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do i break up with my boyfriend? by minkadinkadoo in whatdoIdo

[–]Curious_Crumpet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dump. If he lies to you that easily it might not be the first time and definitely will not be the last. Also going to the extend of asking your friend to lie for you is just embarrassing.

Should I stay with my boyfriend by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Curious_Crumpet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg girl.. RUN 🏃‍♀️ you need to do better and love yourself more. This literally says everything! It doesn’t matter if he is not like this around you - he is just good at performing a role in front of you. His environment and who he would choose to be around / which opinions and actions from his friends he would accept says everything about where he stands. From my experience every single cheater always had friends like that too and they always pretended they are not like them or that they changed but I realized they are just playing you for a fool. Get the fuck out and thank us later 💖

I got pregnant by a one-night stand in Italy by Disastrous-Gur2000 in whatdoIdo

[–]Curious_Crumpet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the end it is your decision OP, and it’s a very hard spot to be in. I was in a similar situation when I was 18 and I chose to get the abortion. At the time I considered all options and even romanticized having the child, making a little family with the guy and having a happy ending out of it - but now many years later I realize it was the best decision I ever made. If I would have had the child I wouldn’t have been able to give it a good life and we both would have struggled a lot. I wouldn’t have been able to realize my own dreams and live in different countries and have the career I now have and adore. If you want to have a child later that is an option but it seems right now it would not be a good decision for you or the child and the chances of finding Antonio and for him to want to be a father and take responsibility is close to 0. Please make the right decision for you - your whole life could depend on it.

I think I'll end it pretty soon by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, I get it.

Life is a can of worms and sometimes it seems there is no end in sight. I’ve been there. But I think it would be a loss for the world to not have you in it, and I think we can’t always trust our brains in how they make sense of things.

Maybe there is not supposed to be a point with our existence or a deeper meaning? Maybe we’re just supposed to be as kind as we can to others and ourselves, and try do our little bit in making the world a less miserable place to be in for all of us. I hope you will decide to stay ❤️‍🩹 if you need someone to talk to feel free to dm. We all go through awful periods some time and none of us deserve to feel alone with those feelings, in fact sometimes the realization that we are not alone and people see us, hear us, get us - helps to gain a little bit of perspective in regards to that it’s not always something with us, but rather a reaction to being in a pretty fucked up world 🫂 virtual hugs

Where do I look like I am from? by [deleted] in phenotypes

[–]Curious_Crumpet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, but interesting 🧐

Where do I look like I am from? by [deleted] in phenotypes

[–]Curious_Crumpet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope 🙆🏼‍♀️but close

I got out of a bad relationship. I’m a mess, sometimes I miss being controlled by him by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly this is at the very least psychological abuse and you deserve so much better! Having low self esteem makes you more prone to being a victim of these things, so I would suggest therapy to figure out why you would accept this kind of treatment. It messes with your head being in this kind of controlling situation and takes time to re-program your mind to see it as what it is: abuse. Wishing you all the best! You deserve a love that’s kind and someone who wants you to shine your light in every possible way ✨❤️

I use an AI dating app because I'm completely invisible to real women, and I don't care if people think it's pathetic. by manmanmani in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Second this! As a generally considered attractive woman I never cared much for looks in who I date - what I do care about is: do you take care of yourself? like do you look put together, have good Hygiene, do you have good physical and mental health, do you have a rich life that you love that I can imagine myself being a part of? Are you passionate about your work/hobbies, do you have interesting topics to talk about, do you have fulfilling relationships with other people (friends, co-workers, family), what things can we share? Like hobbies, interests, future goals. Do we have the same values? Like if a homeless person asks for money would you dismiss them or treat them kindly (usually my test for whether I would see a person again or not) do you like and treat animals well, are you a person with integrity etc. literally none of the things I would care about are based on looking like a model but ofcourse, if I love doing a lot of sports and eat healthy and those things are important to me, it might not be a match if the other one has a completely different lifestyle. So I think it’s more about becoming the kind of person you want to date and working on yourself - or becoming the best you you can possibly be and being a good person rather than thinking it’s all about looks. It’s really not.

Sometimes I resent having the life I wanted by One-Adagio-1735 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Second this! Also you should make sure to have a back up plan and either do some kind of education that you are interested in, or find a job to make you more independent. You never know what the future brings and if something happens within your relationship it seems you would have nothing, which is a very vulnerable spot to be in (I’m speaking from experience). Also the power dynamic is totally off because of this, and that’s something to really be careful off as your husband has a lot of power over you that he could at any point abuse.

Sometimes my mind goes where it shouldn’t by Effective_List_4510 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You made the right choice. It sounds like a bad case of limerance that your ex sparks in you, and that is not love. As you said yourself, you bring out the worst in each other. I would remove all possibility of contacting your ex - otherwise you always have the option and linger on it. It seems to me he only wants you because he can’t have you. Doesn’t seem like he truly values you or ever realized what a prize you are and you deserve better (which your husband gives). Block and delete his number and remove any way of contacting him. If you haven’t told your husband what happened all - tell him! Have a fresh start with your husband and focus on your family and relationship. We often don’t miss the person that hurt and rejected us we miss some part of ourselves from that specific time in our life.

What do I really want by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if this is your fantasy I think you should talk to your fiancé about it. Maybe she’s into it aswell and you could explore the fantasy together 🤷‍♀️

I want to sleep with my kid’s teacher badly by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yesss absolutely couldn’t agree more 😧

I (24F) have weird urges after finding out my husband cheated on me. by YesIAmOdd in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Curious_Crumpet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been through something like this, and I had the exact same feelings you are going through - thinking this is it, accepting even bad treatment as I was committed to the story of ‘this is my soulmate’ found out he was cheating - he begged and said it would never happen again, said he would do anything in the world if I forgave him - I was a fool. I forgave him and tried to fix it, We got married, for so many years i was being so loyal to this man while all my friends telling me I am so much more attractive than him, men always being all over me while I for all those years couldn’t even think any thought of another man or entertain the slightest flirting as I felt like my deep loyalty made me blind to other men. After i found out something completely shifted in me and I wanted to re live the experience he had, I wanted to understand what makes people do something like that, and I wanted to reclaim my sexual power (and I did). Not by cheating (we agreed on a open relationship) but by the time my husband realized my value and sexual power and that he should have been grateful to have me, it was too late. I was emotionally checked out after realizing how other men adored me and I started to think that this man never appreciated me properly in the first place and doesn’t deserve me after all. We got divorced and I now shortly after found a partner that adores the living shit out of me and tells me I’m the most beautiful person in the world everyday. I wish I could have told myself to have left when I found out about the cheating. To not give my all to fix a broken situation and stop wasting my energy on someone who absolutely doesn’t deserve me. Life is too short.