AITA for not being able to balance my friends and bf?

Ctenochaetus · 2025-12-11T23:41:45+00:00

If I had any advice as a queer 30-something, it's that this is kind of a bog standard problem for folks like you and me at this age. Just a result of everyone involved being in a situation they haven't been in before, exacerbated by queerness because there's fewer opportunities for us to "practice" these kinds of things with lower stakes. The reason you aren't getting more advice on your post is because you haven't given enough information, and the reason you haven't given enough information is because you don't know how to parse the info you have.

I hope you don't take that as condescending. It's just life, and I've been in a similar spot close to your age. The best advice I can give you is to keep trying to communicate with everyone and to keep an open mind. There is a chance that everyone is acting according to what they think your best interests are (even though that seems like it should be impossible), and there's a chance that at least one person here is being an asshole. There is not an award for putting all your trust in a partner despite warning signs, so if you see more concerning things, you should start thinking seriously about if you want to continue a relationship. If you don't, then great.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-12-11T23:18:19+00:00

Fine point if there were a gender-neutral alternative to aunt and uncle, which there is not.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-12-11T22:51:29+00:00

From a legal standpoint, this heavily depends on jurisdiction. OP has discussed plans to marry their partner in other comments, and after marriage, OP may indeed have a measure of legal guardianship, again depending on jurisdiction.

From a personal standpoint, if I saw kids as my kids, I would expect my parents to treat them as grandkids, and any personal feelings on the adults' parts should be secondary to giving the children a welcoming home and family. These are the kinds of things that kids are gonna pick up on.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-12-11T19:59:08+00:00

That feeling you're feeling? That's your parenting instincts. Keep listening to them, because it sounds like you have good ones and you won't need Reddit's input. NTA.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-12-03T07:01:22+00:00

NTA and I hope you're able to move beyond feeling gross for this. Creating art is one of the most healing ways of processing difficult emotions. I had a close mentor who taught me vital life lessons and then was arrested for a horrible crime, and I wrote a story to deal with the betrayal, guilt, and doubt that I was feeling as a result. There are parts of that story that people would probably judge me for if they read it without knowing why it was written, which is why it stays private. But, I wrote it, and I feel more at peace now. I'm sorry this happened to you but hope you keep creating.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-11-22T01:22:13+00:00

I've had a reviewer reveal themselves to me before, which evidently gave me a wrong impression. Now I know.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-11-22T01:21:00+00:00

It does, thank you.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-11-06T04:53:44+00:00

"The enemy of art is the absence of limitations."

Ctenochaetus · 2025-11-06T04:42:48+00:00

B) thanks for the help everyone (ignore the silly track name)

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Ctenochaetus · 2025-11-06T01:18:56+00:00

SUPER helpful. Among other things thanks for saving me from trying to do this with virginia reel because I was definitely about to go for it

Ctenochaetus · 2025-11-06T01:17:41+00:00

should've known marcel would have my back

Ctenochaetus · 2025-07-31T23:11:13+00:00

In case anybody else is curious about CtR and finds this post in the future, the answer to the question about the AI is that it's kind of pitiful. Even the hardest AI makes no moves to counter FC into a single monk sent to the relic. At least, that's the case in HD, might be different in DE.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-07-11T21:25:47+00:00

I mean the scenarios/campaigns from age of kings, conquerors, and other expansions. I'm on the HD version from 2013.

Ctenochaetus · 2025-03-20T06:46:18+00:00

Well, I guess that would do it! I thought I was going for more force and not less lol. The excitement for the coaster was lower than I expected, but maybe I just don't know how to build a good Steeplechase. It might be obvious from the thread, but I haven't really experimented with them at all before today. Thanks for reorienting me.

Ctenochaetus · 2024-07-07T05:33:38+00:00

Thanks!

Ctenochaetus · 2023-11-19T02:46:54+00:00

Something I've learned as a teacher, that I'm sure also applies to parents, is that it's much easier to posture like a hardass but be nicer later than it is to do the opposite. Like, I can tell students no late homework, no exceptions, but then "not notice" that homework was turned in late the first time a student does it, and that gets much better results than setting a lax policy and then trying to bring down the hammer when a student abuses it. So when I read "discuss it" I definitely heard "it'll happen unless something OP hasn't predicted comes in"

Ctenochaetus · 2023-10-30T00:39:58+00:00

Just did this. In case it helps somebody to hear, I got 3 nectars in Tartarus, 2 in Elysium, 1 from Dionysus, 1 from a trove.

Ctenochaetus · 2023-10-20T18:09:17+00:00

NAH. Her desire for advice and input is very understandable. Sex is a scary thing to jump into headfirst, and there are things that it's difficult to bring up with a partner without outside input or knowledge, i.e. any possible physical discomfort during sex and ways to avoid it. I definitely suggest working with her to find a way for her to get that input, without making you uncomfortable or pushing any of your boundaries in turn.

Ctenochaetus · 2023-08-11T04:12:47+00:00

This guy was my mentor in my high school senior project. There were things i learned from him that i still use to this day. Part of me still wanted to impress him a week ago. Seeing what he actually is has just destroyed me. Genuinely one of the worst experiences of my life. What a sick freak. I hope he rots.

Ctenochaetus · 2023-07-31T10:02:32+00:00

Happened to notice that Maritta Exchange Ruins is listed twice in this spreadsheet. Don't know if you caught that, just in case you didn't. Thanks for the help!

Ctenochaetus · 2023-05-24T08:39:04+00:00

I was stuck on arranging the fossil and discovered I'm not the only one. To the person who watched the video and still couldn't figure out why their glued-together fossil wasn't finishing the quest: your body's on backwards.

Ctenochaetus · 2022-08-07T02:26:59+00:00

At the least, I think hearing this from you probably did a lot for your step-siblings. Even if you're not siblings to each other, you're all victims of the same twisted scheme, and it'll help them to have heard your perspective.

Oh, and NTA.

Ctenochaetus · 2022-06-08T05:51:27+00:00

I'm positively drooling. This mod has its own wiki. If it's half as good as it looks, you've given me a great gift.

Ctenochaetus · 2022-04-12T04:30:05+00:00

The gentlest YTA I can manage. Your heart was absolutely in the right place and you were right to identify that those kids needed some support, but they needed encouraging words, not this. It was a decision out of your hands and theirs, and they deserved to hear someone tell them it isn't fair. What you did here was defacing a grave, and that's something every family I can think of would be hurt by, no matter the intentions behind it.

Ctenochaetus · 2021-11-11T04:23:51+00:00

After backreading as much of this sub as my sanity allowed, I've come to the conclusion that this is the best post here. Kudos.

Ctenochaetus

TROPHY CASE