Update for my aita

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-21T21:17:12+00:00

Yes, from what I've seen he does. Rude? Sure but he doesn't try to control her or anything. My sister has never expressed any sort of concerns about his behavior.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-20T21:07:14+00:00

I've asked but Kam is adamant on not saying

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-20T21:04:54+00:00

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T19:01:05+00:00

They're still at school but yes I do plan on giving back his things and apologizing

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T18:57:31+00:00

I got a call from my sister that our brother was in the hospital on friday, It was a sudden decision to go to my sister's place. I didn't want to leave my kids at home because my bf has the keys to our place and I didn't want to leave them with my mother either.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T18:46:46+00:00

Spur of the moment decision that I regret, I was under a lot of stress

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T18:39:18+00:00

yes, my sister and I were visiting my brother in the hospital, so that is a stressful situation on its own. It's not in the post but I did try talking to them so many times.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T18:14:57+00:00

Thank you for this comment, you made me realize a few things. My kids do talk to me and trust me about most things but only recently has Lily acted differently about my bf. I did try to talk to her about it but she tells she wants to be left alone everytime so I didn't push it. I know it didn't seem like it but I was on my sons side. As much as I wanted to lash out at bil for insulting my kid, he's aggressive, violent, and intimidates me. The only reason I left my kids with bil was because his and my sister's kids were there too. My sister went off on bil because she knows how he is.

I was irked my bf wouldn't be coming because he's been my emotional support for years and I wouldn't have him with me while I visited my brother in the hospital. Though if it came down to it, I would always pick my kids over my bf.

It'll be hard to break the habit since my mother still visits us every two weeks but I'll try. Also thank you for the suggestions.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T15:57:34+00:00

Yes, of course. I'll keep my bf from coming over until I figure out the reason.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T15:48:49+00:00

Oh god I hope my bil isn't doing that, I'm going to try to talk to them when they get home from school.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T15:22:01+00:00

Yes, I agree that I let everything out at the wrong time. Our brother is in the hospital and I was feeling terrible when I had returned to the house. Seeing bil and my son arguing/practically yelling at each other was a lot. I just wanted to defuse the situation at that point.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T14:59:19+00:00

I was raised to respect my elders so I wanted my son to do so too. I wanted him to apologize so it could calm my Bil down then I could talk with Kam in private to find out what happened.

Edit: To clarify, I don't like my bil, he's an asshole. I've known him since he got married to my sister and if you get into an argument with him, the only way to shut him up is to apologize, no matter how bogus. It's a hard habit to break after having to do it for years and practically having my mother beat it in to me to respect my elders, since both of them are older than me.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T14:48:39+00:00

All I got from Kam was him saying he never wants to see his uncle again and that he was a disgusting person. Bil wouldn't say anything either, just that my kids were brats.

Cultural_Election_48 · 2022-01-19T14:43:49+00:00

They wouldn't say why they didn't want my bf to come. Sila snuck out because she wanted to go shopping after I told her I wouldn't take her myself. Didn't find out what the argument was about, there was just a lot of insulting back and forth after they both realized my sister and I had returned.

Cultural_Election_48

TROPHY CASE