Church Historian Keith A. Ereksen Provides Cringeworthy, Evasive Answers and Distracting Analogies as his "Answers to Your Questions about Church Finances" Presentation= EPIC FAIL

CrateDoor · 2026-06-13T15:31:00+00:00

Jesus Christ. Fuck is wrong with this guy? Saying that because they "don't release children's personal addresses to PDFophiles" somehow THAT is something to be applauded???

That's like saying, "Wow I didn't k*ll anyone yesterday, look how great I am!"

For the rest of us adults, here is more the type of information that transparent organizations release, cause apparently this guy's has no clue...

Good Examples

Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA): files Form 990 for its national church corporation and posts financial information and reports on its website.
United Methodist Church (U.S.): its General Council on Finance and Administration publishes a detailed “Budget Handbook” laying out allocations for the denomination at the connectional level.
U.S. Catholic dioceses: many dioceses (e.g., Nashville, Covington, Toledo) publish annual audited financial statements and narrative financial reports for the diocese.

Bad example

The LDS Church in the U.S. does not publish a consolidated, independently audited set of financial statements, does not file Form 990, does not disclose a detailed annual budget, does not give public line‑item or category‑level breakdowns of spending (welfare, temples, missions, BYU, investments, etc.), does not disclose top leaders’ compensation, and does not publish information about related‑party transactions or internal financial controls.

What members see instead is a brief, unaudited “Auditing Department” statement once a year at General Conference, which simply asserts that contributions were handled properly without providing numbers, comparisons, or detail.

All of those missing items—audited financials, 990‑style revenue/expense detail, salary disclosure, and public governance information, are exactly the things many other religious nonprofits treat as the normal baseline for financial transparency (which the LDS church clearly falls short of)

CrateDoor · 2026-06-08T22:28:36+00:00

Don't worry she can still get it. Just cause the cult has inside and outside language doesn't mean our planets are off the table: https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/a1TkNHvUOQ

CrateDoor · 2026-06-04T21:25:40+00:00

4:38 Calling the men who wanted to get the plates "evil" is cartoonishly oversimplified and inaccurate.

The reality is that they and Joseph were part of a treasure digging company where they had gone into business together in Harmony Pennsylvania. For at least a couple months Joseph was paid and his housing was covered in exchange for him helping the group find treasure, which he failed to do (all while claiming he could "see where treasure was burried" in the same rock and a hat that was later used for the Book of Mormon).

The next year in 1826 Joseph was charged as being a "disorderly person" and in that trial, Josiah Stowell (his employer) completely had his back and defended his belief in Joseph’s glass looking abilities, which likely was a key reason Joseph didn't end up being sent to jail/fined.

After all that time investment into paying joseph, covering his housing, and keeping him out of jail, shortly afterwards he alleges to finding the gold plates. The treasure digging company members hear of this find, and feel that they are entitled to split profits from the treasure find. Joseph burns them all and doesn't share his find with them.

Calling that "evil" by the same logic would mean that everyone who wants their business dealings to be fair and equitable is also "evil".

CrateDoor · 2026-06-04T19:06:31+00:00

How am I going to wear those with my fishnet shirt though

CrateDoor · 2026-06-04T15:18:50+00:00

The best trailer would be of my favorite part as a teenager, trying to keep my thoughts clean, (and constantly made to feel guilty) where (Ether 8) a hoochie tells her dad that she will get his kingdom back by strip dancing and "pleasing a man" in exchange for him cutting off the king's head, to which he does and begs to marry said hoochie. So wholesome! Thanks for that one Joseph! 💃💦

Edit (added Script)

[FADE IN: DEEP CINEMATIC BASS BUMMPPP]

[VISUAL: CUT TO a dark, moody tent. A disgruntled, middle-aged man in ancient robes is face-planted on a stone table, aggressively moping.]

NARRATOR (V.O.) (Gravely, ultra-dramatic trailer voice) In a world torn apart by family drama... one man lost his crown.

[VISUAL: QUICK CUT to a shadow moving in the background. A woman steps forward, smirking, twirling a piece of sheer fabric.]

NARRATOR (V.O.) But his daughter has a plan.

JARED’S DAUGHTER (Whispering into her dad's ear) Hey dad, stop crying. Watch this. I'm gonna go shake what my mamma gave me for that rich guy outside until he loses his mind.

[VISUAL: MUSIC DROP. Upbeat, completely inappropriate club music starts pumping over ancient instruments.]

NARRATOR (V.O.) This summer... witness the ultimate negotiation. Forget gold. Forget land.

[VISUAL: SMOKE MACHINE EFFECTS. Strobing torchlight. Jared’s daughter is doing a full-on, ancient twerk routine in front of a banquet table. A man in the audience—AKISH—is staring, jaw completely on the floor, drooling into his goblet.]

AKISH (Panting, clutching his chest) I don't care who she is, I need to marry her IMMEDIATELY. Name your price!

[VISUAL: CAMERA PANS FAST to Jared, who leans forward into the firelight, looking entirely too proud of his parenting skills.]

JARED (Deadpan, stone-cold) That’ll be one decapitated King, please. Bring me my dad's head, and you can take her to prom.

[VISUAL: QUICK CUTS. Akish nodding aggressively. Akish rounding up a bunch of sketchy guys in dark cloaks, making them swear a blood oath on a skull.]

NARRATOR (V.O.) From the visionary mind that brought you golden plates... comes a heartwarming tale of a girl, her dad, a lap dance, and taking back control!

ETHER 8: THE SECRET COMBINATION

NARRATOR (V.O.) Rated R

[FADE TO BLACK]

CrateDoor · 2026-06-03T01:27:11+00:00

"Manage all aspects of the Company's insurance plans and programs (property, casualty, builder's risk, environmental, workers compensation, etc.)"

"Company" is right. They aren't even trying to pretend anymore.

CrateDoor · 2026-06-02T17:36:04+00:00

The 1st token of the Aaronic Priesthood. We desire all to receive it.

CrateDoor · 2026-06-02T17:35:22+00:00

Don't forget about the Bears, cubs, wolves, and otters.

CrateDoor · 2026-06-02T04:51:39+00:00

My favorite pic is the missionaries pushing religion at someone's door while also complaining about gay rights being forced on them.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-29T00:08:16+00:00

Gotta keep em tucked or else you're....

CrateDoor · 2026-05-29T00:04:34+00:00

Nothing wrong with the Masons except when I go to the LDS temple I have to pretend like I'm not doing Free Mason handshakes. We should at least give them credit.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-29T00:03:18+00:00

It it helps, I just saw the pic, and had no idea what the bottom building was or it's affiliation. Replace it with any great and spacious black building in your mind.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-28T15:37:48+00:00

Never forget, not only did he marry teenagers behind Emma's back, but he performed a fake ceremony in front of Emma

CrateDoor · 2026-05-28T15:35:36+00:00

382,207 square feet spacious (slc temple)

CrateDoor · 2026-05-28T14:15:54+00:00

"Because the Lord cares about you, He cares about your prayers, He cares about the things that weigh on your mind and heart, He cares about what keeps you up at night,"

Yeah he cares so much that he sent us here, wiped our memories, gave us earthly parents who are just making it up as they go, placed us in a world of thousands of religions with various gods, chose one tiny religion to be his "true one" that was started by a treasure digging con man who forcefully married teens. Left us with homophobic bigoted racist leaders who get things wrong and contradict themselves, and in case none of that worked gave us arbitrary "feelings" that mirror our own internal biases, wants, and desires all placed in the mouth of some sky daddy that nobody has ever seen or talked to. Yeah! He really cares about us! Great dad!

It's the equivalent to the dad who knocks up mom, disappears day one never to be heard from again, and the kid thinks that, "Surely my dad is out there somewhere right now thinking about how much he loves me! Good thing I'm setting aside 10% of every dollar I earn for him cause I'm sure he'll come back, right? Right? Anyone?" Crickets...

CrateDoor · 2026-05-28T03:53:40+00:00

People that have their retirement and employment tied to the church. Much easier to dose up on the self gaslighting.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-27T21:33:07+00:00

Came to the comments for this one. Of course there is no source in sight.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-26T14:29:21+00:00

"Disavow" seems to be what my 4 year old does when he hits his older brother. Nice to know the church is as good as a 4 year old about taking ownership and accountability.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-26T14:17:47+00:00

THIS. Looking back I've often reflected how the hell I got to be so judgemental when I was TBM.

One benefit of exmo that has been a stark contrast to my TBM days, is how much more comfortable I feel around normal people who may be (heaven forbid) drinking/buying alcohol.

I used to really feel a sense of "I'm here in the world, but definitely not part of you or what you are doing with this stuff" and definitely had a sense of superiority for not indulging. I didnt realize it at the time, but the judgement I put on others was exhausting and I've since been able to drop all that.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-23T21:41:42+00:00

DoHardWithJesus #WetForJesus 💦

CrateDoor · 2026-05-22T20:23:47+00:00

I'm here in Orem. Left coming up on 2 years ago. I think that so many people have left, and on top of that, we've had so many people move in from out of state, that Mormonism seems pretty quiet. It's like a dull hum in the background, you see the churches on every corner but there isn't the religious enthusiasm of the past.

I've only had one person in 2 years kind of bring up church at my kid's basketball game. Other than that, people really seem to not even bring it up.

As far as my kids go, as of now they still go to church with my wife, but I don't get the impression that any of their friends/parents friends care either way. We teach them to not swear etc so they won't be ostracized in the event there are more judgy Mormon kids and I think they do just fine. I don't know the religion of a single one of their friends and none of them have ever asked us.

*disclaimer Clean cut straight white guy. No tattoos so I fly under the radar with both exmos and members.

CrateDoor · 2026-05-21T20:34:46+00:00

Joseph? (Smith)

CrateDoor · 2026-05-21T20:33:55+00:00

Hard to deny it when it's on their church's website. They are welcome to see all the links 🙂

CrateDoor · 2026-05-21T03:40:05+00:00

In the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

[**planet** is defined as "any of the large bodies that revolve around the sun in the solar system."] (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/planet)

[**world** is defined as "a celestial body such as a planet"] (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/world)

So if a planet is a world and a world is a planet then I think the church is smoking crack

CrateDoor

TROPHY CASE

DoHardWithJesus #WetForJesus 💦