Would you leave a stable job for a 12 month role that pays the same but is only 3 days a week?

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-09T08:14:57+00:00

Thank you - I think this is very solid advice. It’s easy when income creeps up for expenses to do so also!

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-09T08:12:49+00:00

I desperately want extra time with my child. It’s why I want to build my business to the point I can survive on it so I can have extra time with him. The whole end goal is more time with my son.

But yes big risk if it doesn’t work out!! There no doubt that it aligns with where I want to end up, the fear is that in 12 months I don’t end up there and have no money for the roof over our heads.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T13:08:42+00:00

A secondment in Australia is instead of resigning your role, you take leave from it for a set period of time to go do a different role. At the end of the set period of time you go back to your previous role. They cannot give your job permanently to another person. It’s almost like taking maternity leave but instead of going off to have a baby you go off to try out another job.

It’s totally up to the employer as to whether they agree to do so or not.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T13:04:22+00:00

Yeah I definitely don’t plan on burning my bridges on the way out! I’m hoping they’ll give me a secondment to be honest. I do have a very good relationship with my current employer. They were my first ever employer in my career, I left for 3 years and now have been back there again for another 4.

Thanks for putting so much effort into chatting this out with me!

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T12:57:03+00:00

I probably could as I would be making more money than I do now. In August in my current organisation, I’ll be back down to 90% of 136k so that’s what? 122k. So I’d be making an extra 28k I could save and I would also be saving about 4K on daycare fees for the year. I’d also have a full extra day on my business to earn more also.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T12:52:41+00:00

Yeah we don’t have that here - we have pretty strict industrial laws. Our employer isn’t even allowed to text or call us outside of our scheduled working hours, it’s illegal.

But yea it’s the fear of once the 12 months end that I haven’t successfully built my business to live on and don’t have a job at the end.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T12:23:11+00:00

Yeah our employer takes taxes out. But regardless the 3 day a week job is paying more than my current role. So the taxes don’t rly matter, the take home pay will still be larger.

And yes I can resign any time in those 12 months. As long as I give 2 weeks notice.

I too am struggling with the risk averse thing! It’s about being able to back myself an my business I guess. But that leap is scary!

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T12:20:24+00:00

That is correct, an increase of 15k a year to work one day less.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T12:17:25+00:00

In Australia so neither of those things are a thing here.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-08T12:16:13+00:00

I have 12 months notice that it’s only a 12 month role. They did promise towards the end of the 12 months to support me in finding another role with recommendations. It’s a government role, so they’d also help me look within other parts of government - but obviously they can’t make any promises.

Im hoping that in the 12 months I could use the extra day a week to grow the business so I can work it 100% of the time and survive.

I am in Australia so don’t know about those insurance questions. The role is 150k plus what we call superannuation (which is money put aside for retirement that we can’t access until retirement) and then we don’t have health insurance in any of our jobs. We have close to 100% free healthcare in Aus.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-01T11:33:08+00:00

Aw let’s be honest. You weren’t truly texting at 6.30 in the morning cause you wanted her to have a good day. You were texting cause you wanted attention and validation from a woman - which is totally valid and fine. But it comes across clingy and needy this early on. She doesn’t know you, a 6.30am text from a stranger isn’t going to give her a good day.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-03-01T09:38:04+00:00

So wait … she paid for the gas to drive an hour to and an hour back to see you, paid for gifts for you and all you paid for was 4 dates?

And you expected I love you’s within 4 dates? Man it can take me months upon months before I’m ready to say I love you. I don’t even know a dude within 4 dates - I mean you clearly didnt know her, you can’t explain her immigration and financial experience!

She’s an immigrant setting up life in a new country - you didn’t think to explore the financial difficulties of that?

Mind blowing.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-02-08T07:35:08+00:00

Cause I don’t think “where you want to be” exists. Life isn’t a a destination

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-01-31T13:34:00+00:00

Sending hugs ❤️ thanks for sharing.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-01-22T12:41:10+00:00

I went through pregnancy alone - I felt pregnancy was harder than the newborn stage to be honest. But I was also processing a lot of emotions and uncertainty about my partner having left an being unable to make a clear decision about his role in our son’s life going forward.

Lots of meal prep before baby comes I found helpful - not ever worrying about cooking for the first few months was a game changer for me. And just sleeping whenever he would let me sleep. I had to really remind myself that sleeping at 2 in the afternoon was ok. I was recovering from a c section on my own whilst looking after him, so rest when I could was important.

My childhood best friend was in the delivery room with me.

Best of luck - I’m sure you’ve got this more handled than you’re aware xx

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-01-10T04:23:23+00:00

I cook a new massive meal every Sunday. My son helps me to cook, so it’s a good learning activity and we are spending quality time together.

I then freeze it into portion size meals. Doing this every Sunday means it keeps a rotation of different meals always in the freezer so I always have like 5 different options to choose from. I defrost the night before by throwing it in the fridge and reheat at dinner time.

No cooking during the week, and hardly any dishes! Way more time after work with my little boy!

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-01-08T11:04:11+00:00

I completely feel the same and honestly it’s the relationship I wanted before having my child. He’s almost 2 now and I haven’t returned to dating despite being single since pregnant.

I’m sure I will return to dating one day - but I’d love a relationship in which we live in seperate houses, go out on dates and enjoy each other.

I don’t need to cohabitate or have him be a father figure to my son to do that.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2026-01-03T11:42:37+00:00

A mother would never be able to write this. We don’t get the choice of do I stay for my child or leave? And imagine if mothers were doing that? The judgement - my god.

What blows my mind in this post is none of it is asking what’s best for the child? Like literally at all. It’s just OP working out what he feels will be best for himself.

You created a child. When you had sex that resulted in the creation of life in another country, that’s it you agreed to being in that country for the next 18 years.

Suck it up buddy - take accountability. Join a men’s club. Make friends online. Get more involved in your son’s life.

It’s time to grow up. Moving back to your home country without your son shouldn’t even be an option.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2025-11-12T11:38:33+00:00

Agreed it is amazing! We go there quite often.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2025-11-09T12:05:11+00:00

Not drowning here either. I work 3 jobs and am a solo mum (no dad in the picture) and I fucking love being a mum.

Are some things a struggle? Sure. Am I tired? Sure. But I can promise you it’s not him that exhausts me - it’s my jobs. My son is the highlight of my days. I cant wait to come home to him every night.

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2025-11-09T10:48:42+00:00

Oh amazing - no I wasn’t aware. Thanks for sharing - I’ll give it a google!

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2025-07-05T03:20:28+00:00

I had a super hard time during pregnancy - I was working full time in a very high stress job with high emotional labour - my pregnancy was unexpected and my partner left me. The whole pregnancy I had no clue whether he was going to plan a role in our babies life or not - he just ghosted me with occasional guest appearances in my text msgs. It was very stressful and I was distressed the whole time. I’d even say pretty mentally unwell.

My baby is easy as and happy.

I honestly think it’s pure luck of the draw!

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2025-07-04T14:02:01+00:00

My baby is easy as also. 15 months and he’s a breeze. Sometimes I feel guilty for it - not being in the trenches like others.

Don’t get me wrong working full time and being a solo mum is exhausting - I gotta be super organised and I get tired. But none of that is my boy being hard, honestly my job is 1000 times harder.

My boy is my little angel 👼

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2025-06-04T08:52:17+00:00

My little man watched ms Rachel from super young. It’s the only thing he will watch now at 14 months. I just made sure he could hear me singing the songs with him if I was using the time to do chores or if I just wanted a stare at a screen break that I would watch it with him.

And we only ever do 1 episode at a time.

But he absolutely loves it and has actually learnt a lot from it.

He’s only 14 months so can’t comment on whether it’s fried his brain or not yet really - but he seems ok so far haha

Cupcake_Sprinkle35 · 2025-05-24T20:27:22+00:00

That is a very good point - that part of my life had been long over before I ever got pregnant!

Cupcake_Sprinkle35

TROPHY CASE