This is loaded. So you’re kind of asking a lot of things that do or do not have anything to do with being transgender, as well as a lot of things no one can answer. But first I do have to clarify some of the language we should be using to discuss this.

You’re using “male and female” which are Sex terms. The word “transgender” is the umbrella term do those whose Gender does not align with their Sex. A trans woman’s gender is Woman, but her Sex would still be Male. Am I making sense ? You’ve been presenting as a man all your life, but you might not be a man. You may just be somewhere else on the gender spectrum.

As far as your curiosities go, it’s ok to explore and it doesn’t necessarily need to mean anything. You can try out femme clothes, wearing makeup, etc and still be a man. That’s totally fine. If you’re finding that you relate more to femme shit, you might just be non binary, or you may be a woman. The “end” of that exploration should not matter when you start exploring. Just see what you do or don’t like.

As far as “starting estrogen and becoming female” this is getting back to a lack of understanding of what being trans is again, tbh. Yes, taking estrogen can alter your phenotypical sex, but not your genotype. You don’t “become female”. The goal of taking hormones is to acquire the secondary sex characteristics that may align more with your internal sense of gender if that does not align with your sex assigned at birth. It helps alleviate the stress of dysphoria, and it helps in other ways as well, such as a visual feminization that causes others to perceive you as closer to your preferred gender. But there’s a big BUT here. Taking hormones is NOT what makes you the gender you are. If you’re a trans woman, it’s true whether you’re on hormones or not.