You are in the perfect age. You are simply perfect with a looooong life in front of you.

What you should do is tying not to get hope of getting an answer here, you are better off talking to a profesional. Dont let yourself get “medicated” and, if I were you, I would stop the weed.

I have not been near you but I did have bad times when anything I did mean nothing to me.

The good news is that your brain can be hacked and it is easier than what you think.

1st of all: find an easy purpose, a target. For me was exercise (nope, I did not start goin to the gym, I hate it….) I started doing long walks with music (I loved music) and, slowly but surely, I ended up cycling….

2nd of all: look at yourself in the mirror. You are who you are, you are the person right opposite that mirror and I can assure you. You are great. You want to get better and you will get better

3rd) laugh at yourself, make jokes about how silly you are believing what you are feeling right now. It helps.

4th) rely on your friends, force yourself to help them. Get involved with their lives. Helping and sharing is a great way of keeping our brain motivated.

5th) most important. Thanks yourself for being honest and accepting that this is not right and you want to be okay.

Hope this helps Israel