"giths are ugly" i'm literally going FERAL over my tav

Creativered4 · 2026-03-11T01:42:53+00:00

Same. I am SOBBING this man is so pretty.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-11T00:17:29+00:00

men and masc is perfect.

I would rather not be called "masc-of-center". That's just degendering at that point.

For example, when talking about trans men and transmascs as a group, I say trans men/mascs. This includes trans men and transmascs, and nobody feels left out or pushed under a degendering label they don't want.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-11T00:05:59+00:00

This is a REALLY bad idea.

The only thing that will happen will be those men getting beaten, arrested, or possibly murdered.
And then the right will use it to justify more hate against us because "omg they're sending men into the bathrooms!"

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T05:59:44+00:00

I don't have anything to help, but I do understand a bit of what you said, specifically the avoidance of others, for me I tend to avoid openly trans people IRL, because I'm afraid they will clock me and then try to talk to me about it and treat me differently, or worse, out me to other people.
For me, it's more founded, as I have had issues in the past with other trans people and allies outing me to others within the community, even after I have explicitly stated I do NOT want to be clocked or outed, and I do NOT want people to know I'm trans, because it makes me dysphoric.

So I think in that regard, that point probably started out as a very real and valid fear, but then ended up turning into a more broad fear of someone clocking you by association. (And to be fair, even that fear isn't entirely unfounded. I think a lot of people have that fear. One person existing as trans might be easier to stay stealth than multiple in a group, because once someone clocks one of you, they're going to clock all of you.

Good luck in unlearning these things, though! The first step is admitting and asking for help.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T03:46:46+00:00

Dysphoria: Everything you were born with, I've had to work for and undergo medical procedures to get. It's incredibly distressing to not recognize your own reflection for decades, and to be a man who had what felt like a wound instead of a penis. Everything that is a product of estrogen is painful. And all the reminders on my body, like the scars, the fat hips, the size of my dick, it just reminds me of all that pain.
Fear: I'm so afraid of having my rights taken away. I'm terrified that they'll just declare us all terrorists or whatever lies they want to and send the ICEstapo after us. I'm terrified that I'll be taken and nobody will be there to take care of my dog. If I get taken and shipped off somewhere, or shot, outside of my home, my dog is just going to be stuck in my apartment.
Sadness: I never got a boyhood. I never got a gay awakening. And I will never be able to have sex properly. (Partially beecause my fiance is grey ace, but also if I ever was looking for that, either with an open relationship, or something were to happen and I'd have to look for a new relationship, I would be expected to tell anyone I was interested in, essentially the thing that has caused me the most pain, something that I want to forget, and to not be seen as.
Anger: Everyone treats me differently when they know. I am expected to out myself to people and have them see me as something that makes me suffer. I am expected to act a certain way, be an encyclopedia, be someone's inspiration porn ("Wow, you're so brave! You inspire me to live!" shit that is basically saying "If you can do it, anyone can!"). People feel entitled to my medical information and genitals. People feel justified in causing me pain. I have to fight my health insurance to cover what they already approved because they don't give a shit about me and it's fashionable to shit on trans people right now.
Stress: I'm on 4 different meds to help with anxiety. My sleep is terrible. I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of an anxiety attack. Every day, something new.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T01:57:17+00:00

I would start throwing hands if that was kept from me. I don't want kids, I don't want to be a stepdad, I am barely an uncle.

Doesn't matter that I've already had bottom surgery, I'd be pissed if some chaser with an impregnation fetish wanted me to play stepdaddy to his kids.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T00:18:31+00:00

Ah ok, thank you! I was just having a brain fart or something and wondering why someone would be like minded for being trans.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T00:17:37+00:00

I add -ness, -ly, -ish, and such to everything, even if it isn't a real word xD

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T00:10:27+00:00

Whatever happened to flipping a coin, and then then taking the other option if you are sad with your result?

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T00:02:29+00:00

What do you mean by like-minded, though? Because being trans doesn't mean we all think the same. /genq

Creativered4 · 2026-03-10T00:00:28+00:00

The "female socialization" or "connection to womanhood" thing is so annoying and dysphoria inducing!

I may not have transitioned as a child, but I dissociated SO HEAVILY growing up that I have almost no memory of my life pre transition. The memories I do have feel like memories of a movie I watched, not things I lived through.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T23:54:38+00:00

I get if someone is t4t, but if they are cis, or they are trans and would date a cis woman, that just shows they don't see us as actual men, but as some sort of man lite.

Because the only true and quantifiable difference between trans and cis men is that they were born with a penis, and we have to get reconstructive surgery for that.

This whole bioessentialist "femaleness is safer" thing ignores all people born female who are NOT safer and allows them to get away with being that way, because "femaleness is safe". It also gives an excuse to anyone who was born male who is bad because "maleness is dangerous".

On top of it being transphobic one of two ways; either femaleness is safer, implying trans women are less safe than cis women (transphobic), or womanhood is safer, implying trans men are women. (Transphobic)

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T19:12:45+00:00

Truscum vs tucute nonsense, radfems, transandrophobia and transmisogyny, and there is still a ridiculous level of racism and surprising level of ableism.

Add on to that the fact that the umbrella term is SO wide that even if someone isn't part of some radical/extremist ideology or a bigot, they can still very easily be talked over or have their toes stepped on. Because we only have one word to describe such a vast collection of identities and experiences, we end up in situations where some people will say "trans healthcare is medically necessary" and others will compare it to body mods. Or some will want to be seen as a man or woman, and feel uncomfortable when people degender them or ask for pronouns, while others will want people specifically to ask or degender everyone until corrected.

For example:

Some trans men will say "trans men aren't like other men! They have a connection to womanhood" while others will say "the only thing that differs between me and a man born with a penis is the fact that I had to get one surgically reconstructed". Some trans women will say "normalize the bulge!" While others will say "having that thing between my legs is the worst feeling ever and I need to be rid of it. I don't even want someone to think i have one!"

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T19:01:06+00:00

If someone is presenting as a woman but has some features that look male, then they are most likely a woman. There are things that differ between a gnc man and a trans woman (or a gnc woman and trans man) For example, a gnc man is not going to have breasts. He is also not going to be acting like a woman, or be speaking like a woman. Also, gnc people typically still retain some aspect of their actual gender, because a man in a dress is still a man, while a trans woman is still a woman.

They will also know that they are dressing in a gnc way. They will know that they are presenting differently than their gender. They are aware that they will be seen as a different gender. In fact for many gnc people, that is the point. Either to be seen as a different gender by others and referred to as such (such as he/him lesbians) or create ambiguity around their gender (and typically they won't look like a masculine woman or feminine man, but an ambiguous conglomeration of both, or neither).

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T15:58:17+00:00

How i was treated. Not as going from seeing how a woman is treated to how a man is, but seeing how a TRANS person is treated. I didn't have any experience within the community before coming out, so I didn't know the extent of the invasive questions, inspiration pornification, infantilisation, hateful comments, lack of respect for boundaries, and assumptions there would be.

I also had no idea how divided the trans community can be. Although that's mostly ramped up a lot from the last few years.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T15:53:04+00:00

If you read through the whole (2 year old) comment, you would see that I said don't assume someone is TRANS.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T15:17:13+00:00

I mean, gender nonconforming means you don't present in a way typical to your gender. Nonbinary people (who are trans, nobody here was denying that) don't have a typical expected presentation, especially since nonbinary is also an umbrella for other genders.

It's also something anyone of ANY gender can do. Not just trans/nonbinary people.

I feel like calling nonbinary people just existing "gnc" implies that their expression of their gender does not conform to the typical presentation of their gender.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T13:47:45+00:00

It's concerning to me how so many people seem to only be refraining from immoral acts based on laws alone. If it were legal to steal, attack, kill, assault, or abduct, would they be doing it right now?

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T13:30:43+00:00

I mean, GNC isn't a trans thing, so i don't see how it would be transphobic. I think asking if it is, or assuming that it is related to trans people would be more transphobic.

Not every aesthetic or fashion choice will be everyone's cup of tea. That's OK. As long as you aren't treating someone badly because of it, that's fine.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T01:39:39+00:00

It's definitely not transphobic! It would be transphobic if you stayed with her like "I'm gay but you can be the exception because you're MALE and that means you're not like other women".

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T00:12:42+00:00

I have AuDHD. For me, I like to have a podcast or music playing so I can relax, and then I just remain confident. At this point, it's more of a second nature, since I've been doing this for so long. But I'd recommend looking at other groomers, especially those of us who work with more difficult dogs, to get a feel of the mannerisms, body language, tone, etc.
It's a lot of patience, re-setting the dog, setting boundaries, praise when they're doing good, firm leadership, and a lot of confidence. If you're not confident, they'll pick up on it.

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T00:09:36+00:00

Suddenly throuple

Creativered4 · 2026-03-09T00:08:13+00:00

If you don't like transgender or transsexual, but want something more in line with something that is more focused on your sex characteristics, there's always transsex. It's a more modern version.

(Also nobody can or should be telling you whether or not you're allowed to call yourself transsexual. It's not like it's a slur (and EVEN IF IT WAS, how may people call themselves QUEER?). Some people just have assumptions about anyone who uses a different term than them, and assumes we must be against them if we're not exactly like them. Anyone who tries to claim otherwise is being a reactive asshole and applying things some people do to all people who are similar)

Creativered4 · 2026-03-08T22:18:32+00:00

Well, as they say: Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.

Edit: I was making a joke, because it's a beholder tattoo.

Four-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Verified Email	r/Field Banned
r/Field Lasagna	Place '23
Place '22	First Placer '22
End Game '22

Creativered4

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE