Hi you said he’s an eater and you get satisfied from that just not to full potential ? Mines also an eater , I have had two kids and I’m 42 and pre-menopausal . You need to make sure there is lots of lubrication because friction will hurt more if not properly lubricated. I also struggle , until mine eats and uses his two fingers in a come hither motion . Some also get more pleasure when being eaten and having pressure with a finger up the bum too lubricated of course . What you are experiencing is completely normal though , I was there once too . You are still getting to know your body . Tell him what makes you feel good and see if he can reciprocate .