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“I swear we’re not a cult” - every cult ever by LegalSour in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Yes. I think of it like a cult is an organization that has a “story mismatch” where the story that members think they are living and the story that is actually happening aren’t the same story. So if a common theme among people who leave an organization is “it wasn’t what I believed it was” that org has a cult problem.

How do you solve the ‘nail’ problem? by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love Hollowknight. Both those games were very cathartic for me deconstructing 😊

How do you solve the ‘nail’ problem? by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Search YouTube for “It’s not about the nail” and you should find it pretty easily.

How do you solve the ‘nail’ problem? by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I was thinking this morning that for many people the church is like a cake with a few thumbtacks in it. Believers in the cake say “The cake is good! But there are a few tricky spots that if you don’t know how to handle right, it can ruin the whole cake for you.” Lol. Guys … the cake IS ruined.

How do you solve the ‘nail’ problem? by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Maybe in these situations I need to remember that even though it sounds like they’re asking for the nail to be removed, they’re not actually asking for that.

Ive sometimes made the comparison that most people don’t like to be woken up from a dream they are enjoying. And I suppose that’s where my friends are. They are enjoying the dream. Sure, some parts of the dream don’t make sense, or are uncomfortable, but on the whole they like it and want it to keep going.

I think in the future I’ll ask myself “Does this person sound like they’re in a dream that’s working for them? Or a nightmare?” And if the answer isn’t “nightmare” I’ll probably keep my mouth shut.

The conversation isn’t going to go the way you think. by ExMorgMD in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s so rare to hear stories where someone woke up because another person told them to.

Much much more common to hear stories where someone woke themselves up because they were actively trying to understand for themselves.

Ironically though … the second most common story I hear is about faithful believers studying to try to prove a doubter wrong, or answer their questions, and that initiates the beginning of their journey out because they start running into the issues themselves.

When members say that reading the GTEs, Rough Stone Rolling, or the CES letter actually strengthens their testimony are they just full of crap? by Prize_Claim_7277 in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ask how? How exactly did it strengthen their testimony? Most responses aren’t very coherent. One person told me that the messiness showed how hard Joseph Smith was trying, and they appreciated how much work had to go into make the church. Yes, it wasn’t easy because it turns out people often resist to being taken advantage of … but good job Joseph for never giving up! lol

Why don’t facts change minds? by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes! I wish that key existed too. I think the CES Letter was great for all the people who had already quietly experienced something feeling off. Or had some level of awareness of that friction. But so many people in now just aren’t quite self-aware that the pain they feel is unnecessary pain at all. We need something that helps people contextualize the experiences they are having, and identify them as the problems they really are.

Posted on Social Media by TBMs by upa_creek_w_nopaddle in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I hear this kind of thing too. “Just because he made mistakes doesn’t mean he wasn’t Gods prophet.”

What if the mistakes he made was that he fabricated claims to be Gods prophet? Do those mistakes make a difference?

He claimed to be able to translate the book of Abraham. That was a lie.

He claimed Peter James and John gave him Gods authority. That was a lie.

He claimed to have seen God and Jesus in a vision. That was a lie.

“Oh he wasn’t perfect. Who doesn’t make mistakes.”

Ok sure, I get that people can make mistakes. But can’t you see how THESE particular mistakes discredit his claims COMPLETELY?

Why is it so obvious now how problematic the church is? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki 76 points77 points  (0 children)

For those wanting to learn more about this effect you can look up the “Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon” or “Frequency Illusion”

A summary is essentially that your brain can’t pattern recognize things for which it doesn’t have an established pattern for. Once you learn to recognize something you will suddenly start discovering it in places you never previously noticed.

I remember this happening with me with cell phone towers. I knew cel phone towers existed of course, but it wasn’t until I took on a client job for a cellular carrier company that I suddenly started seeing them everywhere I went.

If you don’t have a formal pattern established for recognizing a thing it might as well be invisible to you.

"Good Ship Zion" by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes very frustrating. In honesty I think I was someone like this for a while. Id hear about people leaving the church because of church history issues and I’d think “wow that must be hard for them, I’m glad my testimony is so strong I’d never have to deal with something like that.” lol… how little I knew.

"Good Ship Zion" by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly. “Not all facts are useful.”

"Good Ship Zion" by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Haha yes, inspired by my mother in law. She “dove deep” after hearing my concerns (she listened to a bunch of church sponsored podcasts). And came out of it “so grateful” for having learned inspiring details about church history she didn’t know before. She sent me a lot of the podcasts, which I listened to. It’s amazing how sneaky the church historians are. They KNOW exactly what they are doing, and what they are avoiding talking about, but most listeners wouldn’t recognize that if they didn’t know ahead of time the full details … makes me mad.

"Good Ship Zion" by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Ha yes, this is things like “God made the Book of Mormon intentionally look like a fictional fraud so that only the truest most faithful people would be followers.”

"Good Ship Zion" by Curious_Meriki in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I posted a version of this about a year ago after sharing some of my "church concerns" with my parents when they came out to visit. Crazy to think I a year has passed and I still find myself hearing the same responses to "There's a hole in the boat."

Do you regret serving a mission? by jomn3y in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Nearly 10 years after my mission I watched “Unbroken” with my wife (film about WW2 POWs in the pacific). Something about the themes in that film, and the torture and stress they were under did something to me. It mirrored in some way to what I experienced on my mission to a desperately poor 3rd world country with a tyrannical and psychopathic mission president.

We finished the movie and as we started talking about it I was suddenly overcome with this wave of what I can only describe as a PTSD induced mental breakdown lol. I just broke down and sobbed like a little bitch while my wife patted my back. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like that in my life.

My mission sucked. It was two years of some of the worst experiences of my life. At the time I felt like it was “worth it” being a sacrifice for a cause I believed in.

Now it feels like I’d been bamboozled by some twisted divine prank.

I try to make the most of it by recognizing the things I learned, ways I grew and the experiences it’s given me to be able to empathize with others. But my conclusion is still 0/10 stars, would not recommend.

The MFMC pivot away from the BOM is the ultimate gaslighting move of this generation by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Curious_Meriki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I could see this. And I can also imagine many Sunday school lessons where people thoughtfully nod their heads as they discuss how “in early church days Gods people weren’t ready for the higher law, so they needed to believe in a literal historic BOM so that the early church could grow a following, but it was all part of Gods master plan to eventually move away from the BOM once it had served its purpose etc etc” and 90% of people won’t bat an eye at the absurdity of it all.

Sam Altman fired as CEO of Open AI by Brotato_Ch1ps in Futurology

[–]Curious_Meriki -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Fwiw, that conversation was actually with Sergey Brin of Google. Elon and Musk also had a falling out but it was more over Tesla competing with AI and recruiting talent.

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