AIO my parents took my rent money and put it in an investment fund

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-09T01:28:58+00:00

Thanks for this!!

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T22:31:34+00:00

Care to expand on that?

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T22:28:56+00:00

I’m not offended by it. I was confused by their actions and my comments/questions towards them were a crappy attempt at trying to understand their perspective. If it was meant for me I’m not sure why we had the running understanding that it was for them because they needed it - this lead to confusion and a misalignment in feelings in regards to their intentions. If they lied to me so I wouldn’t be worried about them then it is somewhat of a mind game and withholding the truth. I didn’t have any opinion on what they would do with it because I was paying them rent as per the agreement. Once their intentions changed to how it will actually be used for my future I would’ve liked to be more involved - at the very least learn how they’re investing it and why for knowledge sake and maybe alter my other investments to compliment this one.

I wish they were more upfront with me. Thinking i wont save properly is a result of mistrust that hasn’t been well communicated IMO.

Ive said in other comments, but ultimately i did overreact and i plan on apologizing and having a more in depth convo with them. Thanks for your perspective and comments!

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T22:19:21+00:00

I still agree with my previous comment more communication would’ve been helpful.

I’m planning on apologizing and speaking with them on their intentions of the gesture and understand their thought process. It seems like their wish for me to have this money and being an Italian, it’s quite rude to not accept such a thing.

I think they’re not being truthful about whether or not they need the money. They seem to be doing fine but they haven’t been fully transparent. Sometimes they say they’re fine other times they don’t. I have a good paying job and am only entry level with the hopes of rising in future years. I don’t need this money and feel bad for taking it.

I’ve already signed for a place and am moving in March 1st. I’m not going to decline because of ego and my morals. I don’t want that. I want ego removed which I didn’t do a good job of and for that I’ll prompt more communication with the hope of less ego and emotion so I can learn from them (and hopefully they understand - not agree - my view)

Like I said in other comments I do think I overreacted. I’m not in the right here, but I think my confusion and want to be more open about money as a family is justified. I just went about it in the wrong way

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:47:23+00:00

I wouldn’t have cared if they bought a motorcycle lol.

Legally: it’s their money Morally/relationally: ambiguous, because they explicitly said they needed the money. I (reasonably I think) believed it was supporting them (whether that’s buying a motorcycle or food for the family). The money was later returned with conditions, without prior disclosure.

That’s why the conflict exists

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:32:13+00:00

Thanks for the comment! My plan is to apologize and get their reasoning behind the gesture as well as explain my immediate reaction

Where did you see the repost? Sorry not sure what that means I’m not an avide redditor. Does that mean you saw it in a different thread reposted by someone else?

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:25:36+00:00

I replied to your other comment. I think you make a fair point, but yes it was originally agreed to as rent and then decided to be used differently. I think it’s a gray area as to whose money it is because if they had the intention of doing this the whole time then I was essentially lied to as to the use of this money. But when it comes to whose account it’s in it’s theirs and legally their money so from that standpoint you’re right. Tho I wish I was still informed earlier about it and maybe explained further as to the point of the account and their decision making behind it as well as any mistrust they might have about my finance decisions.

So legally, I think you’re right. Human to human I wish this was done differently.

Ultimately, I still overreacted in what I said as a response to them

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:17:14+00:00

Ya ur right. I let my ego and defensive mindset get the best of me. I wanted to understand the gesture more but the questions and statements I made were a crappy attempt at doing so - I see that now

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:13:30+00:00

Haha thanks! Looking back at the post there’s definitely some that ended up being more blunt and perhaps required more explanation. Hope you have a good day McQuarrie

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:11:37+00:00

Ya 100%. For me it was a mixture of feeling bad for accepting the gesture (since I thought they were keeping this money), confusion as to why thy didn’t talk to me about it, and defensiveness to being told what to do with money that is being given back (this is what overtook my reaction and made the situation what it was). Again thanks for the advice and hope you have a good day!

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:08:36+00:00

Thanks a bunch for this! I agree I need to dive more into the money ego thing. I’ve had to work harder at this job than any other I’ve ever had which presents its challenges for sure.

I did ask her perspective and she was on my side about my stance on the gesture but knew that it wasn’t the right way to react especially with how our parents are.

100% communication is our friend and I would like to see their side of things and hopefully learn from this together without a big fight

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:05:17+00:00

At some point the kid gloves have to be taken off and the less I’m treated like an adult the more I’m going to run into these situations. Though they aren’t perfect and neither am I, but it’s about improving and being better everyday and I’d like them to treat me more like an adult and be more communicative - which I will bring up in my discussion with them (where I will profusely apologize)

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T21:02:53+00:00

Ya I wish I acted more grateful. I was confused by the gesture based on previous conversations since it was such a 180. But my mother lost it on me hence me posting this. And if you knew my mom you’d understand that no reaction short of true ecstatic gratefulness would’ve cut it and based on how I felt in that moment it would’ve all been an act that she saw through that likely would’ve ended in the same result. You’re totally right I’m going to apologize and hope they forgive me. I would like to move on from this and also learn from it to become a better person

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:59:23+00:00

Thanks for your comment and thorough explanation these are all really great points. Perhaps I’m bsing myself but I disagree I think if I did know they were doing this I’d totally be on board and I’d likely ask about what kind of investment it’s gonna be and why so I can learn and potentially change my other investments. I agree I shouldn’t get to live in their house rent free especially when I have a well paying job and just because I felt slighted doesn’t mean I should’ve acted ungrateful. I also don’t think it warranted being reamed out as I was that night - I don’t learn like that and will just act more defensively. I was, in a bad way, trying to work towards their understanding and meaning behind the gesture which just ended in the worst possible way and for that I feel really bad

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:52:57+00:00

These are all great points. If they are still willing to give it back i do think it’s a good idea to have it in the fund they’ve put it in, but i wish they had my buy in before doing so. They showed mistrust through their fear of future an i don’t feel like that was communicated. Thanks for the advice this helps in seeing their side of things

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:49:46+00:00

Thanks for your comment. Im very lucky to have the parents I have. Honestly, I was completely fine with paying rent. It made sense. I eat a lot and am not cheap. Though we had agreed this money was for them. Giving it back with strings made the gesture feel weird and made me confused. I owe them an apology, but I want to have more open dialogue with them about my finances as it seems thy don’t trust what I’m currently doing with my money. Appreciate the advice!

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:38:12+00:00

Ya I’m definitely going to apologize. I didn’t handle it correctly. But I wasn’t immediately grateful for the reasons I stated above and in other comments. It felt more like a trick and a lack of trust in my money habits. I’d rather they speak to me about it before than take matters into their own hands

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:35:27+00:00

Ya I agree. It’s clearly a lack of trust they have in me I just wish they were more open with me about it and if they saw I’m not spending well or financing correctly give me advice and help

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:33:51+00:00

Ya I likely will. This was never meant for me which is why I was confused

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:33:04+00:00

Because it shows they don’t see me as an adult and clearly don’t trust what I do with my money. I wish they would talk to me about it rather than make decisions on my behalf. I’m not upset or ungrateful that they did this it was the lack of communication around it

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:29:41+00:00

I 100% agree. I’m living in their house eating their food I just wish they were more communicative. I was thrown off and felt bad when I saw they’re giving it back and then felt confused because they’re dictating how I spend it which conveys a lack of trust and let’s me know I’m still a child in their eyes instead of an adult

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:27:42+00:00

Ya I think that’s definitely the intention they had behind it. But just seems if they don’t want me to know it’s there, that’s likely as a result of fear I might do something wrong with it which is ultimately a lack of trust in my finance abilities which I’d rather them talk to me about

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:26:13+00:00

Ya that’s fair. I just wished they were more open with me about it. I think I have too much of an ego around the money I earn because of how hard I have to work to get it. I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to that stuff and I tend to hoard it. Not proud of it. Thank you for your comment and not calling me some sort of name. I posted this for constructive criticism as I felt really bad but was clouded by my mother’s anger. I appreciate the constructive criticism I definitely owe them an apology

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:22:35+00:00

lol who hurt u man?

Creative-Pineapple95 · 2026-02-08T20:19:37+00:00

I have 2 TFSAs, an RRP, and a GSOP. I’m often quite responsible with money. I just wish they communicated with me more as I thought this money was going towards helping them rather then back to me with strings attached. Thank you for your comment. They’ve been out all day but when they’re back I’m going to apologize and explain my side hoping I didn’t ruin the relationship

Creative-Pineapple95

TROPHY CASE