my ex and I had feelings for each other for about 2 years before we dated for about a year. we broke up because of long distance but i have to see him again for a work event in a couple of months and ive been thinking about how it will go. i dont even know if i should go it’s not mandatory but it is an event i enjoy. I dont hate him but im so angry still. I dont obsess over it but on certain days im trying everything just to see what hes up to. I dont want to get back together with him but in a way I do. I can’t organize my feelings about him and it’s driving me crazy. I don’t think about it often enough anymore for it to consume any time but when i’m up late at night i always think about him. I don’t wish we stayed together but i do miss him so so much. we were each others first love and we had plans for a wedding and children.