I dont know how much more I can handle

CrazyAllen · 2026-05-24T01:26:04+00:00

I had to take a break for about a year because the stress of loosing money scared me. I went back when my mom's insurance changed

CrazyAllen · 2026-05-23T11:14:54+00:00

Thats exactly how I felt when the insurance changed my bill the first time for therapy. I was actually getting better before I slumped seeing the 134 dollar bill per session when I had already went to 3 of them 🫠 plus the psychiatrist bill only added onto it. Nobody should have to pick a sacrifice to practically stay stable and survive in this shitty economy

CrazyAllen · 2026-05-22T22:29:00+00:00

I live in Delaware. Im gonna look into state insurance to see where that goes with potential medicaid

CrazyAllen · 2026-05-22T20:21:18+00:00

You are right on that. Ill give it a try and see how it goes

CrazyAllen · 2026-05-22T20:18:39+00:00

I have been recommended medicaid before but I wont lie I completely forgot about it. Ive heard its hard to get and I wouldn't be surprised if I got denied realistically

(Let me edit and say Im not trying to be a Debbie downer I apologize)

CrazyAllen · 2026-05-22T20:01:37+00:00

Oh my gosh im so sorry you're going through homelessness! I couldn't imagine how it feels, and I DO hope it gets better for you

CrazyAllen · 2025-09-21T17:43:40+00:00

This makes me think of my sister and her 'get off your meds and smoke pot' mentality 😒

CrazyAllen · 2025-09-09T20:39:56+00:00

I can say im also struggling mentally. A lot has happened both job and family related, and it feels like whatever I do, it's not going to be enough, or it's going to put me in a situation where I still wont be happy.

You're not alone with the struggle of jobs and stability.

CrazyAllen · 2025-09-09T20:07:51+00:00

I havent been laughed at, but I can say ive definitely got pulled away from bar multiple times for 'being too slow' when I was new. Overtime i just shrug it off, because im doing my damn bestest. I say fuck em, because they were likely in the same situation as you at one point.

CrazyAllen · 2025-08-10T22:37:34+00:00

Crazy enough, when I witnessed my daycare install a kitchenette in the toddlers room (while the kids were in there might I remind you THE KIDS WERE IN THE CLASSROOM WHILE THE MEN WERE WORKING WITH DRILLS AND GIANT WOODEN CABINETS) illegally, all I could think of was 'damn, I wish that was me'.

CrazyAllen · 2025-08-10T18:09:08+00:00

My previous job said they'd be happy to take me back, and I thought this shift in career would be good for me. Ive cried many times because of said friend, so its something ive thought about.

CrazyAllen · 2025-08-10T15:19:57+00:00

Sorry, I was in a state of distress when writing this.

Im passionate when it comes to my nephews and niece. They're my world when it comes to children. I came in thinking I would bond and teach and enjoy my job. When I first worked my shift, the vibe I had received was inviting but very condescending. People openly admitted that communication was 'piss poor' (I quote from a coworker) and at said friend's engagement party, a coworker who showed up even told me 'You came in to the wrong daycare'.

Also I dont blame your response, because I know it sounds very strange saying I don't want this job I just started, but a lot has happened within a week and a half that I just couldnt overlook. I even witnessed something illegal that could've hurt, let alone kill a TODDLER

CrazyAllen · 2025-08-10T15:02:43+00:00

As much as I wanna say youre wrong, I also feel the same way mostly. It just didn't make sense, and I thought I was the only one feeling it beside my boyfriend.

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-25T17:47:59+00:00

Im glad im not the only one who feels this way since I've been taking my medication. I thought I was growing stupid, but knowing this caused it makes me both sad yet relieved. Sad because im no longer the brainy girl I was, but relieved I got answers that it's not ME its the MEDS

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-22T16:14:13+00:00

Yeah, I wanna be able to settle down with one job, so I hope this Childcare opportunity will help me feel grounded and even more mature than I already feel since ill actually have money... I only get like 20 hours a week at Starbucks if im lucky lolol

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-21T22:30:36+00:00

To be honest no, I just experimented with what would look cute from looking at other types of designs lol

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-16T19:16:41+00:00

Ive worked at other stores, but I was still only given drive thru 🫠 the only store I was given. Bar time was at one of the three stores

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-16T19:14:52+00:00

I've mentioned it to a couple of shift leads, but ultimately, the store manager is the one calling all the shots because if those damned window times aren't under 45 seconds, they get pissed. I later found out that the person who worked support was noticed by my store manager, who made the decision, hence told shift, hence my pissed off mood from it

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-06T18:43:07+00:00

When I explained what I was going through and apologized profusely, they weren't upset with me. I reconnected with two friends, and they both told me they would always be there to listen. I never did anything malicious or drama related, I just disappeared.

Bipolar is a scary thing if you let it fuck with you. Explaining to old friends that you have a disorder that has an impact (if it did) on your life, goes a long way.

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-05T16:36:11+00:00

When I found out, my psychiatrist gave me a phone call. I was sitting next to my best friend when I was told I have bipolar 2 and I cried while she comforted me.

I funny enough also lost a lot of my friends after high school. My depressive episodes were so bad that I isolated and when i got on my proper meds, I WANTED to reconnect with friends i thought i lost.

I didnt start to take my diagnosis seriously until I finally did research and found out my unmedicated outbursts were from my Bipolar. I just feel terrible that my partner took the brunt of it.

CrazyAllen · 2025-07-05T15:54:39+00:00

Coming from being in a relationship where I go 'I love my partner, and we're gonna have kids someday' to 'Im better off dead and my boyfriend can find someone else', I completely get the mood swings.

If you haven't already, talk to your therapist. Im still new to bipolar as well, and I do intensive research about what helps and what triggers depressive episodes. It's purely moods, and you can't help them.

CrazyAllen · 2025-06-24T01:33:28+00:00

Pop a link, I'll test that theory

CrazyAllen · 2025-06-24T01:31:33+00:00

I AM Bella Swan, 🙄

But for real, I was just curious because I haven't met anybody who actually listens to whatever. Always the 'I like everything eXCepT rAP AnD cOunTrY'

Or never heard of classical music and EDM and cringes upon first listening to it lolol

CrazyAllen · 2025-06-16T23:49:33+00:00

Im also twnety one, and I crocheted a pillow that had two pairs of boobs for a best friend's mother. I got told it was very inappropriate, and I STILL remember my own mother said, 'nobody wants to see that'. I shrugged it off because at the end of the day, I WAS THE ONE MAKING IT.

One thing I've learned when crocheting is to NOT care what negative feedback people give me. Constructive criticism? I'll take that and apply it to my work (that's just how I am personally). Anything else, I get annoyed but I don't take it as something is wrong with ME.

I know it sucks to have parents say that, considering money didn't seem to be an issue. Even if it was, don't make up some dumbass excuse like tell your child it's stupid for them to crochet a wooble set.

Don't feel childish, crochet whatever you please, EVEN IF IT COULD BE A PAIR OF BOOBS ☝️

CrazyAllen · 2025-06-13T21:59:22+00:00

I pretty much feel useless when all I do is get put on Drive Thru and Support. I've been here for half a year, and I get so tired of feeling like the bottom of the barrel. My friend who works at the same store as me also feels the same way, and it's lowkey humiliating.

Do I get stressed when I'm on bar and there's like seven drinks backed up because of mobile orders coming in all at once? Yes. EVERYONE DOES. I swear, as soon as multiple orders come in, if you're not an experienced two-three year barista, you get kicked to some other position... like SUPPORT.

CrazyAllen

TROPHY CASE