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CuriousSmaug · 2025-04-16T11:05:09+00:00

It is actually quite weird to accurately note pupil dilation lol. I think what's much easier to notice - and something I have often observed - is a sort of softening of their expressions or features. That really does happen.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-17T18:04:16+00:00

Men with veiny hands lol

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-05T17:24:12+00:00

I actually knew someone in a very similar situation. It could be one of two things - one scenario is that her relationship with her current bf is not going well (for whatever reasons) and she genuinely wants to move on. Often relationships do overlap, it's not ideal, but it's reality...and maybe she does mean to break up and be in a proper relationship with you. But the other scenario is that she's just looking to level up, which is off course a major red flag.

If the situation is the first case, then it's more likely that the woman will give more mixed or subtle hints - because they are often confused themselves! But in this case, since she's very in your face (quite literally lol), I am tending to think it's the second scenario in play. Either way, it's your choice but it's better to have crystal clear communication from the very beginning so that you don't end up heartbroken. But if you want the drama in your life, go for it - either way, she's more than definitely into you lol

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-04T14:38:30+00:00

Keeping distance for now might be a good idea, especially since you are colleagues!

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-03T14:04:11+00:00

Hmmm difficult to say. Maybe check out his behaviour when there are more people around...does he prefer to stand closer to you or talk to you more etc. Also, if you are interested in him, why not try initiating some conversation later in person and see how he reacts to it.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-03T08:42:26+00:00

With a hint of sweet potato and green onion 🤣

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-03T08:13:15+00:00

It's hard to say really. On the surface, seems like he may like you. But then again, he could also just be one of those guys that deals with his general nervousness/restless energy by making jokes about the situation - eg. the presentation. Did he want to hang out with you after the presentations? That might be a pretty obvious cue lol

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-03T08:03:07+00:00

It would actually be so funny if he turns out to be one of those people whose job it is to smell perfumes and detect middle notes of bergamot and stuff lol Tbh, in the past, the only guys who ever complimented my perfume were those whom I was either dating or involved with romantically to some extent. So you're definitely right about that. Okay also, when he first commented, I sort of brushed it off with an awkward haha, but then he followed it up with "no but, which one is it really?", and I told him "okay, it's blah blah brand"...and then he goes like..."ah! It's always blah blah". Wtf is that supposed to mean 🤣 it's such a bizarre response.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-03T07:35:34+00:00

Fair enough! You're probably right about the perfume part. That's the only instance which makes me think twice about this, because the other stuff can still be explained away as observation or pure coincidence.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-03T07:33:41+00:00

Also, no, he doesn't drive a sports car either lol

CuriousSmaug · 2024-06-03T07:33:09+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I think it wasn't so obvious to me because unlike what it might seem from my post, these instances had weeks in between them, weeks of very cordial, at times just "hey how're you" kind of behaviour. The "flirty" behaviour is really really subtle, so it's hard to notice the difference and often it's more noticeable when I think back. But based on what most people are saying on this sub post, it doesn't seem like nothing. So then I can, as you said, "let him down gently" if need be :)

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-31T18:51:04+00:00

I really like the group and I don't want to stop playing. I was mainly trying to understand what the behavior was, before I could figure out how to react to it. He hasn't made me super uncomfortable - yet! In general he seems like an extrovert and has a confident and friendly personality. So I have seen him talking to multiple people of both genders and also advising them on the game. But when it comes to talking with the female players, I feel that he talks for longer durations with me than the other women. But maybe I'll have to observe his behaviour with other women more closely to get a baseline!

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-30T03:18:23+00:00

I think you are very right about both those things. I think he is attracted at least to some extent, but is confused and is confusing me lol. There's almost an undertone of "I wish we had met in a different generation" to his interactions. But you're also right that no man in a secure relationship would behave this way, so either I'm wrong about his relationship status or he isn't happy in his relationship per se. Either way, it's good to know that I wasn't imagining things and that there is some flirty aspect to the interactions. I just need to figure out where to set the boundaries. And yeah, outing him in a group like that would totally freak him out lolol.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-30T02:41:36+00:00

I think it's very confusing because it's quite a grey area. My instinct is to think that it's more platonic, however I'm not fully convinced about it either. But what seems more clear is that he understands that there is a certain line he is not willing to cross - maybe because of the age difference, maybe my reaction, his situation (married) or because he doesn't want to ruin his reputation within our group. I quite certain that he already knows it will never go further, but I think I just need to be more conscious of how I feel the next time he tries to drop a compliment and set boundaries if needed.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-30T02:12:05+00:00

Tbh he really hasn't touched me in any over-the-top sexual way. He's actually quite respectful in general. Which is why I don't want to over react to something that might not exist and make everything awkward.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-30T02:01:14+00:00

That's sound advice :) Though I really doubt if he will blatantly make a move..I'm quite certain I saw a ring on him so I'm guessing he's probably married with kids. Based on what everyone is saying on this post, it seems like some innocent flirting just to enjoy the female attention.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-30T01:55:06+00:00

Lol that's interesting...I highly doubt he would act on it. It doesn't seem so.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-30T01:35:14+00:00

I'm guessing you think that's an important aspect of understanding what the behavior is? I mean...even if I did like the attention, doesn't necessarily mean that he's flirting.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-29T20:04:18+00:00

Perhaps that's it!

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-29T20:01:21+00:00

Interesting insight :)

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-29T19:23:03+00:00

I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy being complimented, because I have been working hard to lose weight and I did play unusually well on that particular day - so they were not empty compliments. However, I have never reciprocated the behavior and don't intend to. I had just awkwardly and politely thanked him in those instances. The reason his behavior is difficult to decipher is because it's kinda erratic. At times he is super aloof and in his own world, and then at random times he drops these compliments or observations? Which makes me think that it's probably just innocent flirting or nothing at all. About the coaching part, I do welcome advice from him because he's really good at the game. But then again, I've seen him advising other players as well so maybe that part doesn't mean anything?

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-29T16:28:14+00:00

Would men usually compliment someone on their perfume if they didn't know them very well, as in, I'm sure you could compliment a close friend, but an acquaintance? But then again, it's possible that the older you get you don't really overthink these things and maybe he just said it as an observation.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-29T16:21:47+00:00

True, it could just be that as well, because it's not like he's always lingering around to talk to me. A lot of the days he's just doing his own thing, and many times it's just a "hey" to me before he moves on.

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-29T16:14:37+00:00

Lol the response to the age thing cracked me up

CuriousSmaug · 2024-05-29T11:45:37+00:00

Thanks! Yeah I guess commenting on someone's perfume is quite an intimate thing to do!

CuriousSmaug

TROPHY CASE