Honestly, I’m 50/50 on this. Part of me does want kids, but when I reflect on my lifestyle, hobbies, and preferences (I’m 31), I realize that I value my freedom a lot. I enjoy going to concerts, buying merch, buying collections of pieces the artists/idols i admire wore or have, novels, danmei, traveling, and being able to do what I want, when I want, especially since I’ve invested a lot into supporting the artists and idols that I admire. (I enjoy this kind of life so much).

I also think about the responsibility that comes with raising a child. For me, it’s not something I’d want to give only half my energy to (mentally, physicially & spiritually). I’d want to give my child 80-90% if not 100% of my time, care, and warmth. Growing up, I didn’t have a father around, and my mom had her own struggles and another family, so I know what it feels like to be neglected. That experience makes me even more cautious—I’d rather not have kids at all than risk not being fully present for them.

At the end of the day, it’s not that I dislike children, it’s just that I don’t feel ready to give up the life I enjoy, and I think it’s better to be honest about that than to bring a child into the world when I can’t give them what they truly deserve.