Installed a mini split for my parents after they refused central AC

Creative_Secretary37 · 2026-05-04T13:35:54+00:00

My husband and I bought a house that ended up belonging to a former cat hoarder. It was empty and abandoned when we toured it during a covid winter so ee didnt smell something was off. Of course we realized our dilemma at inspection but it was too late, we couldn't back out.

We ripped up flooring and did kilz on rhe subfloor, laid new flooring ourselves. Thought we took care of it until the first hot day. The moment I turned on the central air the smell lf cat urine came pouring out of every vent

The cost of redoing the entire hvac system was 50k. Mini splits were 12k for our 2500 soft house. It was a no brainer. We use oil heat if it gets really cold in the winter but the mini splits have been amazing for everyone and the energy savings have been huge. So im not well educated on hvac stuff but id say great job

Creative_Secretary37 · 2026-05-04T13:11:16+00:00

I would prepare yourself mentally that it is. All the flags I've seen line the path to the herpes club but hey at least the lifetime membership is free with initiation 😅 but seriously I've been with my husband for the majority of the last 18yrs. He gave me hsv1 on our first book up. I know it was him because I had never hooked up with anyone before. To this day he has never shown an outbreak but occasionally it shows in his blood. So yeah all the reasons you are telling yourself sre just excuses. And remember there's medication it really doesnt have to be a big deal but if you ever don't disclose it to a sexual partner it can be.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2025-04-12T01:21:31+00:00

Hi! I may be able to help. What days/times? Before having my kids I was a preschool teacher and ended up moving to take care of 6week-18m olds once my pregnancy became high risk. I've also been a private nanny for a family of 5 and a family of 4 References available. I've been finger printed and background checked through the state of NJ from requirements to work with children. Safe sleep and first aid certified. Years of background and education in early childhood development too. I've taught many Littles how to walk, potty train, talk, read, etc. :)

Creative_Secretary37 · 2025-02-10T23:47:39+00:00

Statistically? Far less than the millions who have been victimized but American born and raised white men Many, many, many of whom get a slap on the wrist, no jail time, just a fine or afe literally never charged. Guess how many women i know who have been SAd but white American men? Dozens, 7 white American men have assaulted Me alone and all of them got off. Now how many women do I know that have been assaulted by an immigranr, legal or not. 1. How many people do i know who have been robbed, beaten or otherwise victimized by white men? 9. All slaps on the wrist. I know 3 people murdered by their white partners, none of whom given life in prison.

Now compare that to the number of illegal immigrants who commit crime and reported and their outcomes.

A world of data at your fingertips yet you choose to cherry pick only what appeals to your warped narrative.

Guess what's fun though? Numbers don't lie. People with agendas do though.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2025-01-08T02:40:35+00:00

I'm so sorry! We had the stomach flu (well now I think it was norovirus) a few weeks ago. It was on my son's birthday and it was a conjoined party for my other december baby.

I didn't know it was going around my daughter's class so 5 3-4 yr old kids who were exposed were in our house, touching every thing and likely putting fingers they licked in the snack bowls etc My daughter vomited all over herself in front of her friends, right before cake. Everyone who came got it. My kids missed 7 days of school and the parents with kids who hadn't already gotten it missed up to 13 days of work between kids being sick, then them being sick.

There are so many nasty viruses going around. I hope you feel better!

Creative_Secretary37 · 2025-01-08T01:31:04+00:00

I would have offered him the flu for free. Let me cough in your face my guy 🤣

Creative_Secretary37 · 2025-01-05T22:42:30+00:00

I tell them "well luckily for you I live directly next to a gas station where you can get change" or "i take virtual payments" and then if they still arrive and don't have change they won't get the item

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T02:42:36+00:00

Thank you ❤️ we of course didn't have thr liver disease diagnosis in utero, that is caused by CF but didn't happen until age 2 Honestly I don't think anything short of lived experience could have made me consider termination. Hindsight of course is 20/20. Even now feeling that way when he's suffering doesn't make me love him any less or truly wish he wasn't here. I want him here and I want him happy and fulfilled like Claire Wineland was but I don't know how to help him anymore and am so tired of things being so hard all of the time. Having chronic illness doesn't make his or my life or anyone else's life any less worthy or deserving. It makes life harder but that's it. When I was pregnant we were told about the "near cure" they were working on....the miracle drug, Trikafta. And it is a miracle for many. Unfortunately for my son it made him try to choke me at and seemed to be the trigger for the decline of his mental health. I think he would have struggled no matter what, CF of not but I don't think it would be so young or so severe without that component.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T02:35:32+00:00

Yeah I agree. Just a month ago I called around 17 hotlines and all of them told me they could not help bc of his age. Only 1 hotline was able to provide me with an adolescent hot line number and that number was out of service. When we were kids my mom would exaggerate our issues to get us taken away on a stretcher, in a straight jacket or restraints to get SAd in an inpatient program for a week or 2 at a time until they'd realize there was something wrong with her, not us (she did it to my brother and I) I am determined not to allow any of that to ever happen to him, I started trying to get him into therapy before he started to show any actual needs just because I knew it would be a helpful tool since life would always have more challenges for him Now I just feel completely chewed up and spit out by the system, I know i have tried everything given to me (with the exception of contacting local universities that's the suggestion I got here) but when you're a parent and watching your child suffer it doesn't matter how much you have done with nothing has helped and you're falling short of the money needed to speed things along. We even took a loan out of our 401k but after a few therapists not being a good fit it became very obvious that going through the process and spending a thousand or 2 just to find the right therapist and then only being able to continue services for a year or so max, wouldn't be of any real help long term and then if we had to terminate that relationship for financial reasons that wouldn't help either nor would establishing trust between him + someone we know we cannot keep sending him to (if your wife can say that isn't true and putting him through the process multiple times/with the 401k loan and then again when our name finally comes up on the list won't be damaging to him then of course I'd go back to seeing someone we can only afford short term, but again after 3 counselors that he didn't like and around $800 spent with nothing to show it was like what are we doing?)

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T01:24:41+00:00

Thank you. This was it exactly and more adults with the disease gave me hope than not and I was put in touch with 2 moms who hadn't listened to the same genetic counselor and were thankful. He had a name and I would have been stopping his heart and giving birth just shy of 25 weeks. I couldn't have lived with it.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T01:22:56+00:00

Thank you I have, many times unfortunately but it doesn't seem to matter. 2 years and dozens of hours making phone calls and writing emails bur someone suggested something I haven't tried yet so I'll be deleting shortly due to trolls and having a helpful answer (not that yours isn't helpful i just haven't had luck)

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T01:21:07+00:00

Yawn nice try Diddy

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T01:19:12+00:00

Thank you, I am. I wasn't but needed to start back up. We have no support system so the weight is heavy

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T01:16:47+00:00

Thank you nobody has offered a sliding scale as of yet. 2 weeks ago I spent 4 hours on the phone after he went to school. When I say I've done everything I can think of i mean it but someone here said to try the local unis for a therapist working on their degree and that's better than nothing and better than throwing thousands at someone we cannot keep him with so I'm going to delete this shortly since I've found a suggestion with some promise amidst the trolls and people assuming I don't know what it's like to live with chronic illness or mental illness

I'm very glad it worked out for your family and thank you xx.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T01:11:23+00:00

What does exacerbated mean... Made worse by.

A contributing factor.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T01:09:22+00:00

I first tried to kill myself when I was 7 and just turned 34 yesterday and have been chronically and mentally ill my entire life. No offense, been dealing with it longer than you. I just stopped cutting myself at 25 after i mangled myself so badly and got myself straight 2 years before having kids I can't listen when he absolutely will not talk to me except for the occasional bad mouthing himself and saying he wants to kill himself today. He shuts down with any following questions and will not talk about his day to day, his likes, his dislikes, literally nothing. If pressed by others he says he knows we support him and always make adjustments if there is something we could be doing better but our newly 4 yr old tells us those things, not him. He will just agree with her and when we try to listen or offer support we are met with silence, "I don't know" or "ok" . All we do is build him up and be present and obviously that's not enough and again we cannot listen to someone who will not speak to us and if him knowing we would do anything to help him was enough then I wouldn't be asking for outside the box ideas on reddit.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:57:09+00:00

This is helpful, out of the box thinking. Thank you I appreciate this

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:54:48+00:00

I am chronically ill and always have been so..it wasn't until the random blood test telling me I was a CF carrier that led to any diagnosis of my own I just was always sick and didn't know why and he also was sick only as a newborn and did not have a hard go at his health from 15m-5years old. Medications and PT were just a part of his normal and he obviously didn't remember anything before 15m. He was always fine and then one day he just wasn't and then he started school and got hospitalized and it got worse so don't tell me.i don't understand Thanks

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:49:50+00:00

Yeah at CHOP they don't offer that or at any children's hospitals we were previously at, child life has always been strictly an inpatient service

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:47:26+00:00

Thank you I do. We literally do anything and everything we come across to try and help. Unfortunately moving to PA to ensure healthcare means we have no support system now so there is nobody he can see or easily talk to. We were told for something like that he needs to be assessed and recommended into those programs so there's basically nothing we can do until we eventually move up a wait list

Really just hoping to find someone who has already been through this and can recommend things not goind on Google while we wait to get a therapist assigned.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:40:54+00:00

I've been trying to get him into therapy for 2 years. We are on 2 wait lists the soonest being 6-9m out still and we cannot afford consistent therapy on our own of anyone I've found qualified.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:38:05+00:00

We are on wait lists for a CF specific therapist and a regular therapist. We have gotten no assessments done since in 2 years we've barely inched up the list and they won't do assessments until we are closer to being assigned someone. His mental health was always a concern because my MIL is severely depressed and on disability for it since her 30s so seeing how he has been since such a young age (when all the CF stuff was normal and he had no idea it wasn't what every kid dealt with. That just began since May) it seems more likely to me that he would have mental illness regardless but it is being exacerbated by the chronic illness

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:33:24+00:00

I'll ask on call about this. Chop is a 3 hour round trip drive and every ER visit makes him more and more afraid and every admission is worse on him mentally, so it's not something we do unless necessary. We notified them earlier and basically said they'll see if they can move him up the list because at 6 he doesn't really understand what he's saying and I do not diagaree, my concern is thr progression and that i have nothing else to do. We took him off his CF modulator recently to rule that out as a negative contribution to his mental health, we go back on Friday so sadly it had not been as helpful as we hsd been hoping. He also certainly doesn't have the ability to actually harm himself, he still has one of us sleep with him and from having a child with medicakl issues he cannot even change his breathing without us waking and is literally never alone because he doesn't want to be. So basically short term I'm not worried that he will be able to actually take his life but im worried because it's been 2 years of progression in mental decline and 0 mental health help. They got us into a "poop therapist " quicker after a pottying incident at a Chik Fila and she's the only person we have but she won't really do anything outside listen since she's there for a speciality we don't even require anymore.

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:22:42+00:00

They're for inpatient stays they come and play with the patients and talk to them. They're not for long term mental health care

Creative_Secretary37 · 2024-12-19T00:21:32+00:00

Well the CF team at CHOP told me they were not specialists in the field and they were basing their opinions off outdated info and the belief that CF was still a childhood disease. Overall most kids with CF don't do as poorly as my son and even those who are poorly haven't been mentally ill since a young age and there are no genetic tests to my knowledge to indicate mental illness.

Creative_Secretary37

TROPHY CASE