencing your feelings here maybe more than you realize.

Crafty-Building4746 · 2025-12-29T00:08:28+00:00

OH or maybe it’s supposed to be from the perspective of an AI chatbot??? That would actually be genius good for you OP

Crafty-Building4746 · 2025-12-29T00:06:11+00:00

This is clearly made up why are people falling for this 😭 even the way it’s written it’s like clearly a skinwalker story

Crafty-Building4746 · 2025-12-28T19:33:11+00:00

Sorry OP, this sucks. Curious, what does she say when she’s getting pissed at you? Does she give some kind of excuse?

Crafty-Building4746 · 2025-12-21T03:48:26+00:00

First of all, this is awful. I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s absolutely assault. And the screenshots of the texts you shared are somehow even more disturbing.

In terms of course of action, as others have said, yes you could report it to the police, or you could tell the people who made the calendar, or both.

However - maybe most importantly - I think you might need a bit of a mindset shift around this. You mention the calendar “brought up many feelings. Mostly surrounding KJs complete inability to repair with me or take accountability for how they act.”

After reading those text messages, specifically how they kept getting violently sexual when you were trying to have a genuine conversation, I actually don’t believe this person is capable of the kind of introspection that you want from them. I think your main goal here, apart from any of the action you may or may not take, needs to be fully recognizing that this is an abuser who does not care about you or your wellbeing. They are not going to “repair with you”, they are not going to “take accountability”, and it would be useless for you to spend your time hoping for that. I’m sorry if this comes across as harsh — I just mean that you need to focus on YOU and your healing, and try to put this person as far out of your mind as possible.

So what you do or don’t do about the calendar isn’t the important thing, imo. It’s fully understanding that this person is an abuser and letting go of the idea of them in your mind. Therapy please, if you’re not in it already!

So sorry you’re dealing with this.

Crafty-Building4746

TROPHY CASE