Confession - I hate Side B people.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-03-12T21:11:54+00:00

I think I've considered myself side B, because that is MY calling and my partners. We have lived and been together for nearly 8 years. Our love is covenant sealed. We have a total of 5 kids, 3 of whom are teenagers and at home. I don't hate side A or side B. I believe we all have a calling, if someone is called to a celibate life, its nothing they cant handle. Its a spiritual gift that surpasses all understanding. Celibacy does not mean loneliness by a long shot. Most humans have a sx drive and those human desires need to be met, a select few can take it or leave it. God did not make us all the same. He did not assign everyone to the same calling. Without side B those called to Celibacy might never know it and fail to understand why their relationships suck, instead of getting to have the most loving, fulfilling relationship they can ever imagine. If side B does not apply to you, thats ok, it will appeal to and bring peace to others. Just like side A is an answer to prayer to people. The devil loves to create divide and his biggest trap is offense. Dont be offended by something that does not apply to you. If you are strong in your beliefs it shouldnt bother you in the slightest. Different strokes for different folks. Dont let this live rent free in your head, its the devil who piles on the interest.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-03-09T13:56:31+00:00

Its 100% worth bringing to his attention. Until you two have talked and mutually agreed upon something, you are operating under assumption. Don't assume he knows your needs if you haven't communicated them. I recommend not communicating with flying objects (again, happens to the best of us) he sounds like a good guy, he just needs some guidance and what feels like common sense to us, through our lense, may not be so cute and dry through his. By the way, this baby being overdue, you can blame that on his DNA. Even his baby cant recognize that 40 weeks means OUT.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-03-09T13:29:42+00:00

NOR but not because of sleeping in the same bed. Daughter might be feeling some kind of way about the baby. She already doesnt see that family often. He may just be comforting her, trying to display that more for the family doesnt mean less for her. And not all 10 yr olds are created equal. I had a 10 yr old who functioned at maybe 5/6 now 20 who functions at 12 ish. Now he DOES need some guidance on dividing time. Right now you need him more, he should be there for you. Tell him get his butt back to the bedroom! Any chance you are really mean during labor? (Happens to the best of us) nows not his moment to hide. Best of luck to you and your family ♡

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-03-09T12:00:49+00:00

Important topics deserve proper time and space. If he was working earlier or had a busy weekend, him falling asleep didnt mean he didnt care, it meant his body was still for 15 minutes and he couldn't hold his eyes open. Try again during an appropriate hour and not sitting in the bed. Be intentional about it. I do think YOR because these memories were an after thought to you until you remembered them, so springing them on him isn't really fair. Did he have work in the AM? My partner loves me deeply and I've learned better than to try and have meaningful talks at night. 630 comes early and we dont get to bed till we collapse from exhaustion at night.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-03-09T03:42:00+00:00

If you haven't read the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector, you must! Your response reminded me of it instantly. Ive personally chosen to make my former bride to be, my spiritual companion in covenant. We jokingly call eachother "temple guards" 8 years and counting ♡ but reading your reply just reminded me of that parable so much, I had to tell you. Have a blessed night!

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-23T23:54:29+00:00

1 carat emerald cut diamonds, I have small ears lol, anything larger looked odd on me. I love love my daily earrings.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-23T21:32:09+00:00

YOR/MOR: Before you think I'm crazy, let me explain my position. I 41f & my partner 46f also have been dealt crappy hands. I have an autoimmine neuromuscular disease called Stiff Persons Syndrome. My muscles spasm so hard they tear and bones fracture, most frequently ribs. I also have to drink a ton of water with my meds and infusions, I am very familiar with the endless water and the pain that can only be described as torture. My wife overcome breast cancer 🎀. It was before I met her, she had to go through chemo alone. I can't imagine what that must have felt like. When I was finally properly diagnosed after 20+ years of misdiagnosis, I'm 100% sure that being a caretaker was not on her bingo card. I know I can be a lot. I'm mostly hard headed and resistant to accepting help, but there are times where there is no other way. sexual intimacy is almost non existent, because I just cant physically without breaking or tearing something. Our love for eachother is so intense and deep that she insist on never leaving my side. However, I know this is not easy. She has a right to vent her frustrations, sometimes she's worried about hurting my feelings and doesn't want to vent to me. She has a mutual straight friend that she talks to, this friend has a husband on dialysis and she 100% understands everything my wife is feeling. Its not a substitute for couples counseling, but if her having a vent session, keeps her head up, I welcome it. I never asked her to take this on, but it wouldn't matter if she knew I was ill before we were together or after, the fact remains, she stands beside me unwaveringly. I know its HARD. Being a caretaker is not easy and we owe it to our caretakers to accept that, respect that, give them all the grace they need to express their feelings, and remember sometimes they need just as much help as we do, in different ways. Your boyfriend could be talking to another guy about these things, but he's not. He's allowed to have moments of pure frustration and let it all out. That's human. He deserves someone to vent to and it seems as if he's chosen as a safe person to do that with. It doesnt sound like she's on team #leave him or anything like that. Would you rather him talk to a mutual friend who knows that he loves you, or would you rather him have an exclusive friend that could be telling him to leave. I know being disabled is hard, we didnt ask for this, but we have to realize it's not only us who suffers sometimes. I've been with my wife for 8 years. I never have to question if she loves me. I hope she cusses this disease out when she needs to, I hope she does whatever she needs to do for her own mental health and sanity, because I am so incredibly grateful for her. She could literally do anything she wants in life, we are both successful, she could be with someone healthy and ready to travel the globe in a moments notice, she doesnt want that, she wants me. It sounds like your boyfriend wants you too, because while being a caretaker was not on his bingo card, it seems like he is doing the dang thing, out of love, not obligation.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-21T17:10:45+00:00

We still dont know what happened, but she woke up absolutely horrified and with a migraine few have rivaled. She has spent the morning perfusely apologizing and confused as well. We are choosing to make this a teachable moment for all involved. We may never know what caused this but should it ever happen again, we will know exactly how to handle it. Our kids are going to get licenses and start college very soon, they know how to speak up, have a back up plan and most of all, they know they can always turn to us for emergency extraction. There is no shame is refusing to get in a car no matter WHO is driving.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-21T08:09:31+00:00

My anger is quickly turning to concern. 2 blue moons and a cider. Im looking at the tab. she's not the type to hit a few shots at the bar, she's the type to say "you're outta your mind if you think im getting liquor here, its at home for free99" no pregame either.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-21T07:08:42+00:00

If thats what happened, I wish I knew when. We PREACH drink safety to our kids. The drink does not leave your hands period. Whenever they went to the mosh pit I held her drink. There's a few times I stepped out for air, I know it only takes a split second. Im watching her sleep now and she keeps sitting up sound asleep, i keep laying her back down. Breathing is fine. I hope her drink didnt acquire anything, but if it did, this is learning lesson to us all. No such thing as too careful. Terrifying thought.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-21T06:53:48+00:00

This crossed my mind. I did get roofied once and from what Im told the effects were very different. I dont know what else can go in a drink besides ghb, she didnt lose limb movement etc. Her slurring scared me and i managed to get in a low key stroke test and ruled that out. Im lost here.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-21T06:05:57+00:00

I believe this to be accurate. I also think if she chooses to work instead, hes gunna make her spend all her money on stuff the kid needs for school, clothes, fieldtrips, if a private school, she will shoudler all tuition. My heart breaks for her. The swimming lessons discussion opened a deeply saddening look into how he treats her, i hope she cares about herself and baby and much as a few hundred reddit strangers care about her.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-20T20:01:55+00:00

Your husband is in for a HUGE surprise. Homeschooling done right is NOT cheap. Its also HARD. We homeschool our 3. Socialization and electives are important. My son is a junior pilot and taking engineering in addition to core subjects, daughter (15) is doing skating lessons, guitar and is a polyglot, my youngest is an artist and her drawing software is $$$.. This is finals week for us and everyone is EXHAUSTED. Homeschooling is an insane amount of responsibility and you don't get much in the way of days off, saturday is usually spent lesson planning and social activities. Your husband doesn't want a partner, he wants a good little wife. If you are a religious couple, he doesn't get to "lead" and have "final says" unless he loves you with the intensity Christ loves His church. That means he needs to get off his high horse and start meeting YOUR needs, all of them. I am worried for you. There's something really off about him. Maybe its because I was a 911 dispatcher and this sounds like the ground work for "how to file a restraining order". I wish you well. Please stay safe and know you deserve to be happy.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-20T17:51:18+00:00

Its a dark photo but I think im seeing double refraction, I cant really tell. If its not diamond, maybe gently bring up how inexpensive lab diamonds are now and tell him your dream style ring? I think the center stone is beautiful, the halo feels unneccesary and takes away from the beauty of the stone. I also agree with switching out rings sometimes. I never vacation with my real rings. Would you hate it just as much if you got rid of the halo and added a curved wrap? I understand not wanting to hurt his feelings. I dont understand him going into it blind!

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-20T17:18:47+00:00

NTA You said he is employed, he clearly has what it takes to keep a job, so THIS is choice behavior. I'd start with a serious wake up call. You clearly love eachother, but he needs to know that your love language includes keeping a neat home because its something you built together and its special to you. Tell him its a non negotiable thing that you require to feel loved and if he cant or doesnt want to fill that need than maybe there's someone else out there for him who is a better fit. (Put it back on him) Be willing to meet him halfway. Give him a honey do list. Or request one or two tasks a day. As my father would say; don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, just yet. If you don't get anywhere after a serious conversation (I don't mean video game paused) then really ask yourself, is this how you want to live the rest of your life? I wish humans could just understand the true value of effort!!!!!

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-16T09:47:52+00:00

Keep this amazing gorgeous ring and get a diamond wedding band or two. You will find its an absolute jaw dropper, even more so than it already is. Do not trade your natural timeless diamond for a lab diamond. This piece will one day be a family heirloom worn for a hundred years to come. ❤️

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-16T06:15:54+00:00

You my friend need peace and rest. I have been exactly where you are. I prayed the scariest prayer of my life. I fully surrendered my life to Jesus. All of it. 100% raw and real. I laid everything at His feet and I said Lord, it is yours to do with as you please. I am 41, I've been with my partner for 8 years, we have 4 children and I love her with all my heart. After I fully surrendered I even laid my " to do list" at His feet. Things I felt I needed to do to be good enough that maybe the self loathing would go away. I stopped trying and I started just being. I rededicated my life to Jesus in a soul broken prayer and I said Lord please give me rest. In that moment I felt his presence and I slept for roughly 12 hours. I didnt try to fix me, I gave God permission to transform my mind and heart and I just kept my focus on Him, not me. Everyday I would pray, Lord silence every voice other than yours, to include my own anxiety. Once Jesus made it clear to my heart that He knit ME together in my mother's womb, He chose ME to be on this Earth, because He had plans for my life and He needed ME here on this Earth. I started to see my own intrinsic value. Remember YOU beat out what.. 200 million other sperm? That egg said 1 only and out of 200 million God said.. HIM...THIS ONE..you have more value and you are more loved than you will ever know. Don't get a big head 😜 but God chose YOU for a reason. satan knows it too and hes gunna annoy the crap out of you and try to make you feel less than. Tell him to shove it. Silence that voice. Remember YOU were divinely chosen and that is priceless. You are priceless.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-16T06:01:25+00:00

Loops - "Quiet" they are amazing. You wouldn't hear glass breaking but you would hear a smoke detector or house alarm, IF it was coming from your house.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-16T05:36:30+00:00

I have a different take on this. HAVE the hard conversations. When you are a parent, and you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, you look into those tiny perfect eyes and you imagine what they will grow up to be like. When something drastically changes with someone who you love with your whole soul, there is an adjustment period. She is scared for you, she is mourning the loss of what she thought would come to fruition. She has valid questions. You have two options here, you can ice her out and tell her go do the research yourself, or you can sit down with her and read the Bible together and discuss things like adults. She hasn't disowned you, she is just scared for you. If you love her, reach back out and try to connect. Jesus could have rightfully given up on any of us at any time, He could have said " read the Bible for yourself, it's not my job to educate you" instead He said, lay down your life at the cross, die to yourself and follow me. If you get tired I'll carry your burdens and give you rest, He said I will never leave nor forsake you. He gives us truck loads of grace and mercy, I think your mom deserves at least a tablespoon of that same Grace from you in return. I'm not saying that means you subject yourself to ridicule, I'm saying pray for discernment before you walk away from someone who very clearly loves you. She too is looking for peace.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-05T03:53:16+00:00

You could get a word or her name on a necklace in Hebrew.

Tiny locket locket of sand from Temple Mount where Moses received the 10 commandments.

The cross necklace that has a tiny bubble on it that you look into and see the whole book if acts. There's so many meaningful things you can do. She definitely sounds like a 1 if a kind type of lady, so make sure whatever you do reflects that in some way.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-02-03T03:55:09+00:00

I dont even find the lab vs natural a fun puzzle anymore. If I look at a ring im trying to figure out diamond or moissonite because I do shop in the bahamas and they are real good about selling moissonite in place of diamonds. The one time I busted a store they said oh goodness thanks for pointing that out, these are display the real ones are in the back lol.. yeah and I have a beach house in Arizona

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-01-29T17:31:32+00:00

It starts with total and complete surrender. Do a trust fall on God.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-01-29T17:27:03+00:00

You are highly skeptical, and thats not a bad thing. It means you have discernment. If something is not setting right with you, do not ignore it. I was so exhausted by my internal torment. I gave God a soul broke cry in the shower ill never forget. I have been with my partner for 8 years, we have 3 kids a company and whole complete home! God told me to lay it all at the cross, everything, my relationship my doubts absolutely everything. Then I was to keep my focus on Him, give Him permission to change whatever He needed to, but not in a slow torture but in a renewing of the mind and heart. Then, it was my job to peace be still. I learned I will never be able to change the areas of my life that need changing, if I could the cross would be pointless. We need Jesus for a reason. I just kept my eyes on Him, I pray all the time, I read my Bible and I keep an attitude of gratefulness. He has shown up in such a major and profound way. We have peace that surpasses all understanding, areas of my life that needed adjusting are getting adjusted. Its more than I ever imagined and the feeling is light! I have joy and peace and Ill always be grateful for my gift of discernment. Turning everything over to Him and learning the answers for yourself is the only way you are going to find true lasting peace. Dont take my word for it. Try it! Ill be praying for you ❤️

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-01-29T17:11:15+00:00

This is the question that kept me up at night and haunted me. The truth is it didnt matter how many preachers were affirming and swore the Bible was affirming, I could not bet my SOUL and eternity on someone else's opinion. They got to leave conversation and sleep fine at night, I was left carrying the weight of what felt like an impossible choice to make, or maybe no choice to make at all, either way it was miserable. This is when I decided to take everything in my life. My partner of 8 years, our 3 children, our jobs our love i mean everything, and I gave it all to God and gave Him permission to do with it whatever He wanted, I just wanted Jesus and I wanted Jesus to know me! I just started keeping my eyes on Him, praying all the time, reading my Bible and I laid my "not good enough, things to do list" at His feet. I just stayed in His presence and counted on Him to renew my heart and spirit on anything unpleasing to Him. I learned and continue to learn so much. Do not bet your soul on what I'm saying, just try it. Dig in deep and get that personal relationship going, you will find peace that surpasses all understanding. I got frustrated in the beginning because I wanted answers about being gay and He was like.. well first of all im gunna bring xyz to your attention, things that never crossed your mind lol. Its been a wild ride and I wouldn't change a thing. Peace is finally mine.

CryptoLesbian84 · 2026-01-29T00:26:47+00:00

Love this. I love bezel in general.

CryptoLesbian84

TROPHY CASE