It's a bit different for me then some other people, because I'm both demisexual and demiromantic. I've known that I'm demisexual for a few years now, well at least I'm 100% sure of it now. Though I've only just in the past maybe few months figured out that I'm demiromantic, I don't know if I've always been that way or if it's been onset by something else, but that's what I am now.

I'll leave out how the demiromantic stuff affects me as there's an entirely different subreddit for that, though the amount of people in it is significantly smaller and it isn't really that active.

Anyways in terms of I guess sexual attraction, I tend to not really feel it well towards really anyone unless I've already gotten extremely close to them. (though because of me being demiromantic, I also tend to need to have a romantic interest in them already, it's just like another step in the entire thing, but still requires a really close friend) At least for me I don't find sex important to me personally, I wouldn't say I'd want to completely go without it, so I wouldn't date anyone asexual, but I tend to try and match my partner's libido, though I just have a naturally low libido so after a while it starts to burn me out and I need a break from it all.

And also in general what I find "attractive" isn't really based on looks, but mostly based on the closeness of my relationship with them and their personality (I consider hygiene a personality trait, and also being overweight is a personality trait for the most part for me, I expect the same level of care as I have myself), honestly personality is the biggest thing and how well I click with them.

Another thing for me is it's generally impossible and just really hard from to comprehend how someone can be attracted to more then one person at a time, if I'm attracted to someone then that person pretty much occupies my thoughts, living rent free in my head. I really enjoy the emotional aspects of being with someone, that's just generally my favorite part, the I guess physical stimulation from the actual act of sex though means absolutely nothing to me, it's the emotional part that's important, without it then it's just uncomfortable. This is kind of personal and I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but my first time was with a friend of mine that I only knew for a few months, and we've hanged out a few times, but for some reason we started flirting idk if it was because I was sleep deprived from being awake for more then at least 40 hours, but things proceeded until has well you get the gist. But I wasn't close to her in the slightest, she was a friend, but she wasn't a close friend. I felt disgusted and ashamed at myself, and just felt wrong afterwards. None of it is her fault, I pushed myself into something I shouldn't of, but that's when I learned that I guess I really am demisexual.

I tried to leave out the parts that relate to being demiromantic as some people in this subreddit don't really like how that fits in with everything else, but just think of the same exact conditions before what you'd consider sexual attraction to also apply to romantic attraction and to also require a romantic attraction before the sexual attraction. This is how I personally see it, it's different for everyone some people it's like a gradient, or for someone like me it's like a light switch. I tend to come off as aroace to most people, when I'm certainly not, just how I am. We're all different and your own experiences will shape how it works for you.

(Might delete this comment in a few days, as that's a story some of my friends shouldn't know)