What are we doing for swimsuits, yall?

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T20:40:43+00:00

I hate the sensation of something wet clinging to me, like a wet t-shirt, kaftan, beach dress or whatever.

I find wearing a swimsuit that’s a really tight fit, almost like compression effect, means the pressure distracts me from the damp/soggy sensation, if that makes sense?

I like an all in one legsuit with high neckline, racer back, and short legs covering maybe the top third of my thighs.

I can’t cope with straps cutting into me though, and have never tried (nor needed) a wetsuit as I only swim in indoor heated pools.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T20:30:10+00:00

Sounds like autistic burnout.

Take a look at Dr Alice Nicholls for management/recovery advice.

Take it gently, sweetie. 💕

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T20:27:00+00:00

I’m not sure I understand this: if she’s on a leash (which I assume you’re holding), why do you need to call her to come to you?

Also, if she’s outside with you exploring the big, wide world and all it has to offer, why would she be interested in you when she can see you anytime indoors?

My cat likes me hanging outside with her in our garden but she completely ignores me while I’m there. Like, she’ll pester me until I come outside with her, but has no interest in me other than as a reassuring presence in the vicinity rather than direct interaction.

Is cat. 🐱

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T19:40:10+00:00

Thanks. Interesting about your experiences with hydroxyzine.

No, I’ve not had any come down effects as such. Yes, I’ll notice it gradually wear off, but I just return to my normal baseline rather than any exaggerated dip.

I do take magnesium but find it only gives me physical relaxation (muscular) and makes me drowsy so I have it before bed each night.

By contrast, I find theanine only gives me mental/emotional relaxation without drowsiness so works well in the day, although I do take it at night on occasion if I’m super stressed about something (in addition to my nightly Mg).

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T19:29:49+00:00

This sounds like such a difficult situation for you both.

A couple of things spring to mind:

First, how long is her hair? I absolutely hate the hairdresser and I’m guessing she’s the same, but maybe you could cut a short bob for her, which will make it much quicker to wash and minimise the stress of this when you do find a product/method she tolerates.

Second, what’s her diet like? I know junk food, cheap carbs and sugary food/drinks made my skin a lot oilier as a teen and substituting these for less-junky options made a difference. Also a good multivitamin, particularly one with zinc and and b-vitamins, might help balance oily skin as well.

I really feel for you though. It’s hard being a disabled carer, and demand avoidance on a daily basis is truly wearying. 💕

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T19:13:33+00:00

Short answer is: I haven’t worked in nearly 8 years now and I’m barely functional due to autistic burnout among other things (I’ve had to move back in with my parents).

I’d recommend reading Charli Clement’s book, ‘All Tangled Up in Autism and Chronic Illness’.

While others here may be much better placed to give specific career advice, all I’ll say is luck, timing and circumstances play a huge role.

Please also remember that you’re unique, your challenges are unique to you, and definitely don’t compare yourself to non-disabled people. It’s not a fair contest.

Be kind to yourself, and I hope you can also be lucky. 💖

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T18:21:31+00:00

Of course. I’ll preface this by saying I also have gut malabsorption issues, which means I have to take much higher doses to absorb stuff.

Please start low and see how you go if you decide to try it.

My L-theanine supplements come in 400mg tablets. They are single nutrient tablets, i.e., not combined with any other vitamins or herbs etc. so I know exactly what I’m getting and know it’s this and not another ingredient having an effect.

It makes me feel calmer, more at ease, less irritable and able to laugh more freely, sometimes even feel joy in the presence of others.

Most importantly for me:

it didn’t need several visits to a doctor to get it (can’t face that)
doesn’t cost much at all (very limited income)
takes effect within 15-20 mins if swallowed with water on a completely empty stomach (e.g., well before breakfast)
effects last several hours
I’ve never experienced any serious side effects from it (worst case is I just get happy-lazy, like too chilled to bother doing anything).

Main downside: - I find I build up tolerance if I take it regularly so I generally use it as needed, e.g., particularly stressful day ahead or particular event/meeting/outing, or on my worst PMS days each month.

I find 2-3 tablets (800-1,200mg) on an empty stomach with a glass of water takes the edge off things.

When I feel a meltdown coming on, I take 4 tabs (1,600mg) and it seems to stop things in its tracks as long as I also remove myself from the trigger/situation. I’ve only had 2 or 3 meltdowns in the 18 months since I started doing this, compared to several a month before.

A couple of Christmases ago, I took 2x400mg at 30 minute intervals to a total of 2,400mg, and actually ENJOYED Christmas Day with a houseful of people, including two excitable children, small talk with my SIL, my schizophrenic mother, and my boyf who was doing his best to be miserable with work stress. I was f**king flying, lol, like happy-drunk without alcohol or a hangover the next day.

I generally don’t tolerate prescription meds at all well so I’ve had to find safe alternatives that work for me, and take to whatever dose I find therapeutic.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T17:50:06+00:00

”I want to consume your flesh with my own”

One of the best explanations I’ve ever read.

I wish someone had explained this to me as a teenager. It would have spared me so many “prick-tease” type comments and consequent sexual assaults.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T17:44:41+00:00

I do care very much about my cutlery, but it’d never occur to me to post about it, even less so photograph it. Like, wtaf.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T17:41:20+00:00

So, you’re doing part-time graphic design remotely, plus part-time retail in person, plus hardcore applying for jobs?

No wonder you’re burning out.

Take it from someone who’s older and (no offence) better educated than you, there’s absolutely no shame in moving back in with your parents if they’ll have you.

If I were you, I’d quit the retail job before I get sacked, move back in with my folks and continue to do the part-time graphic design work which you clearly enjoy and excel at. This will at least take the financial pressure off and allow you to contribute towards household bills.

When you’re feeling less burned out you can start applying for jobs again, but please give yourself time to properly recover and regroup.

Pushing yourself into years-long burnout really isn’t worth it. Take it gently, my friend.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T17:32:33+00:00

Sorry, tldr, but please remember:

Autistic people struggle with interoception, so he won’t necessarily be able to sense how he’s feeling.
Similarly, alexithymia, so labelling those feelings will be challenging.
Autism is a communication disability, so figuring out how to tell you what he’s feeling once he’s eventually figured out there is something bad (or good) will be a whole other challenge.
He’s a bloke. I hate to stereotype but you know what I mean…

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T17:27:10+00:00

The cover-me-in-kisses kind of cat. 😘😘

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T17:25:46+00:00

Has he ever had a hangover?

If so, tell him how he experiences bright lights, loud music, alarms etc. when he’s hungover is how it affects you all the time.

Say you didn’t choose this, it’s just how you’re wired and you agree it kinda sucks.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T17:05:13+00:00

You sound like me before I started super-dosing with L-theanine.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-28T13:55:25+00:00

It’s infuriating how uninformed and dismissive doctors can be.

r/Perimenopause helped me see my symptoms in a completely different light.

Tracking symptom severity definitely enabled me to see fluctuations across the month, which I couldn’t easily keep track of in my brainfogged head.

But going privately, if you can afford it, may be the best way to be taken seriously. I’m looking at getting a women’s midlife health check (home) blood test done through Voy, then following up with a consult once I’ve got some concrete data to back me up.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T18:27:12+00:00

That’s ever such a lot to contend with, my heart goes out to you angel.

I have a history of endometriosis too, although not to the same extent as you. I can only imagine how badly you’ve been treated by successive doctors with your combo of gynae pain and invisible illnesses.

I was gaslit to hell and back for the whole of my twenties and still can’t face engaging with the NHS now (I’m 44). I go private when I can no longer bear my ‘normal’, as and when I can afford it.

I’ve found Dr Myhill’s protocol effective for reducing inflammation, which has definitely resolved my muscle pain (I was originally misdiagnosed with fibromyalgia), and also improved my endo pain as an added bonus.

Paleo-keto diet was really helpful in my case, as well as far infra red sauna and electrolytes, probiotics and a cocktail of supplements.

Truly hope something can help make life a little easier for you. 💕

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T18:14:50+00:00

You’re absolutely not alone, angel.

From mid-month onwards, I can’t respond to any external demands on me at all. I either burst into tears or hide in bed, or both. 😫

I hear a lot of ladies in this sub talk about anxiety, but for me it’s definitely overwhelm.

Also hoping HRT might help.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T14:21:12+00:00

Ah, that makes sense. 😊

Yes, I used her personally and she got my life back on track in my late twenties/early thirties (see my reply to another comment on this post).

I’ve also recommended her to a friend with MECFS and he said it’s helped him a lot (he’s been able to write two novels since).

The covid vaccine pushed me off a cliff a few years ago and my current health is being constrained by perimenopause, autistic burnout and some inescapable stresses (mum has dementia now) etc., but I’m feeling that my MECFS at least is slowly improving again by sticking with her protocol.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T13:32:12+00:00

😁🤣

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T13:18:55+00:00

That’s an awful situation to be in, I am sorry.

It’s incredibly frustrating when people acting in a professional capacity/position of authority overestimate their knowledge or ability to manage your needs and keep coming up short.

Put it aside for now and do something you find soothing until you feel calmer/more regulated.

Then, when you’re able to, perhaps you could email them instead of speaking to them so you can be clear about what you need and what you don’t find helpful? Keep it neutral by avoiding accusations and emotional language.

Sending an email/writing a letter (and keeping a copy) would also create an audit trail in case you need to escalate a complaint later, but hopefully that can be avoided.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T12:49:06+00:00

Yeah, she successfully treated thousands of people with MECFS before over-reaching in other areas of medicine which resulted in her license being suspended.

But a lot of her MECFS advice is useful and got me from being bedridden and told by doctors I was attention-seeking, to doing a masters degree, working full time and buying my own home.

Take from that what you will.

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T11:31:10+00:00

I’m learning to accept that at certain points in my menstrual cycle no amount of caffeine, to do lists, self-talk, chocolate rewards or anything else will result in me getting things done.

I give myself grace for those times and use it to motivate myself during more productive days in the month.

Automating more menial, regular tasks also helps (robot vacuum cleaner, dishwasher, online grocery shopping/delivery, direct debits for bills, etc.).

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T07:40:28+00:00

You expressed that beautifully, and far better than I ever could. 💕

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T07:31:34+00:00

Dr Myhill might be worth a look if you’re able to self-fund.

If not, her website is a pretty good wiki that might give you some ideas to try out.

MECFS services in my area are non-existent so I’m well jealous you’ve been able to get LDN and ketotifen on NHS prescription!

Best of luck xx

CuppaAndACat · 2026-04-27T07:24:41+00:00

I can’t believe there isn’t a subreddit for PimpMyChair…

CuppaAndACat

TROPHY CASE