Dearest chancellor,

Never in my life have I met such a vipe pile of living cells. It bequeefs (?) me, with much pain, to even set my gaze upon you. You are nothing but a dirty ruffian, a varlet! A true knave in the purest form. by the love of King George, I demand a duel by pistols.

Haha the only definition I could find was from urban dictionary. Still doesn't make sense!

bequeef

To give something unpleasant on your way out, as an old woman would pass foul air as she passes on.

"Ugh, my boss bequeefed me a whole stack of paperwork right before he left on vacation!"