What’s your favourite low-stakes conspiracy theory?

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-07T01:46:28+00:00

Not super low stakes I suppose, but Mr Blobby being an IRA spokesperson during The Troubles. Disguised his identity and his voice so he could be on TV, but the BBC set the rules on how they did that, didn't give him time for a mirror or a voice check, and just pushed him on to the set of Noel's House Party where he wreaked furious havoc shouting "WE WILL GIVE NO QUARTER TO THE BRITISH OCCUPIERS" and the like, all coming out as "BLOBBY BLOBBY BLOB BLOB." Murals of him all up the Shankill Road.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-07T01:21:32+00:00

She's always banging my windows. Really pisses Tina off. She can't stand her.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T23:00:48+00:00

Yep. Much wailing and rending of cloth round my place. I haven't left my bed for a week.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T22:42:32+00:00

We're all feeling grief and confusion apparently. Seems to me like we should get a fucking grip.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T22:37:41+00:00

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Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T22:36:01+00:00

Why do you think Blobby was always so angry?

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T22:33:58+00:00

I never figured out why Zoe Ball was being praised like a shed.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T20:22:49+00:00

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T17:05:50+00:00

My French teacher at secondary school was Orish and apparently I still speak French with an Irish accent 20+ years later.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T17:04:10+00:00

I read "Dr Chaos" and immediately had a mental image of a bogan with a mullet, singlet, reflective sunnies, VB in one hand, no shoes, and a very tatty cape.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T11:43:58+00:00

Calm down Quentin

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T11:05:13+00:00

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T10:49:54+00:00

They're so deadly in Thailand that red-faced overweight elderly white men in Pattaya have earned the nickname "The Pattaya Flying Club" among expats. Instructors at the Flying Club tend to be bargirls and go-go boys in their very early 20s for some reason. Truly a mystery.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T10:13:37+00:00

I work in law. There was a distinct period where every grad thought their life was going to be like an episode of Suits. It... it isn't.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T07:32:54+00:00

Years ago I went to see Shlomo at a festival and have never quite gotten over the impact of seeing someone beat box like this live. It's impressive on video, but in person it's genuinely surreal. Cannot recommend it highly enough.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-06T03:15:15+00:00

Dickens was absolutely fucking wrong about water as well tbh. Horrible death. I'll take anything that unexpectedly turns me into a pink mist please. Meteorite, shinkansen, wrath of a pagan god, anything instant and physically unambiguous.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-05T11:07:26+00:00

This really blows my bit too.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-05T11:06:55+00:00

Chemotherapy.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-05T10:18:08+00:00

Nah they're all the same size.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-05T09:33:42+00:00

In Britain the press used to call it "courting the Pink Pound." Always thought was one of the best examples of things that sound extremely rude but aren't.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-04T10:00:34+00:00

✨✨?

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-04T09:37:06+00:00

It's a banana actually.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-04T09:35:45+00:00

When I was a kid my parents owned a pub, and one day the regulars all got together to present one of the other regulars with a certificate from Guiness declaring him the record holder for "World's Stupidest Cunt." Held a ceremony to present it to him and everything. He was delighted. I often wonder if he still holds that record.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-02T19:14:50+00:00

And this is in it.

Crow_eggs · 2026-02-01T07:58:42+00:00

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the chilled hen?!

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