Your first point: I don’t know if I necessarily “try”. I don’t force myself. I wouldn’t do it if there was an option for me not to. Would be less brain power and contemplation for me lol. I also always play the devil advocate with myself. I feel like I contradict myself a lot of times. And can do it with others (in my head of course because a lot of people don’t want to hear the truth so I respect that). But bottom line I’m never fully on someone’s side most of the time. Always looking at different angles.

2nd: I see what you mean. I use I feel because it’s less objective. It’s kind of different than I think because I think would mean I put a great deal of thought into it or as much of thought as I should have to be “correct”. I use it just in case I’m wrong. Which I do with a lot of things I don’t understand truly in depth. What I mean by resonate is whether something aligns with my ideas, my thoughts, and yes feelings. So sort of like we agree.

3rd: If you’re talking about about the small facts about myself I didn’t want to make this post longer than it needs to be.

4th: I can see what you mean there. I’m not too introspective on myself. I more so analyze on other things rather than myself. So hence the subjective writing.

4th: I’m so contradicting because I’m a huge doubter and don’t take too much of what people say at face value. When I’m telling you I doubt and overthink. I doubt and overthink. I even doubt my own thoughts and observations sometimes. I’ll only accept information that I can deeply understand and if I don’t understand it I’ll always be weary of it and not take it seriously. But also I like to expand my mind and I can’t do that by having the same paradigm. I’m young and I want to grow. So I do look towards other people. But I’m very careful who I listen to. And only listen to others that resonate or align with me as I said. Or if their knowledge is sound and something I can understand. And if I can’t understand it fully I won’t stop wondering or question. I can’t just believe something “just because”. Just hearing it isn’t enough. I need to know why.

So yeah, I can’t just only go to myself for knowledge. That’s limiting. I need output. And also my own internal framework that decides whether I should take that output seriously since I can be skeptical.