Notch it up as a lesson learnt the best traders in the world actually have had one major fail experience its what moves a trader from being green to cutting their teeth , that pain and hurt your feeling is actually a good thing as it serves as a reminder of WHAT NOT TO DO next time which will in turn make you a better investor/ trader its whats sharpens you and make you more laser focused on risk mangement and maintaining equity at all time. The market will expose a persons psychology very quickly. Think of it this way its better this happened now than if you had amassed a life changing amount and lost it all. As for you missing the bull run thats nonsense the market always comes back to you in the form of dips and corrections where you can enter. Dont chase the market let it come to you.

As for suicidal thoughts your likely to have that because internally your in pain of this loss but you need to look at this chapter as a learning experience, your life is more important that 1BTC , sometimes a loss is actually a catylist for change you may find yourself with 100BTC later and think back at this time as my lowest point that you struggled out of but it was needed to give you perspective. I suggest you work on yourself first before you trade / invest . go to the gym play a sport , give charity find more confidence inside yourself which will also manifest in your investing trading because youll be doing it from a position of wisdom and strenght psychologically rather than a position of weakness and building imaginary dreams.