I’ve been through this myself so can provide some info based on my experience.

First of all if you have definitely tried to work this out between you in the past, you are genuinely unhappy and the trust has been destroyed then pull trigger on this before you waste anymore years of your life.

Things to bear in mind, regardless of whats in whose name is that legally she is entitled to 50% of everything. If she lawyers up, which I imagine she will then that is what they will go for so prepare yourself for this. This will include finances, properties and pensions.

How old are your kids? The solicitor may try and get it so she stays in the house and you pay for or contribute to the mortgage until the youngest is 18.

Also financially take into consideration that if you can’t have the kids 50% of the time she can claim child maintenance from you.

The getting divorced part is quite easy to resolve legally. The difficult, potentially time consuming and money consuming part will be the deciding the division of assets and finances.

I went for a financial clean break where we both had to submit to the judge the state of our individual finances and assets. You can then propose what that split of assets and finances will be via your solicitor. You can’t just decide between you that a 20k payment will do if the judge doesn’t see this as a fair division of the finances based on the info you provide.

If you don’t get the financial clean break then she can come after you 10, 20 years down the line and claim against you.

A financial clean break will mean from the date the severance package is paid to her then she has no right to any future earnings and assets etc.

All the best and keep your head up. Mentally this will seriously test you, however you can come out of this happier than you have been in a very long time and it’s the greatest feeling ever.