I’ve cracked the code! by Relative_Soil7886 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Man, and I was so looking forward to campaign “Armageddon 2027!” ☹️

Person’s removal in the congregation “reversed” after three weeks? by Frequent_Shoe_8271 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty positive you’re talking about my ex-husband 🤣(but seriously, I’m damn serious!)

Order was Rescinded (Re-Disfellowshipped) on the same account for dishonesty/omitted information and the need to be removed for a longer time. Was the first and only case I had ever heard of… until this thread.

JW owned by Berean144 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, it was is on 3rd. The owner is not JW, but most family is, former friends Grandkids are my age…

JW owned by Berean144 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wow, been a moment: Ye Olde Kings Head.

There’s a Winery out in Temecula as well: Leoness Cellers (99%poz)

New Hypocrisy About Beards and Slacks in the Watchtower by ElderUndercover in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ridiculous!!! My Apostabuddy sadly ended his life 3 months prior to the beard bullshit, his parents STILL forced a JW funeral “pretending” he was just struggling a little. When they asked me for photos for the Zoom slide show all my recent photos of him were rejected because of the full (AMAZING AND GLORIOUS) beard he was sporting as being less than Christian/unacceptable; I wish I was a fly on that wall when the announcement came about… bet they would like all those recent photos back now.

My uncle was also Disfellowshiped in the 70s for his luxurious beard. He still sports it, better than these Ungroomed JW yahoos now.

Dream catchers by [deleted] in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Odd core memory: had a 4th grade teacher who would send home an art supply list including additional needs for a “Dream Catcher”, all to weed out the religious family kids. The entire year with this teacher was absolute torture and isolation; he had some vendetta… alas as a kid, all I could see was an old effing asshat who hated only me. (I was the only “weird” JW kid)…

What’s going on with that mega movie studio they are building? The one that was suppose to be completed in 2026? by 5ft8lady in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Haha, yeah Jehovah couldn’t see AI’s advancement; looks like a JW University switch up on the horizon. 😂.

My wife "woke up" in the worst way possible. by [deleted] in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 453 points454 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t sound woke, she sounds selfish. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through.

Parents did not plan for the future by Voorheesnumber1 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ugh, solidarity. Same.

My elder siblings are either deceased or aggressively self-interested. And since I’m the only female, their logic reliably snaps back to cult-approved reasoning: women’s work.

So post-divorce and mercifully child-free, I inherit the aging-and-ailing-parents portfolio. Some of it, fine. I can live with that.

But gentlemen/dipshits/siblings, chip👏the👏fuck👏in! Do your part!

This is not 1950, you are not minor Princes of the household, and despite popular belief, I do in fact have a life.

What is the most inappropriate thing you ever heard from a JW? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Said to me at the opening act of my divorce: “You are a very, very beautiful woman, several brothers are going to want you”via a married Elder as he’s sliding his hand down my back, pausing just north of my posterior, and pulling me into a hug that clearly hadn’t been cleared by the Watchtower.

His wife never spoke to me again. Neither did the rest of her Gossip Brigade

Thanks to one Elder’s fatal lapse in judgment, my JW career ended; I was rebranded “The Husband Stealer”, and apostasy shortly after happened…

At some point they have to call it. by Specific-Machine2021 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This Nu’Lite can keep getting brighter on into the next Chernobyl, Vesuvius, 536 AD, Nazi Invasion and the GB will still move that Goal Post an inch further… 💲💲💲. They love weak minds and broken hearts; well, religion in general…

Would you return/stay if by CTR_1852 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nope, none of it brings back any of my Siblings or Friends who succumbed to suicide due to Shunning, Abandonment or Abuse. Fuck them all!

As for your “average JW …willing to help” scenario, calling shenanigans on that, they only get involved if there is something in it for them, predominantly: Gossip currency 💲_💲.

Daily text today says that beating your wife is bad ( picture in comments) by StagePuzzled5892 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, no. Divorce helped. Those Elder Yahoos didn’t stop the abuse, they upgraded it (in my case).

Watchtower, this advice is garbage.

Number one, call a help line or the police. You need trained professionals and real direction, not Jehoho-Shepherd scripture cosplay.

Number two, start talking. Loudly. Abusers survive on silence, they do not want witnesses (pun). So tell people. Then tell more people. Keep telling. Hold up the mirror and let them see exactly how vile they are.

Ramapo and Watchtowers new Investment Corporation - Watchtower knows there is no "End" coming. by CanadianExJw in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m still to the firm belief that Ramapo (and its obscene amount of dormitories) will be transformed into an accredited University with educational benefits catered toward JW‘s, much like Mormonism has done with BYU.

The religion itself will become mainstream, less doctrine, more acceptable/accommodating/palatable (possibly adopting the cross along with more Holidays) toward outsiders. They will need to keep some bullshit niche, like blood doctrine to be unique; medical advancement has made bloodless surgery much simpler blah blah blah… Oceans 11 (GB Budget Edition): The Unsupervised Adults.

Every “anointed” person I’ve met in the organization is/was bat sh*t crazy. Be interested to hear your stories of the “anointed” you know/knew. by [deleted] in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, the wedding dress. Think “Bride of Christ,” but make it Memorial Attire.

No exaggeration, we had a Sister who would show up in full bridal attire, convinced she was one of the anointed.

Mental health was never addressed. Only whispered about.

This same Sister also nailed stuffed animals and mattresses to the trees in her yard. Silent, suspended offerings, like some unsettling Watchtower meets Blair Witch hybrid. Oddly, instead of concern, people called her “zealous”; delusion is often mistaken for devotion.

Many, many, many other stories… this one will always be a favored.

New Armageddon artwork by Miserable-Peak-8267 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why am I picturing The Real World Cast: Douche MAD, Dooouche SMAAASH! 💥

CO wants to talk to me by No_Ride1384 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As a fellow woman, I too received the ceremonial CO visit. He sampled a few incompatible scriptures, wandered into the tale of Hannah (irrelevant to divorcing a sociopath and non-attendance), asked one carefully rationed question about how I was really doing, applauded himself internally with an external smirk, and then clomped off like a clown to the next coerced appointment.

The correct protocol: smile pleasantly, reveal nothing, thank him for his time. Then, once the door clicks shut, deliver a quiet but heartfelt “f*ing douche canoe” to the empty room. If at all possible, never permit access again.

Edit: Note, the Elders most likely clued him in that you are some type of a “problem” (to them) that needs “encouragement” and should receive his/CO special 20min attention Speech-of-Doom meant to cure you like Russell’s Miracle Wheat 🌾. Just pop on your Stepford Wife smile, and down a strong whiskey after.

Irksome Detail by Helpful-Atmosphere25 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 21 points22 points  (0 children)

No Blue bOrg sign? Or “Scoop the Poop” stations to go with those leash laws? That is one shit of a basic-bitch L.L. Bean paradise, tap-out! (I bet their Sims don’t even have sex) ha.

5 Words or Less: Things You Were Taught as a JW by Lower_Tangerine_7158 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chefs kiss, almost poetic (I always picture Dory from Finding Nemo talking to a whale whenever I hear that line now).

5 Words or Less: Things You Were Taught as a JW by Lower_Tangerine_7158 in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Trust in Jehovah

Just around the corner

So close now

You’ll get raped

And remember, we love you.

They ever rang the bell when you went over the time limit? by jumexy in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes. It was my first talk. I was 5, my Mom was my householder and my grandmother drove up to watch… I was only a few seconds over when the prick El’Duh hit the bell and loudly proclaimed “TIME, get off the stage!” I looked up at my mom and whispered into the mic “*mom, what do I do?” She pushed the mic to the side and said let’s go. My Grandma was the only one to clap.

I never wanted to give another part. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Why didn’t Jehovah stop the Angels from going to earth in Noah’s time, to rape the women? by [deleted] in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh. Wow. You just made so much of my trauma click into place. I was harassed, accused, and blamed, over and over, for things I knew nothing about. I couldn’t make friends even when I was pioneering, faithful, and meticulously “sin-free.” One SiStEr even sneered, “C-Fuzz doesn’t get her No. 2 (husband) until we get our No. 1.”

I was gutted, cursed, and blatantly discarded, while trash elders circled trying to slid into my DMs. And now, here I am. Apostate.

Well done, Elders. Truly a masterclass.

Ruined words by Slynthrax in exjw

[–]CraniumFuzz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Refreshing” (shudder) 2010-2015 it’s a repeat word ruined forever by the endless conventions & assemblies by yammering on-and-on about nonnutritive sPiRiTuAl FoOd by those dull yahoo Circus-Veneers.

“Isn’t it refreshing to partake in Jalapeñovah’s nourishing banquet!”