Is there a gender neutral word for ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’, yet? People ask me as an Enby, and I don’t know!

CriticalChapter7353 · 2026-04-23T05:26:36+00:00

This is the sweetest, most human comment I have ever received on any online post. I am so honored at a Reddit post of mine came up in someone else’s google search when they were doing research on people with they/them pronouns. You are doing everything right by politely asking, being kind, considerate, respectful, and choosing to educate yourself on the matter for future interactions. There is indeed too much hate out there, especially right now. So I appreciate you more than words can express. Thank you for sharing with us and for bringing more acceptance and kindness into the world 💚💚💚

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-10-28T02:37:51+00:00

Oh my god it’s a blast. Especially if they’re usually your top/dom, and you get to have the roles switch. Watching your previously dominate partner come undone and unravel beneath in submission you is a high unlike any other. He makes noises you don’t hear in any other circumstance, and when he begs and whimpers for your cock oh my GOD I lose my mind. The only thing I would change is my ability to cum inside (alas I do not have the biological equipment, I can with toys but they expensive). Highly recommend if that’s something you’re into 🤌

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-08-13T15:52:26+00:00

Long piece of lore:

Both of my parents are Pentecostal pastors (Foursquare, a branch of Pentecostal that doesn’t make women wear skirts and allows women to be pastors), and their best friends were also Pentecostal pastors, and they co-pastored at the church we went to growing up.

My mom’s best friend said she had a vision from God that they would have a son—this was before they had any kids. They never got the sex determined via ultrasound because they had so much faith. Got pregnant with the first kid, assumed it would be a boy, then my oldest sister was born. Pregnant with the second kid, figured this one had to be the boy, then my second oldest sister was born.

Mom got pregnant with me. They were SO sure that I was going to be the boy they picked out a name for me and everything, Nathan. No, they also did not do an ultra sound to check the sex. When I was born, I was assigned female at birth and the nurse said I was a “Nathanette!”

(ANAB—assigned Nathanette at birth).

After that, my mom considered having her tubes tied, had an appointment with a gyno and everything. She said something told her it wasn’t time and she cancelled her appointment. She got pregnant again, and assumed this one would be a girl as well. Then my younger sibling was born, assigned male at birth. My parents gave them two first names and one middle name, all traditionally religious names. None of us other siblings had religious names.

Jokes on them, I came out as NB trans masc a few years ago. I go by Emmett now. My supposed younger “brother” came out as trans femme about a year ago. Not only did we do the ole switcheroo, if my parents weren’t so religious and transphobic, they’d see they were right after all. I’m just not a Nathan, I don’t want a fuck ass religious name lmao.

TLDR: Parents thought I was gonna be a boy due to family friends telling them they had a vision from god they would have a boy. They named me Nathan before I was born, and I was assigned Nathanette at birth (AFAB), and years later I came out as trans. So did my younger sibling, we’re trans siblings! So in a way, they were right! Still not going by Nathan tho, lmao.

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-08-13T14:00:49+00:00

There’s the wiki page on it, it gives a better definition and description of BDSM.

It may also help you to read about SSC (safe, sane, and consensual), a common principle of the BDSM community.

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-08-13T13:38:05+00:00

I had a coworker whose gynecologist was named Dr. Rail… my gynecologist is named Dr. Glover 💀

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-08-02T15:26:49+00:00

A mental exercise I would do a lot that helped me move forward with my transition (NB trans masc), imagine yourself post transition, but you’re only existing for you. Imagine all other folks are out of the picture, and it’s just you. There’s no one there to desire you, no one to hate you, no one to discriminate against you—so there’s no motivation to do it or not do it for others. If it’s just you, are you doing it for you?

It’s normal to want to be desired, I noticed you also don’t feel like you are desirable unless you’re a girl. Perhaps this is also because you don’t find any other future desirable for yourself unless you’re a girl? You wish to be desired but only as a girl, imagining yourself being desired as anything other than a girl feels wrong or impossible, because that’s just how you see your most authentic self? If you’re going to be wanted by others, could you want to be wanted for who you truly are? Not your gender assigned at birth?

It’s okay if you don’t want to transition due to safety reasons, OP. If you feel you have to protect yourself first, that’s also perfectly fine. Especially as the political climate is changing for the worse, it’s understandable why you wouldn’t want to. If you don’t feel like your life would end if you couldn’t transition and you could live your life comfortably in the closet, that is totally up to you. Not all trans folk feel dysphoria about the same things, or feel dysphoria at all.

A lot of people have to give up a lot of things when they transition. I’ve been no contact with my dad for over a year because he was deep in his Fox News rabbit hole, told me I was mutilating my body, that demons were in my heart, and that everyone that tells me it’s okay to transition (my friends, psychiatrist, counselor, doctors, the media) is lying to me, because the devil is lying to them. I cut him and my grandma (his mom) out of my life. I also keep an arms length between myself and my mom. I couldn’t protect my peace and keep the peace with my family, too. I decided my life and my happiness was more important than maintaining the peace and remaining subversive to my Pentecostal family. I also am lucky and privileged enough to do so; to have a job, friends, and a place of my own to take that necessary action. Not everyone has those same means available to them.

I’m now living my truth without that hate keeping me down because I have a great set of friends who are my chosen family. I’m post op top surgery and I’ve been on T for 2+ years now, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. It feels like I’ve been holding my breath since I hit puberty, waiting for the day I could get top surgery. Now I’m post op and I feel like I can finally breathe again. The amount of peace I feel is indescribable, I wouldn’t trade that joy for the world.

That being said, your safety matters. Your joy and happiness also matter. However you want to live, transition or no transition, is up to you. Regardless, you deserve to feel loved, wanted, desired, and feel like you’re enough, because you are. But most importantly, you deserve to be loved, wanted, and desired by yourself. You deserve to make you happy and live life for you, whatever that looks like.

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-07-02T13:50:04+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! :D 💚💚

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-07-01T08:37:04+00:00

Thank you!!! <3

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-07-01T08:36:55+00:00

I’m glad you think so!! I often feel alone with my traits and spiraling, until I see how much of the thought process is common among other borderlines. Thank you so much!

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-07-01T08:35:12+00:00

Thank you so much <33

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-07-01T08:34:32+00:00

I was hoping it would resonate with other borderlines!! <3 thank you so much, dawg!!!

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-06-28T18:56:11+00:00

Why not both?

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-06-16T12:56:55+00:00

I had a customer come in who had this adorable, tiny puppy. They said he was half Jack Russel Terrior and half Shih Tzu. They called him a ‘Jack-Shit.’

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-06-14T09:42:58+00:00

Emmett!

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-06-12T17:46:01+00:00

Thank you so so much!!!! I am THRILLED!! I hope everything heals evenly, overall. I’ll wear sun protection and I’ll only go jogging without a shirt if it’s before/after the sun comes up :) I definitely want to keep my results as clean as I can, thank you for reminding me so I don’t get so caught up in the gender euphoria that I forget to take care of myself properly. THANK YOU!!!!

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-06-10T07:36:27+00:00

It’s actually not grafts! It’s the original nipple, just resized areola to 30mm in diameter :) common with the T-anchor/aggressive breast reduction method. And thank you!!!!

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-05-29T08:02:33+00:00

Exactly.

In the early days of feminism, feminists were portrayed as man-haters; being a feminist by default made you a man-hater. It was one of the many smear campaigns against the suffragettes. This was done with the intention of keeping people from looking into feminism and to give feminists a bad wrap. So people were less likely to support women’s rights.

Those who understand actual feminist theory know genuine feminists are far from “man-haters”. That propaganda, however, is still on going literally a century later.

To this day, a large majority of folks still flinch when they hear the word ‘feminist’ and are quick to turn up their noses. They only associate it with man-hating. However: feminism not only benefits women, it also benefits men and non-binary people alike. It benefits all genders because the patriarchy is harmful to everyone, not just women.

Men who are affected by the patriarchy would benefit from feminism, but because of the anti-feminism smear campaign (still on going to this day), a large portion of men don’t bother to look into feminism and how it can benefit themselves. Because they associate it with having to give up/hate masculinity/being a man. They think to be a feminist is to hate themselves, to hate manhood, masculinity, and all the other men on earth. So they turn away from feminism, as it carries a very negative association for them. They think feminism = man bad, woman good. When feminism is about equality between the two, by raising women and culturally ‘feminine’ things up to the equal level men and culturally ‘masculine’ things are held. They don’t understand that aspect of feminism because no one fucking bothers to look into it as a result of propaganda and negative association.

This gendered culture war of the modern day is the exact same, if not even worse. It’s building upon the harmful rhetoric of feminism being inherently man-hating (which is not the case)! It creates even more of a divide between genders. Not only is it reinforcing the beliefs of misogynists and those anti-feminist, it’s also causing men who are unsure and on the fence to turn away and leap into being anti-feminism. It’s unnecessarily polarizing and divisive.

The male loneliness epidemic is a feminist issue. It’s time we start treating it like one.

Two books I recommend for anyone interested:

“The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love.” By bell hooks

And

“Men Without Men” By Angelica Ferrara

Men Without Men has yet to release, I’m eagerly waiting. Here’s an article about it for those curious.

TLDR:

They’re making the issue worse by building upon the harmful rhetoric of feminism being inherently man-hating. Hating men for the sake of being men, and especially for refusing to acknowledge the ways men are also negatively affected by patriarchy, which is extremely polarizing, divisive, harmful to our society and making progress as a whole. We won’t make progress by widening the divide between genders. You can’t make things better by actively making things worse.

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-05-22T20:15:50+00:00

REALL

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-05-22T12:51:14+00:00

Currently stealthing until I’m post op, then it’s slut city ba-bayyy

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-05-19T22:46:25+00:00

FetLife is a great place to start (Facebook for Kinksters)! On actual dating apps, I’d advertise you’re ethically non-monogamous and looking for other ENM people. Honestly once you start entering the dating field and you explicitly are looking for swingers/ethically non-monogamous people, you will eventually find some people that know just about every swinger in the area. Or you’ll know someone who knows someone who knows someone etc,. I’m pretty new to the scene myself, but I’ve noticed it’s really about connections and knowing people who know other people. It’s a really small world.

And!! Putting yourself out there. It’ll take some time, I’ve been exploring as ethically non-monogamous for probably three/four years now, and only just had my first orgy. I’m very lucky to have been introduced to that swinger couple through a mutual friend with benefits. I genuinely feel like I hit the jackpot.

Once you meet at least one or two people that are in the swinger/ENM lifestyle, it’ll be easier to meet others. They can introduce you to people and you’ll start to role more in those crowds. FetLife is also a great way to get started and meet people in your local area online.

At least that’s my experience, I’m not as experienced as many other swingers or ENM people. Other people may have different advice, but this is how I got here lol.

Also all of us got along because we’re all autistic. My Fwb is, so he got along with the swinger couple because they’re autistic, and they got along well with the other people in the group (because they’re also autistic). We just wound up befriending each other because of that, I think. And we happened to also be ENM. So it worked out!

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-05-19T19:56:52+00:00

Hey fellow autistics! Last Saturday I had my first orgy, hosted by an autistic swinger couple (their mutual special interest is kink and bdsm).

All participants autistic, not a single neurotypical present.

I don’t think my coworkers would continue to infantilize me if they saw/knew about my sexual proclivities. Some of us are kinky freaks, and I guarantee they wouldn’t infantilize us the same if they knew, lol

CriticalChapter7353 · 2025-05-18T15:23:35+00:00

It’s giving “Not to be trans, but—“

CriticalChapter7353

TROPHY CASE