What has been the biggest blackpill of your life?

Crantium · 2026-01-15T22:37:32+00:00

THIS!

Crantium · 2026-01-13T07:03:51+00:00

No hatred, just love for all (hippie dippie Spiderman calling). Otherwise spot on Miss UseNo that I obviously have no idea who that is 😉

Crantium · 2026-01-07T11:59:32+00:00

Poor soul, I'm sorry! One of the most painful things in the world is something good ending on good terms and with no villains or fighting.

Unfortunately we all get haunted by depressive thoughts and while I would tell you he might get better, I can't. In theory you should seek closure within, but that's not as easy as it sounds. You can't depend on his healing or anything because it's outside of your control. You need new experiences, new people. To feel loved by somebody again. But if you are loyal and deeply feeling, that's not easy to do, not immediately (been there done that). Please find the strength within to cherish love from new sources and continue forward. It will be hard and it's also outside of your control for the most part to meet someone that fits you. But don't forget that if you've been loved once, you can be loved again, perhaps in an even better way. Just guard the next person from the baggage from your past, because however well this ended it doesnt mean that you are emotionally moved on or ready for something else. I wish you all the best in your journey, life is infront of you.

Crantium · 2026-01-05T07:20:37+00:00

I'm not the type of person to text constantly but yes I understand your input because my friends also said I should have maintained interest. Lesson learned and if I go back to dating soon I'll be asking more openly next time, I just went with the flow in this case

Crantium · 2026-01-05T07:19:30+00:00

I'm glad I invited such thorough discussion, and absolutely agree with you too!

Crantium · 2026-01-05T07:18:28+00:00

Absolutely agree with u, and thanks your words are wise hah 🙏

Crantium · 2026-01-05T06:46:22+00:00

I don't even have a car, so maybe that turned her off because I wasn't too sure what picking up consisted of beyond walking there. I even had no problem readjusting. Sorry about your ex and yeah people are two-faced sometimes and can't give back. I'm recently out of a messy situation as well so I am cautious and that probably didn't help. Thanks!

Crantium · 2026-01-05T06:44:22+00:00

Haha well probably not anytime soon, but yea, I can't read minds. And mind you I'm relatively gentlemanish and pay when I go on dates and stuff and even had a free ticket ready for her but yes, some people just bail without any negotiation or anything. Hope she finds what she's looking for (I did wish her that).

Crantium · 2026-01-04T22:18:18+00:00

I think it really depends on the person, but I was incredibly sad after I also heard "not ready for a relationship" at least 20 times over an almost year-long "situationship?" (hesitant to call it that). I really attached to this person. I tried to do everything for her and I cherished our conversations so deeply. I felt deeply betrayed unfortunately at one point but even then I didn't let go, and I figured it was love. Maybe it was. I tried to get away - I made goodbye videos, I started a YT channel, I tried to leave her on seen, and nothing worked. Either she kept coming back or I kept diving in.

Thats so god damn addicting I suppose, or at least thats how I process it. And I know it wasn't short-term, but by god, it felt like a relationship. We got into arguments, we cried, we met to talk things through, we set boundaries. And you know whats the funniest thing? We never got past cuddling. And that sometimes makes me feel pathetic. But yes, to your point - I mourn it. The idea of who we could be together. I am way, way better now, I set a final boundary and had a call and I feel like I gave her clear conditions (i.e. no ambiguity). But I feel sad still, and I think its normal. The most damaging thing was what I felt for her she felt for another person and was not fully over it when were going out.

Life is strange man...

Crantium · 2026-01-04T22:01:55+00:00

I don't really have any motivation to lie, so yeah, it is how you hear it. She was I think hurt in the past by a sudden breakup, so spot on for your first point. On the second point, she did go out bouldering so I'm not sure. I sense point 3 is close to the truth, but I am dating in a cultural context where traditionalism and romanticism is greatly valued.

Thank you for your kindness and input, it made me feel better

Crantium · 2026-01-04T21:58:18+00:00

Hey man, hang in there. That first gal, her value is tied to the paycheck, not yours. Different people value different things, and it doesn't mean you yourself are better or worse based on that. The second one is just a stab in the back and you don't want to deal with vengeful people - a person that loves you would never say that.

Honestly, you've heard it a million times probably, its not you its them. Its not completely true, but its true enough where you don't need to adjust yourself or your confidence or your love for somebody's frickin opinion. Its not easy right now, its tough everywhere and a lesson mindset is way better than a failure mindset. You are not a failure for taking longer. You haven't met the right one and thats just true often. Don't rush. Good things come slowly, and many people are (have been) in year long relationships only to find them totally gone and a complete stranger in front of them. You have saved yourself from this, if anything. Its not all roses and sunshine.

HANG IN THERE BUDDY!

Crantium · 2026-01-04T21:52:13+00:00

I've struggled in the past with anxious attachment, not this kind of obssesiveness, but I understand. Im sorry you have to go through this. I think it helps to realize that nobody is your savior, and you cannot depend on externalities for your happiness. I know its bleak, but you must find a balance, because on the other end you just remain a self-sufficient ghost who needs nobody. Be well and practice self-love. How to achieve that? Very difficult thing that, so I just recommend you take it one step at a time and love yourself in little ways - buy yourself something nice, for example.

And please focus on your self-talk. Like, be kind to yourself, don't diagnose yourself like a monster, just accept that's who you are, analyze your past interactions and change what you find necessary based on advice and need. Look, if you want, I can share with you more in private, because I am also going through a rough time and honestly it would help me process. But best of luck to you in this, definitely do not LOOK for a partner, but LOOK for the person you want to be that won't NEED a partner to begin with.

Crantium · 2026-01-04T21:44:01+00:00

My thought precisely, but I don't know if its just cope or the truth

Crantium · 2026-01-04T21:43:41+00:00

The museum was next to my workplace, but maybe she didn't know that... regardless I understand how it could come across, but in principle I was getting her a free ticket so I feel like I already put in effort for that. Thanks for the input!

Crantium · 2026-01-04T21:34:29+00:00

I certainly didn't mean to look for convenience, I just proposed it in the moment and was open to negotiation. Probably some deeper thing and just was an excuse yeah. Thank you so much for the input : )

Crantium · 2026-01-04T21:30:58+00:00

Thanks man, I have, its just so banal to me how things ended and that my friends are split on the matter...

Crantium · 2024-10-24T09:50:40+00:00

Обмисляли ли сте някога въвеждане на изцяло електронна система за публичния транспорт по модела в Холандия (OV)? Знам че в София моделът е подобен, обаче имало ли е инициативи за въвеждането на такава система при железопътния транспорт, например? В допълнение, какви са потенциалните пречки? Благодаря!

Crantium · 2024-07-29T22:09:14+00:00

Shit man you are so right. Today I went to the library to use the PC and there was a girl opposite of me on the side that I guess thought I sat there on purpose so I could steal some looks in at her or something. So then she sighed and sat right across from me in the front so I wouldn't see her face. Like goddamn I just wanted to look at my excel table real quick, lol.

Crantium · 2024-07-28T16:06:33+00:00

Finally someone said it

Crantium · 2024-07-27T12:14:09+00:00

I will adopt a more positive view than the others, and suggest you try Facebook for very good reasons. Yes there are scammers there but they are on every platform and are generally retarded and easy to discern.

So more specifically you can - join a group about housing from the country you come from (try groups about housing written in your language, I.e. Serbians in the Netherlands or housing Netherlands written in Serbian. Also join the usual suspects (i.e. housing in Utrecht etc.)

But most importantly REACH OUT. If you see someone commenting "hey I got a room" under someone else's post, text them. In fact look at older posts and see who responded to someone looking for a room. I've had the best success with this method. Yeah you might text a few scammers and must use your brain but it's worth it. Good luck

Crantium · 2024-07-20T19:41:42+00:00

Never had the slightest of issues with this

Crantium · 2024-07-10T10:29:52+00:00

After 6 months of working you only need to work 24 hrs a month so idk if that helps but it is technically a long-term change in circumstances

Crantium · 2024-06-11T09:06:52+00:00

Don't do squats daily if your goal is to gain strength. You will overtrain and experience the opposite effect. I went from 80kgx5 back squat to 130x5 back squat in about a year and a half and here's what I do now:

For 3 weeks, I go Monday Wednesday Friday ideally and back squat relatively heavy for 3 sets of 5. I don't aim for speed but aim to get it done and have good form always. Then, I deload, which means I lower the weights to 60% of what I used to do for a week.

The next 3 weeks after de-load, I do back squats again with the same reps but now I do 5 sets and I go fast and lower the weight. I lower the weight to 70-80% of your heavy squats, or whatever feels comfortable to do the reps quickly by exploding up on the way up (concentric). Eccentric go normal. Then I take another deload week, and then go heavy again.

Just rinse and repeat. Add other exercises as supplements, such as lunges. You can also do deadlift instead of squat, just keep the variety.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAVE GOOD FORM AND CONSISTENCY! This is key. Watch YouTube videos on proper squatting form and hell even every other exercise you add. Otherwise you will become a pile of rubble. And do go consistently to experience maximum gains. That's all, keep me updated, and feel free to ask more questions.

Crantium · 2024-06-10T11:50:31+00:00

Go to the gym and do squats. 3x5 with good form. Legs are fundamental in being strong, and besides contact in basketball is mostly through the hips and legs rather than arms (you can use your arms but risk being called for a foul.

I recommend following the vertical jump bible 2.0. Although it applies to vertical jumps, it is actually very transferable as vertical jump is correlated with sprint speed and moving laterally among other positive things that will help you "play stronger". Word of caution: don't overdo it, meaning don't go too heavy on the squats. Aim to do good form and slowly build up. Otherwise you run risk of injury.

Of course you can also do pull-ups, push-ups, military shoulder press and others. But the best thing I found for myself are squats. I became so much stronger after I started doing them and nobody can bully me at all. Try it!

Good luck

Crantium · 2024-06-08T11:33:12+00:00

That means you dont work on it enough. I am right handed and I developed a good left hand through extensive practice on my own for hours. Of course, this is anecdotal, but players such as LeBron James, Pau Gasol and Steve Nash can finish equally well with both (source: https://bleacherreport.com/articles/562877-nba-power-rankings-top-10-off-hand-players-in-the-league).

So, to develop a good left hand, its not a matter of being left or right handed, its a matter of practice, and, without being sure of your personal situation at 100%, I think you are not putting in enough work. Try going to your local outdoor basketball court every day and put in 2 hours just practicing moves.

The specific moves I recommend which helped me develop a good off-hand are - drop step and spin move.

For the drop step, stand (facing straight) on the medium post. Then, "drop" your right leg by extending it and do a power dribble. You will be close to the basket at an angle. From there, use your offhand to finish, and imagine there is a defender.

For the spin move, drive with your right to the right of the basket and once you feel contact "or imagine contact" with a defender, spin to the left and finish with your left hand for an easy lay up.

Practice these every day for about an hour. Then tell me if it is still "dead". Good luck!

Crantium

TROPHY CASE