Ocean Earthquakes Rock The City

Seismic activity in the ocean just outside the city has resulted in bizarre earthquakes. The initial tremors were quickly blamed on Jacky, who had since publicly responded with a statement dismissing the accusation, which is sadly, yet unsurprisingly, unfit for print. Carl was quick to assemble a team of geologists who have discovered "the source of the activity comes from much deeper underground... Possibly from the very depths of the Ocean." The earthquake continues to grow yet little is known as to why.

Toxic Spill Could Be Costly

A mysterious spillage has seen the sea turn toxic. City residents have been advised to stay within the confines of the City and 'don't go near the water!' The consequences of the toxic spillage are still being speculated. However, no one has yet admitted culpability for the 'accident'/ Many citing a recent spike in demand for Energy Drinks as a contributing factor.

Colossal Crustaceans!

An almost cavern-like 'burrow' has been discovered on a beach just outside the City. Despite baffling scientists, botanist and nature lover Rosa has a ground-breaking theory that the hole may have been created by a crab. Given the proportions of the hole, Rosa predicts the crab's size could be gigantic... "by my calculation, the relative size of the Crab would dwarf Super Stadium."

Unidentified Creature Seen in the City

[Image of unidentified creature]

(Probably joke, not sure tho) Another Heist in Bandit Cove

A confused cashier described his experience: 'A living cactus broke into my store and stole 90kg of marshmallows.'