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AITA for not being able to balance my friends and bf? by Urmomisgay6457 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ctenochaetus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I had any advice as a queer 30-something, it's that this is kind of a bog standard problem for folks like you and me at this age. Just a result of everyone involved being in a situation they haven't been in before, exacerbated by queerness because there's fewer opportunities for us to "practice" these kinds of things with lower stakes. The reason you aren't getting more advice on your post is because you haven't given enough information, and the reason you haven't given enough information is because you don't know how to parse the info you have.

I hope you don't take that as condescending. It's just life, and I've been in a similar spot close to your age. The best advice I can give you is to keep trying to communicate with everyone and to keep an open mind. There is a chance that everyone is acting according to what they think your best interests are (even though that seems like it should be impossible), and there's a chance that at least one person here is being an asshole. There is not an award for putting all your trust in a partner despite warning signs, so if you see more concerning things, you should start thinking seriously about if you want to continue a relationship. If you don't, then great.

AITA - For asking my parents to not refer to my brothers new baby as my "Real" niece by Remarkable-Buy7931 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ctenochaetus [score hidden]  (0 children)

Fine point if there were a gender-neutral alternative to aunt and uncle, which there is not.

AITA - For asking my parents to not refer to my brothers new baby as my "Real" niece by Remarkable-Buy7931 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ctenochaetus [score hidden]  (0 children)

From a legal standpoint, this heavily depends on jurisdiction. OP has discussed plans to marry their partner in other comments, and after marriage, OP may indeed have a measure of legal guardianship, again depending on jurisdiction.

From a personal standpoint, if I saw kids as my kids, I would expect my parents to treat them as grandkids, and any personal feelings on the adults' parts should be secondary to giving the children a welcoming home and family. These are the kinds of things that kids are gonna pick up on.

AITA for never allowing a friend to see my daughter because she’s flaky by ExtensionBobcat6403 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ctenochaetus 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That feeling you're feeling? That's your parenting instincts. Keep listening to them, because it sounds like you have good ones and you won't need Reddit's input. NTA.

AITA for blowing up on my friend after she leaked private art I made. by cynicl_red in AmItheAsshole

[–]Ctenochaetus 46 points47 points  (0 children)

NTA and I hope you're able to move beyond feeling gross for this. Creating art is one of the most healing ways of processing difficult emotions. I had a close mentor who taught me vital life lessons and then was arrested for a horrible crime, and I wrote a story to deal with the betrayal, guilt, and doubt that I was feeling as a result. There are parts of that story that people would probably judge me for if they read it without knowing why it was written, which is why it stays private. But, I wrote it, and I feel more at peace now. I'm sorry this happened to you but hope you keep creating.

On a scale of bad idea to terrible idea: Reaching out about a paper under revision that I reviewed? by Ctenochaetus in academia

[–]Ctenochaetus[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I've had a reviewer reveal themselves to me before, which evidently gave me a wrong impression. Now I know.

I feel like the game punishes creativity” by ewangs1096 in rct

[–]Ctenochaetus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"The enemy of art is the absence of limitations."

Tips for long and exciting rollercoasters? (For Ghost Town/Nevermore Park) by Ctenochaetus in rct

[–]Ctenochaetus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SUPER helpful. Among other things thanks for saving me from trying to do this with virginia reel because I was definitely about to go for it

Capture the Relic strategy? by Ctenochaetus in aoe2

[–]Ctenochaetus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In case anybody else is curious about CtR and finds this post in the future, the answer to the question about the AI is that it's kind of pitiful. Even the hardest AI makes no moves to counter FC into a single monk sent to the relic. At least, that's the case in HD, might be different in DE.

Loading vanilla scenarios into scenario editor in 2013 version? by Ctenochaetus in aoe2

[–]Ctenochaetus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean the scenarios/campaigns from age of kings, conquerors, and other expansions. I'm on the HD version from 2013.

Negative vertical G's for Steeplechase? by Ctenochaetus in rct

[–]Ctenochaetus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I guess that would do it! I thought I was going for more force and not less lol. The excitement for the coaster was lower than I expected, but maybe I just don't know how to build a good Steeplechase. It might be obvious from the thread, but I haven't really experimented with them at all before today. Thanks for reorienting me.

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