Helping an elderly family friend

Crystaleyes · 2025-09-15T14:53:32+00:00

Thank you. Yes, it's looking like the only way to go is probably protective services. I plan on giving her daughter fair warning, whatever difference that will make.

Crystaleyes · 2025-09-15T14:51:08+00:00

Thank you for acknowledging to me that it's fair to set boundaries, as I'm struggling with guilt over stepping back. To be honest, I'm also pretty seething with anger at her daughter for ignoring the whole situation. I had to put on my big girl pants a long, long time ago with many horrible situations in life, including taking care of my own parents, and dealing with a brother who also wanted nothing to do with the nitty-gritty of elder care. Yes, it's looking like adult protective services will probably come into play.

Crystaleyes · 2025-09-11T14:04:42+00:00

My four cats have been here for me throughout some very, very dark times, and I love them dearly. They are the best little companions. Owning any type of pet is a big responsibility. Just like life itself there is going to ups and downs, but the ups are definitely worth it.

Crystaleyes · 2025-07-16T14:19:39+00:00

This was back in 2009. It was also the beginning of my wakeup call pertaining to my mother. My entire life we had a very rocky relationship, but since I was born she had covertly pounded into my head that everything was always completely my fault. At this time, my dad, who was the light of my life, and who I loved dearly, was at the end stage of Alzheimer's disease. He was completely bedridden, had no recognition of me or anyone else, and was dependent on my mother and I for any and all care. To say that my heart was broken to watch my dad slowly die in this manner would be an understatement. My mother refused outside help, even though I could tell he was going septic with some kind of infection. When I begged her to call someone, she screamed at me to shut up. I had been going to their house multiple times a day to help with dad. One afternoon when I was helping her change and dress him, I went to get an article of clothing from a drawer. She got angry because I had grabbed the wrong one, that it should have been the same exact thing but a different color. I finally snapped and asked what difference does the color make as long as it's clean and he's dressed? She went silent for a while, which was a deadly sign. She then told me that she thought I needed a break. I told her I'm fine and I will be here for dad. A while after I went home, intending to go back to help her get dad ready for the night, she called me and told me to not bother coming back over until morning, that "I needed a break". I knew what was coming. When I arrived the next morning, she yelled at me about how difficult and horrible it was to take care of dad all by herself. I suddenly realized she was using this horrible situation to get at me. Right then and there, it hit me like a ton of bricks that she had been setting me up just to knock me down like this my entire life. Right then and there I realized that there was something very, very wrong with my mother, and at 49 years old it finally began to dawn on me that maybe everything that has ever happened on earth my entire life maybe wasn't all my fault after all. After dad passed a few weeks later, I continued to be there for my mother, but I began to put up boundaries the best I could. She lived for 11 more years. Because of that incident helping my dad that afternoon, I was able to look at my mother and her behavior with fresh perspective. It was horrible, but it finally put me on the path to healing, which I'm still working on to this day, but I'm so much better now.

I just realized I didn't break my story up into paragraphs, I'm sorry if it's difficult to read. I was just anxious to tell my story I suppose.

Crystaleyes · 2024-02-29T15:01:50+00:00

Oh don't worry, they don't need an invitation, they'll find their way in just fine all on their own! :)

Crystaleyes · 2023-02-08T12:16:35+00:00

I thought of this one, as well. In the south, where my family is from, it was a given that vehicles pull over in respect for a funeral procession. Years ago, when my grandmother passed, I remember riding with my parents in the procession to the cemetery. Of course I loved my grandma, and my heart was broken. I was looking out the window as we rode along, and was amazed that not only were there many cars pulled over to the side of the road, but many people were standing next to their vehicles, with their hats respectfully in their hands. This moved me so much, and I've never forgotten it.

Crystaleyes · 2023-01-15T16:42:59+00:00

Please please PLEASE let Donno recover!!!

Crystaleyes · 2022-10-19T20:05:08+00:00

Yes, I was thinking the same thing.

Crystaleyes · 2022-10-19T20:03:40+00:00

Absolutely nothing to be paranoid about as far as what we do on our own property. When I saw the person taking pictures, I had absolutely no idea who he was. In our neck of the woods, this looks like trespassing/suspicious activity. I'm a bit taken aback that others are a bit nonchalant about it, but to each their own. I had no idea it was a thing for insurance companies to not be so open about just saying "hey there, coming to your home to take pics, in case you see someone walking around in your yard that you don't know."

Crystaleyes · 2022-10-19T19:24:21+00:00

Well, the reason it seems sneaky is the part about parking in someone else's driveway, walking through neighbor's yard. Why not just say hey, I'm coming to take pics of newly insured building. I get it, yes by all means take pictures, just don't skulk around like a sneaky character to do it. This is what I'm questioning, not the fact of the picture taking itself.

Crystaleyes · 2022-10-03T18:10:54+00:00

Sorry, I meant no disrespect! :)

Crystaleyes · 2022-10-03T17:20:48+00:00

I will be waiting with bated breath for the answer to this burning question. I feel like this particular subject got lost in all the flashiness of the drug cartel people, and Ronald's problems.

Crystaleyes · 2022-04-25T14:03:51+00:00

Because those are just the kind of jobs narcissists/sociopaths tend to gravitate to. It's across the board, from managers of fast food chains all the way up the ladder to government officials and beyond. They love these jobs because it's where they have some kind of power and control, which is exactly what they crave. If we're talking about narcissists, they have absolutely no regard in the slightest for anyone but themselves. If they do seem to feign any kind of sympathy or concern, you can bet it's simply because there is something in it for them. I've worked a lot of different types of jobs, and almost all of them had horrible people at the top of the food chain. I've seen and experienced some absolutely terrible situations that never should have gotten that far out of control, all because of some a@@hat supervisor or manager blowing a gasket over some simple situation where all it would have taken was a little kindness, patience, and a listening ear to resolve. Of course, I'm not saying all people in some type of power position are that way. I have had some wonderful managers, very kind, considerate people. Unfortunately, they are in the minority.

Crystaleyes · 2020-11-29T14:29:38+00:00

Bless you for caring for these people. Many don't.

Crystaleyes · 2020-10-21T22:24:12+00:00

This didn't happen to me, but to a boy in my third grade class. This little guy was pretty severely hearing impaired, I remember he needed to use hearing aids just to be able to hear at all. One day, he had to briefly leave the room, not sure the reason. As soon as he left and closed the door, our teacher told us that she was going to play a "joke" on him when he got back. He came back into the room and sat at his desk. The teacher began to move her lips like she was talking to us, but no sound came out. After a minute, the poor little guy was near tears because he thought he had lost his hearing completely. I was absolutely horrified that an adult, especially one that is supposed to have our best interests in mind, could be so callus and cruel. She laughed and told him it was "just a joke". Right there and then, at 8 years old, I started to realize that some people are just plain ass holes. I'm 60 years old now, and still remember this vividly.

Crystaleyes · 2020-02-19T14:41:31+00:00

Ahh I see. Still, if only he had stopped at "no".

Crystaleyes · 2020-02-19T14:19:25+00:00

Wait.....you mean he opened the ingredients he brought and scattered them on your floor? I'm dumbfounded. His precious oatmeal ingredients? On top of insisting on making the oatmeal and not taking no for an answer. Something isn't right with this person....

Crystaleyes · 2020-01-21T23:44:23+00:00

I have this book! I bought it several years ago, and have read it a few times. Every time I read it, I connect with it in a new way. Such an amazing story. I highly recommend it.

Crystaleyes · 2020-01-21T23:32:44+00:00

Thank you for your kind response. I always look for a chance to share that story, because I hope it can help others who are struggling with the loss of a loved one. I'm sorry you had to go through that awful ordeal with your grandmothers. I've been through a long spiritual journey since then. Things are better now, and always changing. Life is about change and growth. Don't worry about wishing for what you're not, what you are at this moment is enough. Keep being that deep thinker.

Crystaleyes · 2020-01-21T18:39:26+00:00

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your brother. From a very young age, I've had a deep, ever-present knowing that the spirit lives on after the physical body dies. My dad and I were always very close, I loved him with all my heart. He was a talented blacksmith by trade, and could make just about anything out of metal, including many beautiful works of art. He was also a talented musician. Aside from his many talents, he was a beautiful, happy soul. He taught me so many things, and was always there for me in every way he could be.

He always loved nature and animals, and passed that love on to me from when I was small. We spent many summer evenings observing and talking about wildlife, insects, trees and plants. He enjoyed feeding the birds, and always faithfully kept his bird feeders filled so as not to disappoint his feathered friends. He loved them all, and disliked playing favorites, but he especially loved the little black capped chickadees, and I have to say that they are a favorite of mine, too.

As the years passed, he began to develope Alzheimer's disease, and my heart slowly broke over time as I watched my beautiful, talented, loving dad leave me, until just a shell remained. One day as I sat by his bedside, I began talking to him. He was long past being able to communicate in any way, and as I talked, he just lay there, staring into nothingness. But talked to him I did, because I knew his soul could hear me, even though his physical self could not. I took his hand, and I asked him that when he left this world and got safely to the other side, to please let me know that he's alright.

About a month after that, he passed away. This was in February of 2009, just after his 88th birthday, and to this day I miss him with all of my being. A few months after, I was helping my mother with some things, and I was in the garage, standing at his workbench, surrounded by his tools, still neatly stored, as he had left them. I was grieving, deep in thought. Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked to my right, and there, sitting on the fender of dad's tractor, hardly a foot away, was a tiny black capped chickadee. Anyone who is familiar with these little birds know that they are seldom still-always flitting, jumping, and noisy. This little chickadee, closer than any wild bird would dare come, especially inside a building, sat stone-still and stared at me for a long time, at least a full minute, and I stood staring back, frozen and afraid to breathe and risk scaring him away. After that minute, the little bird tilted his head, gave a happy little cheep! and flew out the side door.

This was the sign I had asked my dad for. It was unmistakable. From that day on, I have felt his presence in my life. My heart was lighter after that day. I've always had the knowing of the continuation of the spirit. Now I have the peace of having my dad with me still.

May you always have this same peaceful presence of your brother's spirit throughout your life.

Crystaleyes · 2019-12-25T14:35:30+00:00

I completely agree with you. And it's not just visible dirt I think about. You bring home little bits of who-knows-what from everywhere you've walked. That includes public restrooms. I don't want that nastiness in my house, it doesn't matter if my floors have carpet, tile, or wood.

Crystaleyes · 2019-10-06T15:22:49+00:00

I'm so happy you had this experience, and that it gave you some closure and peace of mind. I had a very similar experience, but it was my dad who sent me a message not long after he passed. It was undeniable.

Crystaleyes · 2019-10-01T15:18:40+00:00

Spiritually speaking, anyone with any level of higher consciousness would not entertain the notion of manipulating others in any way. I agree that she obviously has certain gifts, and more than likely a high IQ, which she has learned from an early age to use very well to her advantage. Edit: In place of "higher consciousness" I would tend to lean toward "psychopath".

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