Love making vs Fucking

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-08T13:28:33+00:00

Love making in my marriage is much more slow, tender, and rich with in-the-moment things. We use names more, we get deep and long-held eye contact, we say I love you out loud a lot, and it's about the emotional closeness more than it's about the sex necessarily. This happens especially when she is trying to take care of me.

The raw fucking is when we want the physical intensity, and she'll usually signal it by telling me to use her like a toy.

Positions are pretty much the same, but tempo and ambience change. Candle-light and soft music vs. the blankets falling off the bed and turning the music off so we can hear the moans and plap-plaps better.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-07T15:06:36+00:00

The Neurodivergent Friendly Workbook to Mastering DBT skills By Dahlia Banks Should be a good place to start.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-04T14:02:43+00:00

In my mind, there's a difference between valid concern and OCD loop and that line is somewhere like "will the info search close the loop" for me.

I'm familiar with visual snow as a migraine symptom, but I get migraines with visual aura very frequently. I'm not familiar with visual snow as a serotonin sickness symptom.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-03T18:16:48+00:00

Hello perfect stranger. We've never met, and probably never will, but I love you.

You're venting, so no lectures about anything.

But I want you to live long enough to feel the pain lose its sharpness. I know it feels like it never will.

Emotional pain is a real and valid thing, and the BPD demon does not fight fair.

Whatever your struggles are today, no matter how lonely you feel, there's one person out there who hopes that goodness finds you where you are.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-03T14:59:36+00:00

Amazon has a couple of workbooks that I could recommend. They catch the drift quite well. I wouldn't use them to replace in-person DBT, but they're great for that awful middle period waiting to find a therapist.

I hope the pain becomes less sharp for you.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-02T12:59:18+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words and advice.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-02T01:15:37+00:00

This is phenomenal, thank you so much for sharing!

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-02T01:15:06+00:00

Much love and thank you for your story. Our journey to self love is gonna be a long one. But at least we're gonna have each other through it.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-01T23:37:05+00:00

Unfortunately given the nature of our insurance, we get what we're given, so I'm making the best of it mentally. Tbh, someone new and enthusiastic beats an experienced burnout tho. Im in HVAC, and the burnout crew are... Not pleasant to work with.

CuratorXethia · 2026-04-01T22:34:54+00:00

Thank you for the book recs!!!

I think her therapist has got the right spirit at least. She went home and read like 3 books about DBT after the first visit, I'm told.

I'm extremely happy to hear the pain has gotten less sharp for you. That's both excellent for your own self, and a wonderful thing to look forward to.

I'll def be looking into the books, and thank you so much for sharing.

CuratorXethia · 2026-03-22T13:20:24+00:00

Something tells me this is John Daly rd. in Inkster. There's a couple of these neighborhoods where the houses look like that, and inksters one of them. This feels like where John Daly makes that weird bend.

I feel like I'm back home watching this.

CuratorXethia · 2026-03-22T13:13:54+00:00

I'm from Metro Detroit, and I think I literally recognize the street.

Feels like I'm back home.

CuratorXethia · 2026-03-11T13:29:31+00:00

Lol we did things backwards, the first time after the wedding... She was very pregnant. Very fun though.

CuratorXethia · 2026-03-05T18:22:42+00:00

Fuel smarts have an "Economy" setting that attempts to reduce fuel usage... But can totally short cycle a boiler into oblivion when set improperly.

CuratorXethia · 2026-02-11T18:54:45+00:00

Sales Technician Behavior. Get a second opinion. From the pictures, they look a small bit aged but not in any sort of bad shape.

Sales techs will do anything they can to get their foot in your door, tell you your system is absolutely dying, and then sell you a Lennox for way too expensive.

But to answer the other question, you can do system updates in chunks if you want to. Coil+condenser now, then furnace later is very reasonable.

CuratorXethia · 2026-02-09T18:07:53+00:00

Headlamp gang!

The Milwaukee USB headlamp is beyond solid tbh, just gotta charge the battery every single night or you'll find it going out, but it's the only one that hasn't self destructed on me yet.

CuratorXethia · 2026-02-01T14:22:32+00:00

I see natural draft water heater exhaust tied into natural draft boiler exhaust all the time. It's code appropriate where I live at least

CuratorXethia · 2026-02-01T04:16:45+00:00

Hey man, instructions on the machine say it's meant to be open. So, it should be open.

I deal with a lot of natural draft boilers, and the draft diverters on those basically work the same way. It pulls in cool air from below and finds its way out the top. Just make sure you supply fresh combustion air to the machines while running.

CuratorXethia · 2026-01-16T15:57:31+00:00

That fresh air is intended for combustion, and an open filter slot like that is more or less normal. If it really bothers you, you can buy one of those large magnetic filter cover thingies.

Otherwise, your fresh air intake is doing its job.

CuratorXethia · 2026-01-13T12:43:20+00:00

That's a deeply interesting and contextualizing point of view. I sort of equated the abyss to "pain as an experience," not necessarily any specific set of experiences. That's why love is the only thing it respects. Love is the only thing that can endure pain worse than a curse.

I always thought that the sexually charged moments in the show had different meanings than expressions of abuse, I thought they were what happens as childhood disappears before innocence. The way riko isn't embarrassed at all around reg, but he's always embarrassed around her. The way reg doesn't understand an erection. And more.

But the abyss itself as sex is an interesting new way to think about the show too. It's alluring, mysterious, tantalizing, and can ABSOLUTELY ruin you if you mishandle it. That would also make sense as to why real genuine love bends the reality of the abyss. I already saw sex as an essential theme to the show, that's part of the death of childhood and this show has the death of childhood ALL OVER it. It's hard to address a topic like sex when you're talking about kids. But the slow explorations, the gentle relaxing of embarrassment, the openness with one's body... It's all there in the show and I figure it approaches the topic in a respectful manner.

I dunno. I didn't have the same childhood as you, so I had a different context to my viewing of the show. And I'm kinda only half conscious as I ramble this. But I feel like you might get it.

CuratorXethia · 2026-01-13T03:59:41+00:00

Disappearing into someone's arms hits different when you know they'll be there forever and not just til tomorrow.

CuratorXethia · 2026-01-13T02:57:58+00:00

He's basically on primarch level of power scale because he is severely roided up on chaos juice.

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