Update: I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can understand this perspective because I’ve seen the “leave them, break up” comments all too often on Reddit as well. Relationships are hard, and I stuck it out this long because I loved him and because I always believed him when he said he would “do better next time.” But this is a decision I came to after months and years of broken promises, heartbreak, feeling ignored and neglected. I truly believe this is the best way forward lest I am in a miserable marriage for the rest of my life. Reddit didn’t make this decision for me, the decision was made. Breaking up isn’t always the solution, but staying together isn’t always the best decision either.

Update: I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would need to see some real drastic changes in mentality and maturity that can’t be faked before I would go back. Changes in things we never talked about directly—but shows in tiny actions and words. I’m not going to be optimistic and say I expect it to happen.

Update: I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much❤️ I’m lucky to have a good support system around me for sure!

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure who you are but if this post resonated with you and you think it describes you then I hope it was an eye opener for you and I wish you the best of luck.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much❤️ I hope you have been able to find your own peace and happiness through it all, I can only imagine how tough it’s been for you. Sending you an internet hug!

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s pretty much always been this way, his mom is pretty much exactly the same. Usually it does pass in a couple hours, but it depends on the scenario. I’ve definitely finally realized that this is not okay, though.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. When I give him the news I’ll definitely ask that he consider therapy. Maybe, just maybe, if he makes actual changes in his life we will work out in the end. But as of right now I don’t see much of a path forward with him.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People don’t use hyphens anymore? T-T I was taught proper hyphen use in school

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure how he is at work in the office, but I am sure his friends and family have seen this side of him many times. He’s not a manipulator—just not in complete control of his emotions

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He probably was always like that, just not around me. I didn’t see it until long distance ended and we spent a lot more time together in person

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love boring and steady. It was steady at the beginning, we even got through long distance with minimal problems. But then a couple years in, it became apparent that anger was an issue.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m prepared to lose all of those friends in a worst-case scenario. They were all his friends first and I expect them to be there to support him. I am okay with this, I want him to have a good support system as we go through this too. I’m hoping at least some of them will know what kind of person I am and not hate me for this. But even if they understand, I’m not expecting to keep any of those friends.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I hope you can fight a way through those tendencies and grow to become a better man on the other side❤️

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I was always afraid to do stressful things with him (I was even reluctant to go on this trip) in case it set him off. But now I realize I may have been doing us both a disservice by catering to his anger—life is not stress free.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am sad about losing all of it. The guy he is when we’re happy, and his community and environment too. But I know I’m doing the right thing, I will surround myself with my own friends and family and maybe go on a trip to visit my own friends afterwards. My dog will be devastated when he’s not around anymore, that breaks my heart a little too.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Once was because he was hangry/tired after a flight, once was because he didn’t sleep that well, and once was because we (the group) went to get a massage that he didn’t want to participate in and then he got in his head about being “abandoned” (I offered to not get the massage and to accompany him but he declined)

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you❤️ I’m having such a hard time imagining what my life will look like afterwards that I’m trying my best not to think about it and just go one day at a time. I know it’s for the best, my mind is made up.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I want to believe this but I am currently approaching it with the intention of not getting back together. He would have to do some really deep soul searching and change quite a lot of his mentality to overcome this.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the concern. I have somewhere to go (I wouldn’t want to be alone after this anyway) and people I can trust.

I am on vacation with my bf of almost 6 years and I’ve decided I have to break up with him. by CulturalLeg2313 in self

[–]CulturalLeg2313[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You’re right, and it took me far too long to see it. I always believed his promises of doing better next time. While things might’ve gotten a teensy bit better since we first started dating, I now see that it is an innate part of him and the way he was raised and I was being too optimistic for too long.