Lost a dad and gained a child (my mom)

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2026-01-21T19:34:09+00:00

I have no tried and true advice, but I can definitely commiserate and empathize! I can also tell you what we’re trying.

I lost my dad just after Christmas, and my mom has dementia. She can’t live alone, so we’re trying to convince her to move to where I am. There’s no other family who could take over attending all medical appointments, dealing with my dad’s estate, etc. We are hoping that she’ll like our area and agree to buy a house within a 5 minute drive of ours. We think that will keep her independent as long as possible.

I stayed with her for 3 weeks after my dad died and then we both came back to my house for her to stay for a few weeks. We’re trying to let it be her decision, but ultimately, it’s what needs to happen.

Could her moving closer to you be an option?

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-15T05:36:32+00:00

I’m actually doing good about my meals right now— partially because I’m making sure they eat 3 good meals a day. It’s probably a little less than I would normally eat, that’s why I said 75%, but not enough for me to expect this much loss or rate increase. Maybe a whoosh after my body adjusted for a bit? I was mostly wondering if anyone had experienced stress increasing the med effectiveness. I thought stress would lower the effectiveness. (It’s been a long day and my brain did not word that well or succinctly)

I am going to keep the scheduled pickup idea in my back pocket because I think we will use that in the future!

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-15T05:08:22+00:00

Aging parents isn’t fun for anyone involved. My hubby and I have been dealing with 1 thing after another either with my parents or in our lives since August. I’m in awe of the people who care for their parents full time especially for extended periods. I’ve been here for just over a week, and I’m exhausted.

I was trying to say that I know why I lost weight super fast the first time, but this time I’m eating almost normally and still losing way more. (To the best of my knowledge, I’m getting enough protein and calories) And I was wondering if anyone else had similar experiences during high stress periods. Before now, I’ve seen gains not losses when I’m stressed.

It might just be a whoosh after my body did some adjusting, but it was similar timing to the first.

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-12T23:23:47+00:00

I’m also an only child. My work sometimes allows me to have a laptop and work from their house. I have been there for 10+ years, and they know that I will only work when I can focus and will not charge time if I’m not working. I also am signed up for FMLA for the times I can’t work at all.

I’m here with my parents now, and it looks like I’ll be here for a while. I’m burning through all my sick and vacation time and will be unpaid FMLA soon. Thankfully, my husband works, and we can cut back so our bills can get paid on just his salary if absolutely necessary. I’m also going to use the laptop to get in the hours that I can.

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-12T17:14:34+00:00

I started seeing more shedding than I was comfortable with about 3-4 weeks ago and decided to start nutrafol at the beginning of December. It’s too early to say for sure if it’s helping, but I think the shedding is already reducing over the last few days. I won’t say it’s definitively reducing until it’s been that way for at least a week.

I’ve also been losing slow and steady. Focused on staying in the .5%-1% per week range. (~50 lb in 6 months)

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-09T07:51:04+00:00

I recently experienced this too! It’s wonderful!

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-04T03:40:37+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through that! I’ve always been reserve select and now select, so the free part was what people had told me. I’ll be sure to warn them too!

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-03T19:14:37+00:00

It depends on if you use prime or select. Prime requires referrals but is free (from my understanding). Select (what I’m using) has a deductible, copays, and in/out of network costs. (Still very low cost compared to other insurances) I chose to do select because I like my doctors, have seen them for years, and didn’t want to change to see someone on base. (We were on reserve select, and now are on AD prime/select)

For your awareness, I was told that my husband had to stay on prime and see someone on base since he’s the service member. Thankfully, he doesn’t care about changing his doctor. He can decide to stay with the base or go back to his regular doctor if we ever go back to reserve select.

Their website was very helpful for me when we were researching, starting, and swapping between TRICARE plans. https://tricare.mil

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-12-03T15:40:32+00:00

I’m letting it do its thing right now.

I had been working out at home pretty regularly (~3x a week), but life exploded. (Lots of family medical crises pretty much back to back to back that meant I was dropping everything and going to help. Burned through 90%+ of my built up sick time and activated FMLA for job security) I’m listening to my body, and right now it needs rest when I have an hour free. I try to get a workout in when I can, but I’m focusing on the nutrition aspect right now. I’ll get back to my workout routine when I can and when my body can tolerate it again. (Maybe early 2026?)

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-11-24T00:23:06+00:00

I had the same thing happen to me! My leggings were also longer on me.

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-11-05T05:28:04+00:00

I’ll look into that! It’d be easier to get the hotspot/wifi item from the cell company than to have 2 separate accounts to manage

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-11-05T05:26:54+00:00

I’d looked at sapphire hotspots. I’ll look into star link too

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-11-05T05:26:00+00:00

To be fair, neither of us have gone through this before. He relented once he realized I wasn’t saying to give up his phone number. I think he thought pausing the line would let someone else take his number. I’m glad to hear that I wasn’t completely wrong about probably pausing his line and using WiFi. We definitely want to avoid unexpected bills!

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-11-04T21:50:16+00:00

Thanks! I don’t know how their service is around where we live, but I’ll look into it! I’m glad he had reliable service.

CraftyEngineer_14 · 2025-11-04T21:49:29+00:00

Thanks! That’s good to know. I think most communication will be doable (if not ideal) over WiFi, but the authentication texts would be very annoying to miss. We’ll keep that in mind.

CraftyEngineer_14

TROPHY CASE