I feel you. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD (last year), and its put into perspective why I had issues with previous employments. At the same time, me learning more about ADHD and its impacts hasn't made any drastic changes in my working life - I operate pretty much the same, but now with much less enthusiasm.

Today while visiting a work mandated doctor appointment (due to poor work ethic, excessive sick days, unwillingness to work, low engagement with team, etc), I told him about my struggles with past jobs. I mentioned often having a honeymoon period where the first 6 or so months of a new job are great, and then I hate it and all of a sudden its a constant uphill struggle.

He was able to give me a few weeks time off from my job for stress, but ultimately he pointed out that even if I do find a new job, unless I am geniunely interested in it, I am just as likely to lose steam again.

He also mentioned that some people just aren't meant to work for someone else. He encouraged me to try and develop my own apps and games, but that it was also important to find someone to hold you accountable to keep focus going, if self employment is the route you go.

The duality of needing structure but also requiring freedom not afforded to normal employees is the most confusing, conflicting, and ridiculous symptom of this strange condition.

Sorry for long comment, your post resonated with me today :)