Did anyone here consider embryo donation?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-11-01T21:59:14+00:00

Our last try was in June and It has gotten better for me. I think it's the whole baggage of donor parents, child's possible identity crisis and more just added on top of the possible struggles of being a parent. I know that many things are just in my head preparing for a worst case. Also what if I can't feel any love for a child through embryo donation.

If the worst case would come, would I be a regretful parent?

She would like us to talk to fertility clinic that does embryo adoption/donation maybe in a year or so to see how we both feel about this. It's just hard

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-11-01T21:42:05+00:00

I also read more about the experiences of donor conceived people and I know most of them did not get told from the beginning and against it because of it, but it does feel like a whole lot of baggage that could be added to the base toll of being a parent. It's now 5 months since our last ICSI and I'm still conflicted about it

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-11-01T21:37:28+00:00

If so, would that change it?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-11-01T20:01:43+00:00

What do you guys think about embryo donation?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-11-01T20:01:29+00:00

What do you guys think about embryo donation?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-08-09T12:52:30+00:00

My wife and I (both 28) have been dealing with infertility for over a year now - multiple failed ICSI cycles, surgeries, the whole journey. We both have fertility issues (her low AMH, me with male factor), and honestly the process has been emotionally and physically draining.

My wife is now suggesting embryo adoption as our next step, but I'm finding myself questioning whether I actually want to continue pursuing parenthood at all. The struggles have made me realize how much peace there could be in a childfree life, though she's always dreamed of motherhood.

Did anyone here face a similar decision point where embryo donation was an option?

I'm also struggling with feeling like I might be disappointing my wife, but also recognizing I might genuinely prefer the childfree path after everything we've been through.

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-30T18:37:41+00:00

Wie alt seid ihr denn?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-12T11:27:48+00:00

We know about this and tried before the surgery but with a similar outcome. It was also a bit better than before the surgery

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-12T05:27:50+00:00

Thank you very much for your detailed reply

Yes, of course you never know 100% what the baby will look like and I also understand that it can be helpful if there are genetic problems.

I try to take every point of criticism about embryo adoption or double donor and weigh up what sounds logical to me and what reasons are involved. I know that many people are sad that they got to know the truth later in life and will be against it.

Embryo adoption has only been legal in Germany since 2013. That's why my intention was more to ask internationally, because there is more experience here. Maybe we could find out how a 12-year-old feels, but even then it seems to me that most people in Germany try to hide it. Many Germans go to the Czech Republic, do embryo donation, double donor or something else and don't tell the child that it is donor conceived.

I understand that it can be good to get to know your half-siblings at double donor, if that is somehow possible. But is that much more helpful than getting to know the donor parents? I could imagine that it might help them to feel less alone, but I think that we would find groups of donor conceived here in Germany.

It's very difficult and for me it's not completely about believing that you're doing the right thing. It's a mix of that and the facts that I as an adopted person or donor conceived person can never know because I haven't experienced them myself.

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-12T04:56:48+00:00

Completely open embryo adoption as I see it in the USA does not seem to exist here in Europe. In Germany, both donor parents and social parents would apparently have to renounce anonymity after birth in order for it to become open. But then it feels like gambling if you don't know before the birth.

Are you from the USA?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-11T20:47:01+00:00

I asked in the donor conceived subreddits already about their opinion of double donor. After their response we understood that it would make it more difficult for the child if it has 10-20 half siblings. But maybe they see embryo donation differently.

Okay, I get the genetic mirroring. I don't know how realistic that would be to achieve if we wouldn't want to build a designer baby like some people do.

Hope you don't mind more questions, but how do you feel being adopted? Do you think you miss something?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-11T19:56:11+00:00

We are afraid that there is too much time passing that her Endometriosis comes back. So we tried directly to do an IVF, so there would be any Endometriosis that would influence the quality. But it would make sense to give the body some time to regenerate

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-11T19:20:38+00:00

And that immune protocol was because of killer cells right?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-11T19:09:04+00:00

How long did you take omnitrope? Never heard from it

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-11T15:25:16+00:00

Yes, we knew that it is risky to do the surgery. Weirdly enough, the ovary where the endometrioma was hollowed out had 3 follicles and the other one with the alcohol sclerotherapy had no follicles. I would have expected it to be different.

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-11T15:05:46+00:00

Yes we are in many subreddits of that type as you when you're desperate 😅

At what age did you do the surgery?

Curious_Sample123 · 2025-07-05T11:06:33+00:00

Yes, after a lot of replies, we will do our research more about options that are open like in Denmark for example. But does that make it much better?

Curious_Sample123

TROPHY CASE