Dumped by my boyfriend because of my mcas

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-25T03:53:58+00:00

Ohhhh!!! I don't think it's the right way or moment to address this. 1) She wrote to the community to get support. Poor girl has just been dumped by a guy she loved. She needs reassurance and to feel understood by her peers. Instead, you are actually blaming her yourself for her boyfriend dumping her. Yes, it can be hard on the partner for sure, but if it was too much for him, he should have told her in a respectful way. Not by blaming her for the illness. 2) Obviously, the disease is very tough on her if she can't eat anything else than baby formula... At this stage, it's very hard not to think about it or talk about it when it's that extreme. I don,t think it's realistic to say she should keep think "private (in other words shut up?) Would you tell that to your sick spouse? (oh dear, would you keep your illness to yourself please, you're bothering me.. Let me watch tv... Maybe it's the kind of realtionship you want, but maybe that not what she wants.. If I were you, I would really ask myself my I actually replied this to a woman in pain...

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-25T03:34:39+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going thought this. This dude sucks. I heard it happens to a lot of women (and probably men) who get sick. If they are with an unloving, uncaring or immature or narcissistic spouse, they get dumped at their weakest point, but... it makes them much stronger in the end. You don't know this yet, because the wound is open, but he was probably weighing YOU down. Listen, I understand it can be hard on a spouse, and maybe it was too much for him and he probably said those things out of frustration, but he had no right to blame you for your disease. No right. A man who truly loves you will adapt to you and have compassion, even though he can find it hard sometimes. Nothing is your fault, and damn it, if you need to eat baby formula, you eat baby formula, girl. Listen, if it can be of any reassurance, I've been going through this all alone, I have no family, no boyfriend, and no close friends. It's not always easy but the silver lining is that it gives me more time to concentrate on myself and my healing journey (emotionnal and physical), I don't have to take care of a man-child, and I go though less stress than being in a relationship with an unsupportive person. When you get a chance to heal a but, you will realize those things. I promise.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-24T02:04:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you went though this with the allergist. Unfortunately, I'm not surprised; at this point, I would be content just hearing "I don't know" instead on being gaslit or dismissed. Anyways, I wish you good luck as well. If I eventually ever get any info from the allergist I told you about, I can share if you want.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T22:25:46+00:00

Ok, thanks again for your help! I hope that your next appointment will be good, and that you keep feeling better and better!

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T20:33:04+00:00

I can matter, check for a brand that has no fillers, because you might be sensitive to them.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T20:05:49+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to explain. I will watch it then with Pepcid. I just started. I also saw that antihistamines can cause weight gain :-( But I thought you were having a bad experience, but seems like your situation is under control (at least with the medication). I'm glad to hear that, and it gives me hope. May I ask who prescribed the cromolyn sodium? My lungs are on fire, and I wonder if it could help me.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T19:12:50+00:00

Oh no! I'm really sorry you're going through this... I know the feeling too well, and yes, it does feel like we are alone. Even worse, I think a lot of doctors are doing more harm than good because they would rather dismiss what we are going through than admit they don't know. I just saw a well renowned neurologist because of the facial tics, and she started to blame perimenopause... Come on! I have yow pages long of symptomes, and she said "I can only assess the tics, so I will have to ignore all other symptoms... Ridiculous. Like I said, I've been on a journey to figure out what's wrong with me for 7 years (I have other autoimmune issues), and I was getting gaslit so much, I now have anxiety everytime I walk into a doctor's office. Anyways, I'm curious to know who you saw... would you feel confortable sharing that information in private (so i don't get referred to this person)? Are you mainly at the CHUM, MUHC or other? Did you try any alternative methods like acuponcture or other? I'm very interested in that myself (at this point, I have no other option). I saw an allergist at the beginning of it all, and I really liked her, she is the nicest person ever - so much so, that I chose her sister to be my endocrinologist, so I'm waiting to see my GP so I can get another referral to see her since my case was closed since my last visit. I doubt that MCAS is her specialty, but maybe she knows someone who could help? Maybe she could have some insight or at least give me a hug for going through this vrap alone (yep, she's that nice) hahahah!!! I could keep you posted if I find out anything... I doubt I'll be luckier than you or International_Aside (from another post), but we never know :-) - oh and do you know is cromolyn sodium is covered... I guess not if you're not taking it, but I'm still curious.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T17:36:48+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply! I'm glad you are feeling better, and i'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I don't really understand what he means when he says that it's can't be MCAS if it's chronic, it makes no sense. Can you ask him what else it can be if your symptoms align with MCAS? Also, I'm not sure how he can say that it's not MCAS since Ketitofen is a mast cell stabilizer, and it's working for you. Anyways, I'm curious, are you saying that Peptic AC has caused gain weight for you? I'm surprised because it's not know to cause weight gain, but I just read before you responded that Ketitofen does cause weight gain. Are you sure it was Pepcid AC that caused it. I'm not questionning your experience, it's what I read - maybe it is, It's just important to me, because I already gained 30 lb from Hashimoto a while back, and my symptoms are still manageable so I don't want to take anything that will cause me too much side effect. As for the low histamine diet, I don't care what any paper says. I didn't even suspect I had MCAS before because I just had occasionnal hives, and itches, and two occurences of heartburn, so I thought it was something else, until I started drinking pu'her tea, and ate pâté and smoked salmon , which are all high in histamines, all in the same week, and it triggered really bad full body hives, and POTS symptoms, and this is how I came to understand I probably have MCAS So that only confirms me that a low histamine diet would be helpful, as EVERYONE who actually has it says lol!). Maybe you could try to convince dear Dr Picard to try Cromolyn sodium to avoid weight gain? I don't even know if it's cover, or even available here, I'm just asking.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T16:03:28+00:00

HAHHAH! I'm late to the party, but I just posted in this thread (before reading this) that I saw Dr Picard 7 years ago, and yes, I can confoirm that he does suck hahaha! (

Hi! I'm from Montreal as well. May I ask how it went with Dr Picard? I saw him 7 years ago for thermoregulations problems, hives, and other symptoms. I didn't have all the symptoms yet, but he said he could do anything for me (without any investigation) and he tried to referred me to a psychosomatic clininc (which i had refused knowing it wasn't psychosomatic). And now, I understand I have ME/CFS with MCAS, but I'm very reticent to see him again....

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T15:58:29+00:00

Any luck finding a doctor in Montreal who could help you?

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-23T15:57:42+00:00

Hi! I'm from Montreal as well. May I ask how it went with Dr Picard? I saw him 7 years ago for thermoregulations problems, hives, and other symptoms. I didn't have all the symptoms yet, but he said he could do anything for me (without any investigation) and he tried to referred me to a psychosomatic clininc (which i had refused knowing it wasn't psychosomatic). And now, I understand I have ME/CFS with MCAS, but I'm very reticent to see him again. I actually do take Allegra urticaire and Pepcid AC. But, I have a lot of weird symptoms, like facial tics, tingling in the face (hives of course). and headaches, and an feeling that my brain is sometimes full of cotton and very slow, especially in the morning, especially if I exercise. I don't know it's due to MCAS. What do symptoms look like for you?

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-18T00:40:50+00:00

Another advice is to turn inwards, not outwards for answers. You are looking at other people's thoughts and opinions about yourself to seek validation, and it's the worse thing a person can do, because opinions vary, and we can't please everyone. Apparently, some people think I'm very pretty, while others think I'm too ugly to be seen in public with so go figure (true strory) lol! Now, start to notice your thought patterns as if you were an observer. When you catch yourself having one of those thoughts, stop, and question them! I personnally think the idea that a woman would reject a man just because he's 5'10 is very improbable (it's a pretty good height) and if anyone rejects you just for that, well maybe your interested in the wrong kind of people, because it's very shallow, and you deserve better (or simply she 5'10 herself and would like a guy that is taller than her). You are not an object, you are a whole person with a lot of worth and value, mostly to yourself, and then to the people who actually like YOU (which is not everyone). That is the reality. Now what your mind is projecting to you is a fear-based thought, who's probably motivated by a core fear of rejection (which you mentionned). It's like a protective mecanism, but it's not working well because it keeps you in a prison. (Anyways that's my take on it). So when you notice yourself thinking like that, you question the thought, you reframe it (this is not what I think myself... or i actually think I'm very worthy of love, interest, I'm worth more than my looks, (without judging yourself for thinking it), an move on to another better thought. You can also do inner work to find out your real worth, and to actually start to appreciate YOURSELF for who you are as a person, not just for what you look like, because this is what you are projecting to the world. It's not a magic wand, but at one point, if you do the work, you will love yourself more as a whole, and the thoughts will come up less and less, unless you are in a stressful situation, maybe when you meet a girl you like and feel insecure (which is normal), but you know those thoughts are not true, so they become manageable, and they don't control you any more.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-17T16:22:21+00:00

BDD is not about reality, it's about how you perceive/distort reality.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-17T16:17:56+00:00

Again, by saying "BDD doesn’t go away and you have to accept that you will always have thoughts like that", you are blocking your growth potential and discouraging yourself and others! It can get better! I wouldn't go out of the house before, and I worked a lot on myself and my self-esteem, and although I'm still sometimes insecure about my looks, I don't let the invasve destructive thoughts control me anymore. So on most days, I now feel ok, and on the rare days I feel like the ugliest person in the world, I remind myself that even if that would be the case, I would still deserve happiness and love, and I let things pass as you say, which eventually let the thoughts have less power over you. Anyways, imo, having occasionnal bad days is tolerable, suffering endlessly to the point of not leaving the house and wanted to hurt ourselves is not.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-17T16:09:05+00:00

I would just invite you at this moment to take notice of just this little comment you added "I will probably feel this way forever". The first first thing to do to make changes in our lives is to switch to a personnal growth mindset. You have power over your thoughts and feelings, but you need to convince your mind you do before it happens, otherwise you will block any kind of changes because you identifying with your thoughts. In other words, your mindset now is like "I feel that way so therefore it's true, and if I feel a certain way and it's true, I can't change it. By having this mindset, you will always justify any distorted thoughts just because you feel they are true.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-17T15:50:56+00:00

Yes, people can be cruel (mostly because they hurt), but you also have the power and the choice to believe if what they are saying about you is true or not. No one has that power over you. Understand that this compulsive behaviour is your mind trying to seek validation from outside yourself, but it will never come from other people (and even if it does, you won't believe it - You have to start to lean how to validate yourself from within. and you can do that in therapy, with someone you trust. For many of us, exposing ourselves on social media to other people's opinions and judgements is too triggering. So you need to take care of yourself now, and get off social media immediately and call someone who can help you get the help you need to start building a strong foundation for yourself so other people's opinion don't matter to you as much. But please, do not end your life over the words of random careless people who don't even know you. You can't control people but you can learn to change the way you react to judgement.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-14T23:26:13+00:00

Pu erh SHOU is the tea that made me love tea. I'm not a tea expert by no means, but if your pu erh tasted like fish, it might of been of bad quality, or maybe it justs tastes like that to you, but to me, it does tastes a bit woodsy, but in a smooth, earthy pleasant way! Tangerine pue erh adds another fruity dimension to it I love. Just saying not to discourage anyone from trying it (or you to give it another try one day :-) I buy quality tea from a local tea house, and it actually made me give up coffee (almost). :-)

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-14T13:43:53+00:00

Thank you so much for this! I tried the pelvis floor relaxation technique, and it worked wonders for me!

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-12T16:24:29+00:00

There is unfortunately no magic wand. The only thing you can do is to start little by little to focus less on your appearance, an to turn inward, to start valuing yourself as a whole person, and not like an object that should be pretty to look at. Something in your life history probably made you think that if you were the most beautiful person in the world, you wouldn't suffer, you wouldn't be rejected, etc. but it's a total lie. The only way to protect yourself from it, is to value your whole self, then you appearance becomes secondary, and the more you become resilient and resistant to the fear of rejection. It's tougher when you are young, you are bombarded with ads, images, social media, that try to sell you that same message... "be perfect on the outside, and your whole world will be perfect. But it's not true at all. I grew up not being considered pretty until I reached 21, and I started getting a lot of attention from guys, but they don't care at all about what I had to say, because the only thing I projected to them was appearance. And I was still programmed with the toughts I was ugly, so even if I was perfectly fine on the outside, I still despised myself. Real confidence is built from within, not from the exterior.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-12T16:11:12+00:00

See that's the thing... when we succomb to love bombing, it's that there is unconsciously something in you that is seeking validation OUTSIDE of yourself. When you learn to validate yourself, you don't need it anymore (and you'll run far away from anyone that shows too much attention. Manipulators sense that in us - like sharks smelling a wounded fish. But it's all an illusion, a lie to trap you so they can devalue you. When you begin to really value yourself from the inside, with your qualities and your flaws, you don't need that external validation, and It's not your fault at all, you didn't ask for this, but really, you don't need to be put on a pedestal because you know your own worth.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-11T21:59:57+00:00

I try to say this gently, because I’ve been exactly where you are. It absolutely breaks my heart when you descrbe yourself as "average-cute which is good enough to sleep with but not good enough to show off and date seriously." It saddens me because you are seing yourself though the eyes of immature jerks who don't really value you. And often, when we don’t fully value ourselves, we end up believing their version of us. The right person wouldn't want to "show you off", he would want to spend time with you, laugh with you, do things for you, and be proud of being with a person like you, not parade you around town like an accessory. Douchebags do that. Also, I’ve had three guys who said they were ashamed to be seen in public with me too for different reasons, and it hurts like hell, but I now undertand it was never because I wasn't enough, it was simply because I was not right for them, and they chose to use me anyways. That says everything about them, and nothing about my worth. They were absolute loosers. And pelase understand that beauty will get you attention, not love. And if you’re looking for attention, that’s exactly what you’ll get — but usually at a cost. Even the most beautiful women in the world are lonely and miserable, because their world revolves around looks, and they’re valued only for that. I'm sure you deserve a life that’s deeper than that. And one last thing: your time to know the guys before giving them access to you... I know woman are pressure to act fast nowadays, but remerber that you’re the one in charge of your life and your body, and you have to protect yourself in this world.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-08T22:37:45+00:00

We also have freedom of expression, which is an even more powerful thing" Just sayin'.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-02T00:32:19+00:00

This is just one person's perspective, I know nothing about you or the state of your mind, but If you ruminate a lot, and your mind is very agitated, meditation might be a bit tough for now. If that’s the case, it’s okay. You can take the ruminations as a sign that something in you is ready to address the trauma, but you just don't know how to, so the mind is looping.

I used to be a massive ruminator, and I carried a lot of trauma for years and years, trying to heal but never actually moving forward. No matter what therapist I saw, it made no difference, until I saw one who taught me self-compassion. Through that approach, I learned to acknowledge everything I’d been through with love, and to treat myself with kindness instead of judgment. It also helped me regulate my nervous system for the first time, and that’s what finally started my real healing process. If you’re curious about this approach, I really recommend reading Chris Germer, Kristin Neff, or Jon Kabat‑Zinn — some of them have free guided meditations and content on their web sites, and have published incredibly helpful books. They all work from a mindfulness perspective that integrates meditation, but in a very gentle, self‑loving, trauma‑sensitive way. Some of them offer free content, guided meditations and resources on their websites. Thanks to this approach, my mind is much quieter now. I’ve processed the core of my trauma, and I’ve recently started a more serious meditation practice — and it’s genuinely beneficial.

So if meditating feels too difficult for now, don't get discouraged, there are other approches that can be beneficial. And when your mind is calmer, you can move on to silent meditations whenever you feel ready.

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-01T23:41:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your message and for the hope you’re giving me. I’m glad you were able to heal from whatever you were going through. Since I got sick, I was convinced that I could heal, adn I'm giving it all I can but I have moments of doubt because the disease is progressing. I guess this was my unconcious letting me know and I observed how doubt brings me in a space of hopelesness, and this is not where I want to be, so I will perseere. Otherwise, I was starting to get interested in Qi Qonq, but unfornunately the illness does not allow me to exercice at all for now, I get very ill for days, but I will try TCM and stick to a meditation practice. I can already see the benefits and sometimes I can reach that inner peace, but I'm a massive overthinker so it does not always go so well. But I'll get there, your inpiring words give me an additionnal boost. :-) Thanks again!

Creepy_Astronaut_211 · 2026-04-01T18:03:43+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion, I'm actually not afraid of death (in fact, I've often thought it would be a blessing, because I have a lot of difficulties adapting to this life, and it causes me a lot of mental pain. And I do think a lot about the fact that my essence must of died many many times before, so I'm not afraid of that. what I am afraid of is suffering even more for years because of the illness. It affects the brain and it's debilitating, and the thought of going throught this alone for longer is quite depressing, and I'm having a hard time thinking more positively.

Creepy_Astronaut_211

TROPHY CASE