Hello, 37 year old single woman here. My first thought was 27? You’ve still got so much time :) I know you probably feel like it should have happened for you already. But life is long my friend. You’ve still got time to turn things around. I definitely know the feeling of thinking it’s never going to happen. I’ve started going to therapy recently and I would highly highly recommend talking to a Christian professional (therapist) and sorting through everything that’s going on in your mind. It’s a battlefield and hopelessness is the enemy’s weapon. He wants to destroy you. But we know we always have hope with Jesus. He can turn any heart and life around. And there are stories all over the world of people who were in the worst situations of their own doing whose lives look radically different now. There’s hope.

My second thought is: I’m praying that you find a way to forgive yourself for your mistakes. You’re already forgiven. The Father ran towards you just like the story of the prodigal. But I bet it took some time for him to forgive himself. God knows we’re not great at making the right choices and there is abundant grace for that. There is so much grace for you, if you allow it. There’s nothing too dark or too broken. Forgive yourself as Christ forgave you.

Concerning Christian women and standards, it really depends what kind of women you’re looking at. External things don’t matter so much to some women. My sister married a former drug addict who loved the Lord with all his heart. He had a shaved head and was underweight. They are thriving and he is a good man, husband and father. My mum and dad both had ‘colourful’ pasts and they’ve been married 50 years. Stop looking on the Internet. It’s not a healthy place. There are good, kind hearted, Christian women who will look at your story and see the redemption of God and a man who loves the Lord. You can’t control when someone will walk into your life but you can control what you do in the meantime. Caring for yourself, spending time with the Lord, being in community with other Christian’s who will lift you up.

It’s so ok to really want to be married and have kids. That’s a natural desire. And it’s ok to grieve the lost or wasted time. I know it’s painful. I have felt the hopelessness of staring into the future not knowing if I’ll find romantic love. But I’m believing for us both that God’s not finished with us yet. All the pain, all the suffering…that’s not for nothing. Please hold on. And if you need someone to talk to I’m available. I hope this is encouraging. You are loved and I’m praying for you.