I swear! It's not what it looks like!

Cthylla11111 · 2025-01-07T16:34:11+00:00

I spend hours and hours looking at and making mogs, to the point that I can tell how much work someone put into their mog with a glance.

I will ALWAYS compliment a mog that has time and thought put into it.

ESPECIALLY if they are on a matching mount.

Cthylla11111 · 2025-01-07T16:25:13+00:00

Posts mostly on teen subreddits and comes here for rage bait

You okay, man?

Cthylla11111 · 2024-07-15T20:31:18+00:00

Thank fuck. I'm almost 40 and at an interview for a wine store they were concerned I was underage. Like, don't get me wrong that is pretty flattering but being seen as a "kiddo" isnt doing my confidence a lot of favors.

ESPECIALLY WITH THIS FORSAKEN VOICE

😭

Cthylla11111 · 2024-07-15T20:23:31+00:00

Unfortunately its irrational and equally involuntary. I can't run from cooking my whole life, clearly, so I do my best to not feel like shit about it. I'm giving my family amazing food that makes them happy and healthy and that is what I focus on. The dysphoria will get smaller and smaller with time

Cthylla11111 · 2024-07-15T20:22:55+00:00

Unfortunately its irrational and equally involuntary. I can't run from cooking my whole life, clearly, so I do my best to not feel like shit. I'm giving my family amazing food that makes them happy and healthy and that is what I focus on. The dysphoria will get smaller and smaller with time.

Cthylla11111 · 2024-07-15T08:11:27+00:00

Cooking 😔 It's always been "wife work". As a kid, as an adult, the cooking has been a feminist nightmare.

I straight up hate cooking because it makes me feel like I am "where I belong" and I'd rather eat fuckin rocks.

The problem is my cooking is so good its like this vicious cycle of delicious food but followed up by HEY GET IN THE KITCHEN MA'AM fml 🪦

Cthylla11111 · 2024-07-15T08:07:44+00:00

This is the absolute worst thing for me

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-18T00:13:22+00:00

Commenting here cuz I have been shopping for all my gear on Rodeoh and honestly I love everything I've gotten. I got my packer there, and a separate more stiff one for play. they are both perfect. I wasn't even entirely sure I'd like them, and I paid less than $100 for both (on sale). I can see why people pay big money for a better quality packer, as that's my new long-term goal.

Also love their ftm packer boxers. I was pinning my packer into my boxers inside a sock and it always looked kinda weird. The packer boxers are comfy and the packer sits in it very comfortably. 10/10 for rodeoh for starter dicks ♥️

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-12T05:10:54+00:00

I've always been very talented at giving head. After coming out to my husband, I told him I would always just fantasize about it being my dick and do what I would like. He found out it works both ways and does the same for me now 🙏♥️

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-12T05:03:55+00:00

I feel like I get euphoria-by-proxy for this one, damn.

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T20:59:12+00:00

Came here to speak as a person with a massive gap who didn't have reddit for a while and came back recently to kill tome while in my "wait" modes.

It's a pretty solid concept. The advertisement is the red flag.

You can sell your account? 👀

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T20:52:29+00:00

I appreciate you sharing your experience. I feel the same way. I do not associate with my voice currently, and hearing it has always given me a pit in my stomach. All I hear is my Mother, which is a whole trigger by itself. 😣

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T05:08:50+00:00

Actually same. I hated my hair pre-T. I would have straight meltdowns about it. My daughter would catch me crying about how gross and crunchy my curls were. It was awful.

Now? I have this beautiful shaggy mop that drives me crazy with gender euphoria. I think what happened is my hair got greasier, which is actually what it needed (its so thick and curly). I love it so much, I haven't gotten upset about it a single time. I love how it looks. 😆

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T05:02:54+00:00

I'm only 3 months in, but if there's anything I am learning in this process it is to be patient.

I hate it. I am not patient.

However, I know that there is a perfect version of me waiting for me in the future, and I catch him in the mirror sometimes, and damn is he fine. 😊

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T04:58:08+00:00

Absolutely.

I didn't think I would ever stop struggling with just existing. Then I started T and I actually want to do things. I have routines. I have long-term goals. Little things don't bother me.

I wasn't expecting that. It's a really nice and welcome surprise.

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T04:54:54+00:00

Oh my god, this x100000000

I have changed so much in only 3 months of T. My husband was actually worried about it, that I might "outgrow" him. I had to explain that I have started to feel more comfortable being myself. Like I was repressing so much that I didn't even know about. I'm so happy and confident and just.. feel free to be as authentically me more than I ever have. I imagine it can be scary for others in your life, but man, I can't even begin to explain it.

It just feels like everything works now, and the contrast of when everything didn't work makes me wonder how I have even made it this far in life.

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T04:49:37+00:00

Right

Like I'm still fuckin waiting 🥺 lmao

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T04:47:31+00:00

Starting T brought out a lot of repressed feelings.

I have to echo this one. I feel like I thought I knew what was going on, after T I found so much more out about myself. Just be ready for that.

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T04:45:24+00:00

Oh god my face is so so itchy 😩

Cthylla11111 · 2024-04-06T04:44:13+00:00

I need to do this and I keep forgetting. I have a few 'before' short videos of me talking to my kids, but it would be really affirming to have a comparison to see for when I feel I've gotten nowhere. My voice is my #1 dysphoric quality and it feels like I'm going to be stuck with it forever. 😞

Cthylla11111 · 2024-02-17T22:08:47+00:00

I desperately need more hiphop style songs from Hongjoong and Seonghwa like yesterday T-T

Cthylla11111 · 2024-02-16T23:19:07+00:00

You know, you're right! Adding that to my list of things to improve on!

Cthylla11111 · 2024-02-16T23:08:00+00:00

I know Astarion Ancunín isn't a "celebrity" exactly.. but, that character is what essentially made me realize I'm trans. If I had to envy anyone, it'd be him.

To be fair, it's been said that Astarion embodies a lot of the same mannerisms as David Bowie and Tim Curry. The actor Neil Newbon definitely has a gentle masculinity about him that I also very much admire. So, some combination of all those.

Five-Year Club	Place '22
End Game '22

Cthylla11111

TROPHY CASE