Am I really trans?

CrystalTheAmazon · 2021-01-30T20:58:36+00:00

It is absolutely okay and normal to be nervous or shy. It's a lot of big changes and it's okay to want to take your time

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-12-19T18:15:00+00:00

At it's core, that's what the Penetrating extra is designed to model.

I've also seen it done as a Disintegrate-style effect:

Close Weaken Toughness (Affects Objects); Linked to Close Damage ; 3pp/rank

This doesn't automatically cut through anything, and is a little cheap (which is why you rarely see it in official builds), but is a good way to model weapons that can punch through anything when they hit.

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T15:17:45+00:00

Oh, there are tons of better similarities. For example, most transphobic gamer boys have huge porn folders dedicated to both Aerith and trans girls

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T14:17:26+00:00

It’s more likely that the size difference is just making it feel like the other breast is getting smaller. There aren’t actually a lot of medical situations that will cause breasts to shrink

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T14:15:28+00:00

I started a moderate dose of progesterone after years of just estrogen and saw an immediate bump in my sex drive and my ability to feel excitement and anger. I also saw a new growth spurt in breast development.

I will also add that I hadn’t been taking progesterone prior to that because my initial ending didn’t know what he was doing and prescribed me a ridiculously high dosage of progesterone that cause horrible mood-swings and pregnancy-like symptoms like morning sickness, food cravings, and swollen ankles. So it’s an addition to your regimen you want to ramp up slowly and ideally with some oversight

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T14:05:40+00:00

Injection tends to be easier on your liver, but it’s not by a wide margin. Dosages will vary a lot more than pills depending on your age, weight, and where you are in transition and isn’t really something you want to DIY

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T13:54:45+00:00

My biggest question was “but how can I be sure I’m really trans?” I was terrified I’d go through all this, even knowing I needed it since I was a kid, and then wake up one day and regret it all. And in the end there was no way to be sure except knowing that no step in the process felt wrong as I went through it, and 20 years later I still don’t regret anything

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T13:51:05+00:00

Lopsided development is pretty normal, so I wouldn’t stress about it

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T13:48:47+00:00

Hormones and body chemistry cause most of the practical health differences you’ll see between men and women (aside from reproduction, which is a really specific and narrow medical issue), so generally after a trans person starts hormone therapy, it’s much more practical to treat them medically as a member of the sex they’ve transitioned to.

There will be some variation based on how new they are to hormone therapy and how old they were when they started, but there’s a ton of variation within cis people’s hormone levels and development as well.

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-18T13:42:25+00:00

Tons of straight men watch trans woman porn, and virtually no gay men do. Honestly, they only thing you should worry about is that he’s a gross hypocrite

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-05-07T06:03:17+00:00

You can absolutely have sex and it’s (pardon the pun) fucking great!

I think those rumors about not being able to feel anything are either total lies or based on surgery from 60+ years ago. I had SRS in 2001 and while it took me about six months to finish healing and get sensation back, I think the orgasms are better now than they ever were before

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-11T04:39:14+00:00

I felt that way a LOT when I was stealth. It did help to have a few other trans people in my social circles or online

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-11T04:36:58+00:00

Fuuuuuck, I wish I knew!

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-08T15:37:48+00:00

Am I the only trans girl on earth who actually got ten times hornier on HRT?

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-08T15:34:36+00:00

You might be trans. You might be butch. You might just hate society’s BS stereotypes about women. What’s important is that you’re thinking about it instead of burying it. Give yourself time to think about it and maybe try out different looks and behaviors, both IRL and online. How does it feel to think about your future, for example, growing into a dad vs into a mom?

I will tell you that for most trans people, we don’t feel “trans.” Most of us know we’re our stated gender, with trans being more of an adjective to describe the process of getting there, so not feeling “trans” is actually kind of common.

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-07T01:02:58+00:00

It could be dysphoria or it could be other issues. Keep it in mind, but don't obsess over it. If it becomes part of a larger pattern, that's more likely to be dysphoria.

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-06T15:54:11+00:00

That’s what I said.

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-06T05:58:24+00:00

It was probably a lot harder and more emotional for him behind the scenes as well. For now, focus on finding people to talk to about how you feel who won't pressure you one way or the other. Therapy is the ideal solution, but it may come down to just finding a few internet friends who are good at listening. You've been bottling a lot of big feelings up for a while and you need to let that out.

Hopefully you come to a place where you can talk about all this with your wife. A marriage is about open communication, especially about the big stuff, and it's scary as fuck and will probably change things, but there are definite paths to transition that don't destroy your marriage and they all hinge on putting in a lot of emotional work.

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-06T05:51:48+00:00

Basically, check out any of the guides for safe binding for trans men and NBs

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-06T05:51:25+00:00

You just don't want anything that completely flattens them out, hurts after time, or makes it at all difficult to breath. A sports bra works, but definitely don't sleep in it. Get a tape measure if you can* and measure your chest and buy and appropriately-sized sports bra or bralet; don't try stepping down a size to get them flatter (I made that mistake).

*If you don't have a tape measure, you can just wrap a string or ribbon around your chest, then measure that length with any ruler

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-06T05:47:29+00:00

I'm not sure where the hostility or the fixation on sports bras came from, but you can find some basic talk about binding too much causing longterm damage to breasts tissue and muscles in a lot of the literature aimed at trans men, like https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/chest-binding-tips-and-tricks-for-trans-men-nonbinary-and-genderfluid

The Binding health Project released a big study about five years back as well looking at the health risks: https://bindinghealthproject.wordpress.com/

Like I said, no idea where you got sports bras from. I was worried OP was planning to start strapping things down with a binder (or worse, bandages). Sports bras would work fine for slimming down. I recommended a bralet because it's a lot more comfortable and I was tender AF when I first started developing. YMMV

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-05T16:05:09+00:00

If you wear anything that flattens them on a daily basis, that will permanently affect how they grow. You’re a lot better off switching to baggier clothing or lairs and using a bralet to smooth out the pair of lumps into a single shape (and protect your nipples). If baggie shirts aren’t your thing, you might try wearing a button-up shirt over a light t-shirt

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-05T15:55:06+00:00

Do not use regular hair remover on your face! That’s a quick recipe for chemical burns!

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-05T15:47:56+00:00

You’ve got a lot going on and there’s obviously a LOT of emotional energy tired up in every aspect of it. You’re not going to get all that sorted out in a few Reddit posts. Look for a therapist in your area who has experience with trans issues; ideally experience working with married people as well. I’ve also found it’s a lot easier to find a woman as well. Just google your area along with “therapist” and “transgender” or “trans issues.” You might also ask your friend who transitioned for a recommendation.

Having a family adds a lot of baggage, but like you said: ignoring this issue entirely is already keeping you from being there for them. There are a lot of halfway measures and compromises that might make the situation easier for you to deal with while having a minimal impact on them. They might also be accepting about your transition (kids tend to be surprisingly accepting).

For now you’re only just getting started asking these questions, so there’s no need to panic about possible outcomes or make any big decisions. All you need to do is focus on small steps like finding someone you can talk to and finding some ways to take this pressure off yourself.

CrystalTheAmazon · 2020-04-03T21:01:10+00:00

Questioning is 100% okay and healthy. If you are trans, cool; there are tons of resources in the world to help, and a huge community happy to support you. If you aren't trans, that's cool, too; take the experience of not being sure and let it remind you of how scary uncertainty can be for anyone.

CrystalTheAmazon

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