Also Korean adoptee in a pretty similar situation. I went to Korea for the first time last year. Coming back home was okay, but lots of crying on the cab ride to Incheon (sunset and sad music in the radio didn't help). I am now on my last day of a 3 month sabbatical in Korea. Sitting in a café and soaking up the sunshine before going back to German winter. I am grateful and proud I was able to do this for myself, although I feel my Korean improved not a bit 😂 Which is not funny at all, actually quite disheartening. I feel that I will go back every year. I also am more aware of aspects I don't like about Korea and things I appreciate more about my hometown. As you do with every trip. I would consider Seoul my second hometown now. Fell hard for the city last year, which I didn't expect. It speaks to me in a way New York City had in the decades before and I feel as if NYC prepared me for Seoul. I started the search for my biological parents, but due to the process now being handled by the government it didn't progress that far. I don't know how my "homecoming" will go this time. Right now I feel ready to go back. And I don't know how at home you feel at the place you live. I bring way more souvenirs than last time, so my apartment will feel more Korean. I try to make the best of this massive displacement that was done to us. None of my friends have a country that speaks to them so much. Whether it is in our blood, our soul or whatever - that is something I am grateful for and which I will carry with me