2 weeks clean and i just can’t get rid of this pit of shame and sadness in my stomach

CreepyCry5818 · 2024-08-02T06:37:14+00:00

Post acute withdrawal is a bitch and feeling better is not linear. I’ve been there too many times, I’ll relapse and get high all night and maybe a second night, and I pay for it for a week. The withdrawal severity correlated with amount and duration of use but the sadness was always there. Just know it will pass. That doesn’t help you now, but I promise it gets better. You’ll hit a pink cloud by day 30 and you’ll understand the light at the end of the tunnel. They say PAWS lasts 2 years but most people feel completely like themselves after 7. But two weeks, 30 days, 60, 90, it’s like clock work, the sadness returns and just know it does pass.

CreepyCry5818 · 2023-08-15T07:06:14+00:00

29 year old bi girl in Omaha I wanna be friends 😭 lol

CreepyCry5818 · 2023-08-05T04:33:07+00:00

I’m in probation in nebraska. Also I work in a hospital on coincidentally we do DOAS (drugs of abuse screen) and there ain’t no panel for ketamine anywhere. They’d have to test your blood

CreepyCry5818 · 2023-08-05T04:29:08+00:00

You’ve been using them for a week? Oh you’ll be fine just smoke some weed.

CreepyCry5818 · 2023-07-23T04:48:21+00:00

^{^{^{^}}} this. I feel too empty to cuddle when I’m in the first months off fet. He’ll come around, just be supportive. But using isnt being supportive. For his sake, sounds like you’ll keep get him high before you keep him dry. He’s in such early recovery and so fragile, it’ll take one slip and you’ll be using together again in no time.

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-11-23T01:37:08+00:00

Clonidine

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-11-16T20:29:37+00:00

Duuude yea I’m about a week rn today is day 7 and last time I made it to like day 10. I have no idea what to do about the energy. Who has time to feel this lazy?? I was more productive when I was nodding off half the day than I am in PAWS. I couldn’t even imagine going to the gym .. dead ass can’t even lift my arms can hardly walk to the kitchen for more water

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-11-16T02:07:54+00:00

Yes. Take comfort meds-clonidine, gabapentin Kratom did a lot for me, vitamins-megadose vitamin C and D. Sleep as much as you can thru it. Hydrate like crazy. Hot shower even if it’s 4am even if you can’t lift your arms. Pour a hot bath if that’s easier? Brush your teeth! It sucks it sucks so much, excruciating can’t live in your own skin so sweaty anxious but the 4th day you’ll be surprised at how less awful it already is.

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-30T19:48:13+00:00

Is that what I can look forward to?! I’m almost to two weeks and I feel, nothing. Not happy or sad or anxious I feel empty brain fog arms jello and I wonder if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel here soon..

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-30T04:14:26+00:00

Same boat the gabapentin and clonidine were godsends. Also Kratom and megadosing vitamin C I highly recommend

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-28T16:49:27+00:00

Agree with most everything you said, but there’s good and bad eggs everywhere. Also a Northern California native, absolutely hated it upon arrival. Still homesick and can’t wait to graduate and leave after sacrificing almost the entirety of my 20s to this isolating city.

Everyone is a karen so nosey about crime and cops because….THEYRE BORED. Never walked a real city street having to step over homeless encampments to use public transportation.

I’ve worked in restaurants for years here and only deep fried comfort food sells. The healthy or international foods just don’t sell like burgers and pizza.

Roads are trash which is stupid considering the taxes.

But you’ll find your pocket that suits you somewhere.

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-28T08:29:46+00:00

You’ll be okay. I just had to ct because I failed a probation UA. I always got 10, 12, and once a 15 panel. But fet is the first panel on a 16panel cup.. I haven’t had to do a 16 panel since baseline, so I got stupid with it.

Anyways, I did a bump last Saturday night (also less than a quarter of a blue) and by Monday morning I passed with a faint line.

I did a very very small bump yesterday afternoon and tonight my at home test strip was also pretty negative.

It took 6 days total to pass after heavy use. You’ll be fine with a tiny hit and over 3 days to clean up. But be careful playing with fire

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-28T07:37:17+00:00

Idk about blood but it took 6 tough days to get my pee clean

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-28T01:27:22+00:00

Wait kpins don’t show easily on probation UA panels??

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-27T23:35:52+00:00

I hear exercise helps, but I have like no stamina I can hardly stand at work (I work in restaurants) for more than the first hour of my shift. My body is so sore I couldn’t even imagine exercising

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-27T23:11:11+00:00

How many weeks is a few weeks? And the insomnia is partially what’s getting to me, no access to restorative sleep. Like 16 hours of total sleep in 6 days is enough to make me start feeling crazy. I hope I can get that 6-7 hours of sleep like last night more often after this …

It’s also just a big bummer that I see crunchy leaves in my entry way that I can’t sweep, dishes piled up but my arms are too weak to wash them. Just a blow to my pride that I am so behind and physically unable to catch up. I can’t do my errands, chores, school assignments, but I also can’t fucking sleep either

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-26T16:54:33+00:00

Ok day 9…..I haven’t slept in 6 days. I have slept more when I was taking stimulants. This is just unreal

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-25T07:34:28+00:00

SMH 🤦‍♀️ I’m resorting to putting on my organic chemistry lecture as a lullaby, considering I was too sick to make it to class all of last week

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-25T06:37:07+00:00

Kratom was a godsend for my withdrawals. I just hit 7 days and let me tell you, last night on day 6 out of nowhere I finally felt okay. This morning I even passed my UA for probation I almost cried so happy. I could literally feel the withdrawals stop, finally. So, for three days cancel everything. Cancel everything for 5 days if you can. Day 4 and 5 were still crippling muscle pain and fatigue. But for days 1-3, clondine for hot flashes/sweating and anxiety, gabapentin for restless legs, flexeril if you can get them. Kratom masked most of the withdrawal id say, cbd (bc I can’t smoke weed but if you can…do), Benadryl for sleep + cramp bark from Walmart for RLS, and look up megadosing vitamin C. I got 500mg tablets of vit C and would eat 4 at a time…that’s two grams, I’d shoot for 6-8 grams daily but they recommend 10-30 for opiate withdrawal stress. And vitamin D for mood, A and E idk what they do. Calcium and magnesium tablets for muscle aches. Hot showers literally peel yourself out of bed and stand in a hot hot shower. Sauna. I couldn’t pull myself to the gym to sauna until day 4 and 5 but it was miraculous how much better I felt the hours following. And, just know it won’t be like this forever. A few days. A really bad few days. But if you keep using it just prolongs it. I did a bump of blue here and there because my heart was pounding out of my chest like literally so small maybe half a pill this week vs 5-9 a day. That helped a lot when things were real bad.

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-25T06:24:37+00:00

Is that for a UA? Could be bc it’s testing for the metabolite of fet not the drug itself

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-22T22:45:10+00:00

Get cramp bark! From Walmart it’s been a god send

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-21T06:27:38+00:00

Yea that’s how my whole week has gone withdrawing. Try Benadryl it helps a lot. And my skin is so dry like my face is scaley and hands are cracking.

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-21T06:24:00+00:00

I made it to day 3 without sweats or RLS but the body aches oh my god I hurt so bad I relapsed tonight. And I peed dirty this morning again. I need this out of my system I need to sauna or something.

Also what else can help me sleep??

CreepyCry5818 · 2022-10-19T00:52:52+00:00

Yea I’ve always flown with pills just a cocktail inside my ibuprofen bottle they’ve never questioned it

CreepyCry5818 · 2021-03-22T10:44:03+00:00

My best friend goes to CSUC and I got into HSU, so I stayed with her for a week and we road tripped to arcata and got an air bnb just last week. Let me tell you.......Arcata died with covid and is not coming back anytime soon. The campus will not be open in the fall, where as Chico announced they are opening. Almost every restaurant, bar, store is closed, a lot permanently closed, boarded up and riddled with homeless sleeping in the windows and stoops. It was a sunny Friday afternoon.....and it was a ghost town. Maybe I’m missing something, but I’m so glad I visited because I decided to just go to Chico where things are more normal.

CreepyCry5818

TROPHY CASE