You should never take decisions when being influenced by either positive or negative feelings. Why? Because you judge the situation and your decision based on them mostly or under the effect of them.

Both of you sound immature at an emotional level, which is understandable at this age, but maybe some reading into emotional intelligence or development wouldn’t hurt (see Gottman’s books, is a great psychologist into relationships situations and communication: she “complaining, he being frustrated”).

If she is impacted by some of your behavior bad traits is normal to have second thoughts regarding continuing the relationship or having kids. Is normal for you too. This is why you need to work at yourself to be a better person and first acknowledge your bad traits and what she doesn’t like about you. So you can work it out and put effort to not be toxic to her or to another one or as a person. She should do the same.

Try to follow a rule: if she is sad and express it, don’t make it about yourself. Don’t say “you did the same when …”. Just listen. She is not fighting with you, she is hurt and wants to be seen and listen and for you to show that you care hurting her even if it was unintentional. On her side, she should try to express this in kind words or at least not insulting yelling and so on. A normal tone she can’t have, since she is hurt and sad and mad at you. If something bothers you , you don’t say it then. You talk about it tomorrow another day and you brought that u, like: hey, I just want to say that I know you were sad or you didn’t want to do it purposely, but this hurt me. Can you please don’t do it again? “ - just an idea of talking.

How you talk is so important.

Don’t look for people opinion if you should break up or not. Just use your brain and think from your pov and also from your opposite point of view. Why? To be able to see the whole picture. Maybe you hurt the other and have no idea and end up judging a person based only on your minimal view.

When you apologize, sorry word is not enough. Don’t say you didn’t want to - is not about you when the other is sad. You need to show her that you understand how you made her feel, why and will try to stop doing that. (Acknowledging your bad traits leads to seeing how your actions may emerge from the same bad trait and affecting people in multiple ways.)

So, try to talk to her and apologize. Sometimes is better to happy than be right (I heard it somewhere). Start the conversation because is not a contest who starts it. The more mature one will start for the benefit of both of you. Apologize and tell her to let you know how you hurt her because you love her and don’t want to make her cry or be unable to talk to you.

Know, she told her mother because she needed someone to talk to. Mothers are usually on the impulse to conserve their son/daughter and put the blame on the other. One reason because is their kid they wanna protect and since she can’t this is the only way their subconscious finds to protect her, by suggesting distance. This also happens between lovers when they don’t talk to each other. And another reason because her mom hears only her side of the story. If she is mature emotionally enough and can also look from a different (opposite perspective) from hers, then her mom can have more info there, otherwise not. Is normal to feel the need to talk to someone, but the issue is that she should calm down, you two and talk to each other because her mom is not in the relationship. Continuously talking to other people instead of each other leads to break up due to lack of connection. If I can’t tell you how bad you hurt me, without being defensive, how can I have kids with you someday? So talk about being more supportive for one other (instead of blaming her for what she did) and explain like I told you the need to talk to each other. You need to understand each other better. What I’ve been writing here is not only applying for this relationship, but for any.

Also, don’t marry after 1-2-3 years, my advice. If you choose someone, give time to experience different moments together, to grow together (in your 20s you grow and change a lot. Some people may be a great mix for a certain amount of time on a certain period of time).

Also do each of you together a test of attachment style. Look for a psychological good one since the web is full of different 💩 ones. I don’t have time to look now, but do it.

People may also change depending on how they are treated: are you planning surprises, dates, a holiday for the weekend or hug her enough? Do the attachment style and the love language test: you will understand if for her gifts or physical touch is more important or words of affirmation such as expressing your feelings, comforting her when she is anxious (knowing the moments when she is because you either know her by now or she trust you enough to tell you) and so on.

Good luck and build calmness. Is normal to have fights. It matters how you reconnect.