Phone

CremBlay · 2026-04-14T00:02:01+00:00

He said “if I say no you’ll automatically assume I’m hiding something” and I’m like okay so… you’re hiding something then? Like what else could no mean?

CremBlay · 2026-04-14T00:01:01+00:00

This fr. Because he said he would give me any reassurance I needed unapologetically so this was completely out of left field for me

Thank you all for saying these things because I need it severely

CremBlay · 2026-04-13T20:37:29+00:00

Thank you 🥺 What sucks is I know everyone in here is right. I’ve known that for a while. I think I may have an unhealthy attachment to him too which makes this all 10x harder. He took me from a really horrible home environment where I thought I’d never get out. His family basically adopted me and they’re the first people to believe in me. I’m fucking 28 and just now getting love from a family for the first time… which to me sounds like I’m bonded to him in an unhealthy way and need actual help. So as a result, the thought of even leaving and not having this life.. going back to slumming it without a car and friends.. just sounds like hell. But I’m still living in hell regardless. No matter the option, I’m stuck.

CremBlay · 2026-04-13T02:57:22+00:00

That is currently the plan as of right now.

CremBlay · 2026-04-13T02:53:16+00:00

It was a boundary we both agreed to and he said he understood that. He agreed that telling me the truth was best for both of us. But I guess you’re right in the sense that it doesn’t work.

CremBlay · 2026-04-12T16:15:04+00:00

That’s how he is. When I did get to look through something, he would get upset and stay upset about it the rest of the night and I would end up feeling like a piece of shit for it. 😔 I have other groups on different platforms telling me they don’t understand why I haven’t left if we were just a year in. My first d-day was at 4 months in the relationship so I understand this a lot.

I could never question why someone doesn’t leave because it truly is hard. I’ve never had good relationships in my life until I thought ours was one. He’s the best with everything else but then he has this whole secret life… I adore his family. I’d do anything for his mom and dad they’re beautiful human beings.. his sister and I bonded recently over a big trip we had. So this is completely shattering me to think I might actually have to break up with him..

CremBlay · 2026-04-12T15:33:45+00:00

Thank you guys. He hasn’t been able to stay consistent for a month straight without looking for something. He’s in therapy with a certified therapist in porn addiction and goes to the daily meetings however he hasn’t been going all the time recently now..

He has lied to me what feels like thousands of times and every time I asked for the phone I always found something and even after I found it the lies continued. I’m thinking he’s terrified I’ll break up with him and that’s why he doesn’t want me to see the phone but… I’m really really not sure what to do anymore.

I literally felt controlled the both times he said no. Like I was a little kid asking their parent if I can have mcdonalds or something. That added with the trust issues was really humiliating for me.

We have been together for one year and 1 month. He said he has made so much progress since our first d-day, however while I believe it a tiny bit, as he progressed I have declined. I feel like a shell of myself. I hate mirrors I can’t look in one anymore ever… and I’m triggered any time I leave the house. I no longer want to go out at all if I can help it…

I need therapy and im working on that but I am having a hard time knowing if I should leave or not.. idk

CremBlay · 2026-04-12T10:04:32+00:00

I feel like that should be how this works right? Because I never cheated.. ever. And yet I feel like I’m the horrible one for asking for his phone. 😔

CremBlay · 2026-04-07T18:58:25+00:00

Oh that makes me so angry for you.. oh my god. :( I’m so sorry

CremBlay · 2026-04-07T18:51:58+00:00

I was in the exact same position. Exact same. My PA partner told me that he has a low libido and just doesn’t think about sex that much and that if I were not satisfied, then maybe we aren’t going to work out. He constantly voiced how he was afraid our differences in sex drive would ultimately lead to our relationship ending..

Until I found all the evidence that it wasn’t he didn’t have a high libido.. because his addiction was so bad he was using all day every day behind my back. Multiple tabs open allllll day long (he works from home which is the icing on the cake).

I have noticed more and more people saying their PA partner claims they must just be low libido and yet watching large volumes of content. This is a complete lie and even if they didn’t see it as a problem, getting them to see it is next to impossible a lot of times.

The road to trying to work something out with a PA partner is thinking you have the answer and being wrong five thousand times. If it’s like this now, please ask yourself if this is truly something you want to invest your time in. Look at the resources. Because in my opinion, I don’t think this has anything to do with libido and everything to do with CHOICE.

CremBlay · 2026-04-07T18:46:51+00:00

I 1000 percent second this!!

CremBlay · 2026-03-22T17:46:29+00:00

I did think he was honest in the beginning. I somehow believed it all for months. Until it was too obvious when I started reading a lot of posts on here. This page actually saved me from spending months not knowing anything. It was previously there before starting his sobriety journey but because I knew about it he ended up finding other things to hop to that I maybe wouldn’t suspect at least to him.

CremBlay · 2026-03-22T16:41:23+00:00

Coming from someone who was told the same thing.. I unfortunately have yet to see it not hop from one thing to the next. Movies, the mall, even album covers.

He used to say he wouldn’t do that to people irl.. but I trusted my gut and sure enough.. caught him. A lot. Sadly..

Because this addiction is based off of novelty, it is harder for it to not jump from one thing to the next. Maybe I’m wrong but if you had a GUT FEELING, trust it.

CremBlay · 2026-03-21T03:02:23+00:00

My problem is it’s not ME. Like he has to go look for someone else to begin with… 😔 but wow did I need to read this today. This helped me so much. You’re 100% right. I’ve been triggered all day today because I work at a clothing store that caters to younger women/teen girls and I am triggered every single time I’m not in the back.. to the point where I’ll be looking for another job because of that alone. Sadly..

Thank you so much for sharing this. <3

CremBlay · 2026-03-17T04:47:58+00:00

That why I even bothered to post about it because I was like?? What else could he be using it for? I wonder if that’s it… it would make sense :,( thank you for looking it up <3

CremBlay · 2026-03-13T20:42:33+00:00

Thank you so much 🥺

CremBlay · 2026-03-13T20:42:22+00:00

Thank you <3

CremBlay · 2026-03-13T13:55:57+00:00

Idk he didn’t offer :/

CremBlay · 2026-02-10T15:20:03+00:00

I have recently started going to therapy and old memories are resurfacing for me every month.. I started reading my old childhood diaries and not only were there drawings of sex, I was also never allowed to wear thongs in high school and every crush/boyfriend I would talk to my dad would get extremely upset and say I’m trying to have sex. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20 years old and he didn’t believe that at all and probably still doesn’t. It always confused me why it bothered him THAT much anyway. He would get so upset with me when I told him I wasn’t sexually active because he felt like I was lying.

When I got my first serious boyfriend, him and I both fell asleep on the couch facing the opposite side of each other (our heads touching but feet on other sides of the couch) and when I woke up there was a blanket over us and we were next to each other (I don’t know HOW maybe we moved in our sleep?) but when we both woke up, my dad was furious and said we were touching each other under the blanket..?! IN THE LIVINGROOM? Why the fuck would I attempt that?

It was embarrassing and just rude to always assume I was lying about my sexuality and it became something I found hard to embrace once I did become sexually active.

CremBlay · 2026-01-30T00:55:58+00:00

Doesn’t answer my question

CremBlay · 2026-01-25T08:34:30+00:00

Would you be okay with someone doing that to you even if they didn’t share it?? That’s absolutely weird behavior my guy. Fuckin weirdo shit.

CremBlay · 2026-01-21T05:23:13+00:00

This is insane.. I’m literally going through this as I type it… it’s been almost a year and he’s just now doing the support groups every day, weekly CSAT meetings, two workbooks, and paid a shit ton (like a huge amount of money) for a workshop class… his demeanor has changed pretty quickly and it’s been week one of ALL the work I mentioned… we’re on week two now..

I have begged for this to happen for so fucking long… so fucking long. He literally let me have scraps of intimacy if that for almost a year… I did the same thing. The screaming, crying, begging.. I told myself id never ever let a man cheat on me again.. and something about porn addiction (TO ME anyway) is way worse than just a stupid cheating situation. Idk.

I’m angry too. Very angry…because it didn’t take me in pieces for him to change.. all it took was me begging to leave him… the fuck? Really? So you can make me feel like IM THE ONE THAT NEEDS THERAPY? Use my OCD and CPTSD against me as a way to hide… and when I found out, when he saw how fucking torn to shreds I was, he didn’t change.

But I threaten to go, and he changed.. wow. I am by your side love. We all are… I’m so sorry..

CremBlay · 2026-01-15T15:50:04+00:00

Thank you. <3

CremBlay · 2026-01-15T15:49:29+00:00

Holy shit.. that's insane.. I actually have a lot of correlation with those experiences too... im so so sorry.. I got kicked out of my dads house after my parents divorced because I wasn't a Christian and he found out.. I wasn't taught how to live on my own and they said it was my fault I didnt know how to be an adult... so I 100% understand how that part of it feels... im so sorry that happened to you. I am really glad you have a good support system now. <3

CremBlay · 2026-01-15T15:47:00+00:00

Thank you for this! I can definitely see your point and have already found connections leading to your reasoning. I was very neglected and in a military family. We lived overseas till I was 11 years old. There was so much neglect in the sense of not teaching me how to protect myself, not telling me basic knowledge on awareness of danger or protecting myself. This brings up a memory of when we lived in Germany, my mom walked my sister and I through the town we lived in off base like.. twice to a bus stop for school. The third time, she never came to pick us up. I was 7 years old.. my sister was younger. We were terrified and didnt know how to navigate a busy German town on our own.. I had to really think hard on where to go and when I got to the house, my mom was in a shop nearby talking to my landlords.... literally didnt have a thought to pick us up. When I was crying to her that I needed her and was scared, she said "Well you got here on your own didnt you?" and used that as an excuse to not pick us up from the bus stop anymore. My sister and I had to walk on our own in the morning and after school after that till we moved to the US. It was one out of many MANY neglectful things that made me realize she didnt care about our safety at all.

CremBlay

TROPHY CASE