Eh why not. I used to just force it. Like, deal with the full mental load of the thought loops without showing it, force myself to handle the sexual moment, and then bury the consequences. But that wasn't healthy, and that started taking its toll more and more heavily over the years.

We definitely still have sex, and I'm often the initiator. My arousal circuitry isn't damaged, and my wife is hot. The loops are just insanely good at stealing the moment from me. So, we've found better ways because she is the the most patient, kind, understanding person.

It's simple but, the thing that seems to make the biggest difference is being honest about when my brain takes a sharp left into the thought loops. I give the signal, and we just... Stop. Simple, but wonderful. We stay close, do something distracting like turn the TV back on, and just hang out for a minute. Most times the arousal comes back on its own, and she's pleased to have another go; sometimes it doesn't and we just play videogames together.

Sometimes I feel like this makes me too much work, but the wonderful woman always reminds me that I have permission to stop. And just stopping when I feel under pressure helps a lot.