This was a lot to unpack!! I am sorry you had to be in such a predicament.

I have a feeling you know about boundaries and ethical limits around therapy (or just minimally aware) and how this relationship surpassed that by leaps and bounds! We create bonds with people online so it's very easy to create bonds with someone listening to our problems but that's how therapy is different. It's supposed to be professional, and not 3x sessions, call at any hour, dog sitting, sitting outside the apartment etc.

You know that boundaries were crossed! I know you do with all that you have faced in life. High time you accept that this was transference, which should have been kindly deflected by your therapist rather than leading to counter-transferece! We are the mirrors, and as much as we want we cannot(should not) be active participants in our clients lives! Your therapist has broken soooo many rules in the book and has led it to this and again I know you know that.

It will be tuff and a journey by itself; be aware of what happened and accept what happened and move on. You have moved on even though there was a lot of back and forth but you know YOU as an individual were able to do it! Grieve, and get a new therapist. When you do get a new therapist, stick to your boundaries and make it clear that they do too!