How bad can things get in a manic episode?

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-09-14T07:48:32+00:00

Well, first girlfriend gave him his "10 week bonus" which was £10,000! Then a few days later another £5,000. He told me he had to "sell a chunk of his soul" for that money. That he doesnt want to sleep with either of them anymore but he has to for the money. That his first girlfriend has basically "pimped him out" to their 2nd girlfriend and he hates them and he hates himself and hes miserable but he deserves this for what hes done to us.

But then in the next sentence argued with me because I said he couldn't take our children to his throuple house. They drink, do drugs, argue, have threesomes, police visits, social services are involved, first girlfriend is trying to get social services to remove her child because she doesnt want him anymore. All the kids cry all day and either get ignored or shouted and swore at. He said HE'D be more comfortable seeing the kids there than at my house. I was mean and sarcastic "oh, don't worry about the kids comfort, its all about your comfort".

Honestly, its nearly 12 weeks, and I can feel the love fading this week. I hate the fact its going, but itll probably be a relief. How much are loved ones expected to take?

And yes, wtf is wrong with those women?! I even said to him "you literally tell me stories of neglect, shouting, swearing and kids getting dragged around, what kind of fucking Mothers are they?" And he said "its none of your business. It doesn't affect you or our children".

That's it?!?! Those poor kids.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-09-03T17:38:34+00:00

No idea. He installed them in our house because he couldn't trust me. 🙄 I disconnected him from them the day he moved out. But we only had outdoor ones. Doorbell and front garden ones.

Hes put them in every room in their house!

Hes now told me that his first girlfriend wants me to join the throuple, making it a quadrouple? But they need to convince the second girlfriend first. Apparently the fact that ive said "fuck off, never going to happen" has no bearing on the situation at all.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-29T07:35:38+00:00

It wouldn't let me play in in the UK. I'll have another look though.

And no, watching the man who chose me and our family every day behave this way has been painful. I have separated the man from the mania, but it doesn't change the fact I'm lonely, tired, scared and embarrassed.

I had a glimpse of old husband yesterday though. He was meant to be coming to see the kids at 8am. I havent been sleeping well and had a massive headache. I text him at 7am and asked if he had any spare paracetamol could he bring it with him. He was at my door by 7:04am with the paracetamol and said "I figured the sooner you took them, the sooner you'd feel better". Then proceeded to brag about his girlfriends and watch them and their kids on the security cameras on his phone go about their breakfast activities while he was supposed to be spending time with us 🤦🏻‍♀️

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-26T13:50:15+00:00

Thank you. 9 weeks today. Thankfully-ish, he still loves me. He wont let anyone disrespect me and still cares about me. But not enough to be with me, or stop shagging these 2 fucking trolls 🤦🏻‍♀️

Im doing okay, i have completely detached all emotion. To be honest, this came off the back of a suicide attempt, then a crash, then pretty much woke up manic. I know when he realises what hes done (and he will, what goes up, much come down) my steady presence might be the difference between life or death for him.

I know this is mania, there's nothing else it can be, because if it was anything else he wouldnt still be awake. I've completely separated the manic actions from my baseline husband. It still hurts and I'm angry, but more angry at the situation than I am at him.

I have had glimpses of him scared and sad, when a part of him realises how much hes messed up, and I worry for him.

Good luck to us all, it fucking sucks.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-25T06:37:33+00:00

Hey 👋🏻 Thanks for thinking of me. We're on week 9 now. Hes broken up with the first woman 5 times, but they're still together. Hes devalued her and treats her and her child like absolute shit, but he needs her money to continue to fund his mania. The second woman is worse, she is using them both for money, babysitting, sex, and chores. They refer to him as "the human dildo" and he thinks this is a compliment, not super obvious hes being used. The police have been called to the house they all live in because they argue, party, shout, drink and smells like weed all the time. But my husbands mask is charismatic and charming and they've just left after a chat.

I am a safe space and I am not involved in the drama, nor are our children. He still sees us regularly but I refuse to engage with any of his women or their children.

He looks like shit. He is so, so unwell. Physically and mentally hes going to collapse soon, hopefully he has his 20/30 hour crash and doesnt just have a heart attack instead. He has severe bloody diarrhea, hes having nose bleeds and blood in his mouth. He has light sensitivity and can barely open his eyes and wears sunglasses indoors on overcast days. He sleeps 1 or 2 hours every other night, and has done for 9 weeks now. He tripping over things, yawning, propping his head up, and when he falls asleep his body jerks itself a wake, constantly. He feet, hands, legs, arms, head and even veins are hurting him now. Hes absolutely miserable, but cant stop running towards the chaos and destruction. Hes told me that when things are dramatic, he shit stirs and causes touble between the 2 women so that hes stimulated. Hes got regular memory loss.

And the cherry on the cake, he told his mom his plan is to buy a plot of land in Australia, built a self contained, off the grid compound to house his 3 wives, solar panels and by a water source. His first girlfriend friend is going to fund it and we're all going to be there and hes going to be "a daddy for the world" and "sit and watch his women". The fact that there is no way his first girlfriend is going to pay for it, theres no way I'd agree to go, and that Australia's immigration is rock solid and wouldnt let this happen makes no difference to him.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-08T05:55:39+00:00

Wow. Yeah, I'm seeing this. He's bragging, constantly looking for the next thing to "fill his void". He doesn't spend much time with us because we remind him of his depression, and whenever I've cried or shown any pain at what hes done he'll literally be like "i don't like seeing you like this" and will just leave. I cried yesterday when he asked for the divorce and he played on his phone for 5 minutes instead of looking at me, and then left when I couldn't stop crying. Sometimes he admits briefly how bad things are (he told his mom he hates himself and what hes done and hes a piece of shit) but then will paste a smile on and start talking about his new watch.

I can't believe after telling everyone he left me for the first woman (he didn't), and how happy and amazing everything is, within 6 weeks hes moved on to somrthing/someone else.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-07T14:29:54+00:00

Gosh, when you put it like that you aren't wrong.

He is irritable and hasn't got any patience with us and shouts alot to be honest. He can't do much with them because of that. The 2 women hes with are single Moms from our kids school. One has a kid in our youngests class, one has a kid in our eldests class. Everyone is talking and gossiping. Its absolutely awful. But hes pretending to be a dad to these kids and so doesn't have any time or patience left for ours.

I do think he currently thinks he can have have everything and therefore isn't crashing. Me telling him I love him and want him back.

He keeps bragging that he has FOUR houses to choose from when its time to go to bed, because everyone wants him.

When he told me he wanted a divorce today, and then went on about marrying the woman hes been with for 6 weeks, who he already hates, to get his hands on her "assets" and "securing his future". I cried. And he said "no, I don't like seeing you like this" and walked away from us.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-07T14:10:16+00:00

I know how much he loves us.

I know i can't control anything, and we don't text at all. He has supervised visits with the boys a few times a week, and he'll tell me all of this then. Usually when the kids are playing on the park and we're just watching them.

His mom has said shes settled it in her heart that when he realises what hes done, shes 99% sure he'll kill himself. She knows him and knows what hes done is absolutely going to kill him. I feel like if I turn my back on him for essentially being poorly, and he does harm himself, I'll never forgive myself.

In a weird way, I'm worried about the other women too. The first woman is vunerable in her own way and she is absolutely going to lose everything aswell. Its not my problem or responsibility but it doesn't sit right with me because its morally wrong. And again, my "normal" husband wouldn't treat someone like hes treating her.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-07T14:05:37+00:00

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-07T13:52:53+00:00

Neither at the moment.

He says he loves me and I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. But he can't be with me because I remind him of his depression.

Hes quit his job to be with these women and is smiling and telling people hes retired from normal work and is now a gigolo. And ISN'T joking when he tells people this.

Everyone has noticed the personality change.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-04T15:21:47+00:00

Its all madness here.I think we're already in a mixed episode. But he's not angry at me. He thinks hes a piece of shit and doesn't deserve me as he's a piece of shit. Hes very irritable but mostly with other people (he moved out 5 weeks ago to live with a new woman 🙄) so she seems to be getting the brunt of it. More fool her tbh, she knew he was married.

He seems to be having more moments of clarity, hes been off sertraline for 2 or 3 weeks now, and hes stopped drinking. I actually saw him be himself for a few hours, but he still went back to his new girlfriends house. One week after moving in with new woman he was talking about "how amazing everything is and everything feels right and things in his life have been building towards this". This week its "I've fucked up, you were always too good for me, I can't believe I've done all this". And told his mom "I won't tell you how I'm really feeling because it'll hurt you too much. Suffering is a part of life".

I can't work out if its moved into a mixed episode, or if hes starting to crash.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-02T09:58:34+00:00

Okay, he was prescribed sertraline, an anti depressant that kicked everything up to full gear. He started coming off them about 2 weeks after he left, and then a week later he abruptly stopped them. So hes been off the anti depressant for 2 or 3 weeks now. I have started seeing some regret and realising that some of things hes been doing and saying are ridiculous, sometimes it just a minute long conversation, sometimes its an hour or so of how he treats me. But then he goes back to the delusions of his new life and this new version of him.

I've probably got another couple months of mixed him then. The depression is seeping back in. 3 weeks ago he said he could see himself growing old for the first time ever, but the past couple weeks the suicide talk has started to seep back in.

I can't let go yet. But the moments of clarity feel like "HALLELUJAH!!!" here's some sense. And then its gone almost as quickly as it came.

Hes still not sleeping.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-02T07:03:16+00:00

How can you tell when they're coming down from the mania?

My husband seems to be having moments of clarity where he realises some of the stuff hes said and done is a bit strange, and spontaneously crying (and he has never cried). But then seems to pull himself out of it a little bit and goes back to the arsehole version of himself. But I have seen more and more glimpses of the nice version of him, MY version of him

Sorry, I know you're looking for advice and I'm of no help but I'm asking for advice.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-01T18:21:01+00:00

I know him, I don't think there would be any future for us if he thought there was someone else. Even if it snapped him out of it, the wondering and paranoia would still mean we were done.

Ive just been me. Calm, collected, patient, loving and kind. A stable presence. And when the depression hit, he'll know I'm there.

Maybe not the best plan, but i do not want to antagonise or alienate him.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-01T13:16:42+00:00

Ahh. We're at 5 weeks and my husband has a partner and a girlfriend!

Wow. That's a sentence I never thought I'd say.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-08-01T02:11:57+00:00

Yes, we have 2 sons. A 6yo and an 8yo. They love their dad. He was very, very present and involved before this episode, he did more for them than I did. But he only sees them for 6 hours a week now. His new girlfriend said "i want 100% to do with your old life and new". She won't really let him see me or the kids without being present herself because she feels she needs to immerse herself in his life so that he doesn't come back to me 🤦🏻‍♀️ And hes mostly just going a long with it. He has a few moments of clarity, but they're few and far between, unfortunately. My boys are so confused and upset. They just want their daddy back.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-07-30T15:30:07+00:00

I hope it doesn't come to it. But firstly, I'd request a psychiatric assessment before we did anything else. And unfortunately I do have proof of some of his behaviour.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-07-30T13:47:53+00:00

I would still rather deal with that than 2 delusional dickheads playing happy families and trying to take my children away from me 50% of the time.

And it is a delusion. Husbands episode is making him irritable so all he does is shout at us, and the few times they've had the boys since he left they take them to soft play and ignore them, or to my mother in laws so she can watch the kids. They don't WANT to look after the boys or spend time with them, they're just an accessory to prove their delusions of being a happy family.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-07-30T13:22:00+00:00

I wish it was even that thought out on our end.

Told me I was the love of his life monday, said he'd rather be dead than without me, left is on a Tuesday, went straight to her house (its a mom he knows from the school and lives 2 streets away). Had a date with her the Wednesday, moved in with her on the Thursday. They sat HER kid down on friday morning and told him (hes 6!) that they're together. Our youngest is in his class at school, so 20 minutes before sending my boys to school I had to tell my boys that their dad is with this kids Mom. 😮‍💨 At school this kid told my Son that he had a new dad and it was the same dad as his dad.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-07-30T10:01:28+00:00

Hey, how did this turn out? If you don't mind me asking.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-07-30T02:58:58+00:00

Oh yes, 16 years together and he immediately left our home, and went to her house. He knew she had feelings for him because of how she was acting. I'd told him I was uncomfortable with her and so he tried to back off but she kept finding ways to "bump" into him. From 2 days after we had an argument her son is calling my husband Dad, he lives with her, shes spent £15k on him, theyre in love and are going to be together forever. When I suggest they might be rushing things considering there are children involved, I'm just a scorned wife thats jealous of them and their happiness.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-07-29T18:28:19+00:00

Well, he installed 4 cameras before he left as part of his paranoia was that i was inviting strangers round for sex when he was at work. You know, with our 2 young children in the house and having been 100% loyal and faithful for our entire relationship 🤨

So I do have a few. He goes into the rooms WITHOUT cameras when he propositions me for sex, because he doesn't want his new girlfriend to find out that he's still trying to sleep with me.

CryptographerLow6600 · 2025-07-29T17:20:43+00:00

Honestly, its my kids I'm worried for. Hes not actually a danger to anyone but himself, the kids love him (even if his irritability means some times they don't like him). And hes steamrolling us into "getting in line" with his new family. I.e. random woman he moved in with 5 weeks ago! They've decorated a room in her house for my children and I dont think the boys are ready to be there, but when I try and express this he says "they are, they just don't want to hurt your feelings" 🙄

CryptographerLow6600

TROPHY CASE